She's living in a slightly delusional one, to be fair. She wants to be strong. She wants to not be afraid. She wants to be the one people can come to--who can get beaten down but still seem okay.

(And she chokes again because that desire... It connects so strongly to the words Mekakushi-danchou, it's almost suffocating.)

"He tried to kill me, Tiger." That's what still happens, too, isn't it? Kido gets stabbed and she just lays there uselessly like everybody she cares about isn't in danger. She is not about that lifestyle.