Such is your fate

[nibelungvalesti]

Who: Meril, bandmates, and Virgo comrades
What: Gratuitous opportunities to interact with Meril.
When: Generally after the awards ceremony; whatever date works for you!
Where: Defying Atmosphere's penthouse and the communal area
Warnings: ??


1.

However the band's publicity might choose to describe her (on those rare occasions when it focuses on her musical talents and not her midriff), Meril was by no means a spectacular keyboardist. She was solid, make no mistake; she didn't miss cues, she didn't make mistakes, her music was always there weaving its way through the guitars and the percussion, underscoring it and supplementing the songs. But she never did solos, nor did she ever take a lead role, or perform fancy tricks or complicated chord sequences.

On some deep level, that both worried and insulted her. So frequently, when the other band members had all gone out to take care of business or visit the cafe or what have you, Meril turned the volume up on her amplifier and settled in for a practice session. She needed it loud, don't ask her why, but she could never quite manage to practice at anything less than a symphonic volume.

But in these practices, she challenged herself, and thus... often failed. When someone had left the outer door open, synthetic notes that led to discordant mistakes blared through much of the building.

2.

Something about the pool soothed Meril, more than a bathtub or a jacuzzi could do. Perhaps it was the coolness, perhaps it was the wide-open space, or simply the ability to float in the water without touching the bottom or sides.

Whatever the case, Meril ofted drifted in the center of the pool, on her back and barely above water -- she actually didn't float all that well, since her body had a high proportion of muscle to fat. Still, she managed, her eyes shut and her hair fanned out all around her like a massive aura. It was, after all, longer than she was tall. In this moment, the girl lost all of her cool attitude and distant mien; adrift, she seemed younger than her years and more at peace than she ever did any other time. Even asleep.

3.

More muscle than fat because she worked hard to keep it that way. Tucked away in one of the exercise rooms, the Ice Queen sweated as her legs pumped hard to lift a stack of weights balanced against her squats.

It made very little sense. In fact, she had actually been 'encouraged' to relax, to let those hard muscles soften just a bit, be just a little bit more appealing in a 'conventional' manner. And because she had only been encouraged, not ordered, the woman kept to her exercise schedule with a quiet determination. Tame as it was, this was rebellion, a defiance of her restrictions and her role that she allowed herself almost nowhere else. Exercise left her feeling clean, pure, as if she was burning away dross rather than fat.

She was here often -- daily, when her schedule allowed. Of all the people under the Virgo umbrella, she might be here the most often. In the end, that might not be to her favor...

4.

For someone whose image centered on aloofness, coolness, and unapproachability, Meril certainly showed up in the downstairs cafe an awful lot. Her band, at least, understood that her appearances there were purest politics, intended to make sure her face resonated in the minds of more senior or popular members of the label. Her open aloofness, which after all wasn't an act, usually kept people from trying to make her acquaintance to deeply, though when they did she was as polite as she ever was.

The strange thing about today, however, was that Meril was working on something. Pen in hand and paper before her, she wrote down lyrics with enough concentration in her act that she actually neglected to seem adequately unapproachable. All the more strange considering that 'Lenneth' had never gotten a single songwriting credit during her time in Defying Atmosphere.

Comments

3

[yellowcopycat]

Like Merril Ryouta made daily use of the gym. He tries to go every morning for at least an hour and a half work out.

He walked into the gym in his gym shorts and tee shirt, a towel around his neck. "Morning," he said with a yawn, heading to the treadmill and putting the towel on it before beginning to stretch. "Anything exciting for your routine today?"

[nibelungvalesti]

"If it was exciting," the girl said between measured breaths that matched each pump of her legs, "it would not be routine."

Then again, what DID excite Meril? Nothing, by any standards; jubilation or even real enjoyment had never shown on her face that anyone had seen. Still, she took pleasure in the exercise, at least.

[yellowcopycat]

Okay, true facts; Meril kinda creeped him out. What was it with Virgo and recruiting weird quiet people? Okay, Kaworu wasn't quiet really, but he wasn't loud either. He let out a sigh and sunk to the floor to do leg stretches.

"You could, I don't know, add something to it?"

He needed to find out who else worked out in Virgo. He could usually hold a conversation with another person all by himself, but sometimes it was nice when they talked back. So he went on like he usually did; talked. He talked about how weird Kaworu was, about Ankh and his cat, about Aoba and how he could sleep through a tornado, about the dramas he and Ankh watched and cried over, teary up slightly when talking about the latest plot twist.

[nibelungvalesti]

Today proved a very unusual one. As Meril completed her final rep, and sat up on the machine with a slight grunt of effort, she looked over to him in the midst of his talking.

"Who writes the lyrics for your songs?"

A question, without anything encouraging her to ask it or any immediate connection to what he had been saying. Perhaps a miracle.

[yellowcopycat]

"Hmm?" Ryouta looked over at her.

"I write most of them. Aoba writes some, why?"

[nibelungvalesti]

"They have asked me, and at least one other, to try writing a song." Swinging one leg over the machines, she stood, then looked down at herself. Despite the effort she had just exerted, her legs didn't so much as tremble beneath her as they took her weight. Good... perhaps too good. She might need to consider upping the poundage. "I have never done that before."

Meril would much prefer that he understand she was asking for advice without her actually having to ask in so many words.

[yellowcopycat]

"Okay?" Unforntately Ryouta was a little slow sometimes. He stared at her for a moment. "Oh, he said after another.

"Well, start with a subject or an idea. And then just write about that. Ankh writes the actual music, but I have an idea about the sound I want, so keep that in mind too. As for lyrics... I just string words together in ways that sound good. Rhythm, beat, the meter of the piece are also important to think of, but not essential when coming up with the rough draft. You can work on that when you write the score, or work with whoever writes the score. Also, don't become attached to the first draft, because the final product could be very different."

[nibelungvalesti]

Slow? At least he caught on. She could think of a few people who would not.

"I see..." But none of that was quite what she needed to know. Though she didn't know that until she had actually voiced the question and gotten the answer. "But how do you know if it is good?"

[yellowcopycat]

"You don't." Ryouta said, stepping of the treadmill. Warm up done, time to do the weight training. His training was more about maintenance than Meril's, he didn't want to become overly built.

"I can feel if something's good to you. But you can never tell what's going to go down with the managers. Sometimes things can be good but not enjoyable. And enjoyable is what they want." He shrugged and started doing some reps with barbells. "You just try for both."

1 - and later than I meant it to be, I'm sorry

[yuruse]

Weasel hadn't left the building, technically, though it might seem like he's absent since the bassist had escaped the orange disaster of his new room by way of napping out on the balcony. The noise he can hear faintly through the screen door rouses him, causing him to go back in through the room and peek out into the hallway beyond.

He's not used to catching their keyboardist as she practiced, nor is he used to hearing her make such obvious mistakes, so he can't help but wonder if something is wrong. Given that she's choosing to do this when the place is practically empty should be a clue that she probably doesn't want to be bothered, but he heads toward the source of the sound anyway.

Watching from the open doorway, Weasel says nothing at first, instead taking in the sight and trying to decide how best to get her attention if she doesn't notice him first.

[nibelungvalesti]

Meril normally would have noticed another person swiftly, but today she stayed focused on her keyboard without any sign she had registered his presence. Another little indication that she was not quite on her usual game today.

As for why she was making mistakes, Weasel can quickly see that Meril is pushing herself beyond her normal limits just by watching her fingers and getting the full taste of the music. Faster fingering, more complicated chords, a greater split of work between left and right hands.

She managed to stumble through one very tricky section -- not good enough to call it professional, but without any major mistakes that had spoiled the whole thing. Spreading her hands on the back of the keyboard, she leaned on her arms, breathing hard as if she'd just been through a fierce workout.

[yuruse]

This might be a good time for Weasel to walk away as though he hadn't seen or heard anything, but instead he steps further into the room. Something is bothering her, causing her to put more effort into her music than necessary - to go overboard.

And frankly, if she doesn't want anyone worrying about her than she isn't in the right band.

"I can recommend a better form of exercise, if that's what you're looking for." He slips his hands into his pockets, casual and nonjudgmental.

[nibelungvalesti]

Her head snapped up the moment she heard him enter, and the fierce, almost dangerous expression on her face lingered just a second before she fully took in who had come in on her.

She let out a long, slow breath as she got her pulse and her nerves back under control, a faint flush of what she refused to recognize as embarrassment trickling through her. "What do you mean?"

[yuruse]

"I mean that usually a keyboard session doesn't leave someone fighting for air. Would you like me to get you a glass of water?"

He doesn't straight up ask her what the matter is, just letting the question be inferred. Asking the obvious might just make her more uncomfortable with things. At least she's not ready to run him out, despite her initial reaction. They know each other better than that.

[nibelungvalesti]

She looked away. A different girl might have flushed slightly, but she was embarrassed nonetheless -- just not able to show it properly.

"I forget to breathe," she admitted -- answering the question he hadn't asked. "This is much more complicated than what I normally do."

She hadn't said no, which for Meril often amounted to a yes. It was difficult for her to ask for aid or even respond to an offer like his.

[yuruse]

He'll get that water in a moment, but for right now Weasel comes a little closer, taking in her practice arrangement. "Anything bring this on in particular? Or did you just feel like pushing yourself?"

Meril keeping things like this to herself isn't unusual, but Weasel prods because he'd expect the same from her, in her own way. They're a team, and a team needs to know that its members are in good form - or at least someone does. It's not like he's going to make her share her issues with everyone.

[nibelungvalesti]

Her fingers curled slightly on the keyboard before she straightened up. The simple motion left her utterly still, besides the braid gently swinging from left to right down by her ankles.

More thoughts race through her mind in that moment than she could ever express if she had hours, but in the end all she said was, "Even if I might never need to be better than I am, I need to become better than I am."

4

[giglio_madonna]

With how busy everything has been lately, Luce hasn't had a chance to really relax lately and she's been put on a strict "no stress cooking" ban by angel. Today, however, is the first day where she's got even a little bit of time to herself, and she takes advantage of that to get some fresh air. She's been cooped up in their suite far too long.

When she spots a familiar face down in the cafe, well, she can't resist heading over.

"Meril! How are you?"

Re: 4

[nibelungvalesti]

And then some people completely failed to be repelled by aloofness. Not that Meril voiced a complaint as she looked up from her writing.

"Well enough. And yourself?"

As cool and distant as her words were, the social niceties were genuine. Meril didn't show emotion well, so she relied on her actual words to convey her intent.

[giglio_madonna]

That's aggressive friendliness for you.

"Better now that me and everyone else are getting a moment to breathe." She makes a move to a chair only to pause, glancing over the table. "Oh, were you working?"

[nibelungvalesti]

"If I was certain, I would tell you." Meril showed most emotions poorly, but her icy expression suited some perfectly -- such as the scorn she cast down at the written words. "Mostly I suspect I am wasting my time. I am no lyricist, there is no romance or poetry in my soul."

[giglio_madonna]

"Ah, I see." Luce gives a knowing nod as she sits down. It's nice to see she's not been the only one who's been trying to fight through some annoying writer's block.

"You don't necessarily need 'romance', although it can help. Is there a subject you're basing the song on?"

[nibelungvalesti]

"Our band's usual fare is space lasers and explosions, so I am beginning with that."

Perhaps that one statement alone could encapsulate all of the reasons Meril was struggling.

[giglio_madonna]

...Ah. She might have to take her words back.

Luce takes the tea she'd ordered at the counter, sipping at it thoughtfully. This sort of genre isn't really her expertise. Still... Space lasers and explosions.

"Well... Are you a fan of fantasy stories?"

[nibelungvalesti]

"I do not know. I have read very few." Her current lifestyle afforded her little time, and on reflection she couldn't think of a single one she had ever read that left an impression on her.