[It’s the idea that set it off. The idea that it was her fault, that she was watching someone—someone else—getting hurt. The idea that she could’ve stopped it that she was to blame. That she, again, had let something awful happen. That something had gone disastrously wrong and now one of the few people she loved was paying for it. It brought back memories of fire and rock slides and memories she’d never even had before.
She’s young, but not much younger than she is now. It’s her father’s voice, her father from the memories with the glasses who she’s seen playing games with her and her brothers and her sister, the family that had taken up residence in her heart. It’s his voice. And it’s saying something awful as she sits with her brothers.
Even as she hears it again, she doesn’t remember exactly how it sounds. But she knows. It’s awful. Everything is awful. Because Ayano is gone. Ayano is gone and she’s gone forever. Just like her sister, just like her mother, just like everyone who’s ever loved her but her brothers. But it wasn’t an accident this time.
She jumped. From the roof of the school.
And all Kido can think is that she’s alone. And this time… there’s no way to deny it. It’s got to be her fault.
That guilt is all she can feel. Her chest must be caving in on itself. And when she’s in the penthouse—she can’t be there anymore. She can’t—she doesn’t want them to see her. She doesn’t want Tiger to see her, she can’t be a danger to him anymore.
She just doesn’t get far. Being blind makes it kinda really hard to get anything at all done. Or to get anywhere. So she just… slides down the wall. And stays there, staring at nothing, curled up on herself. Somebody please take her back home. She’s kinda in the way and not a very fashionable statue.]
Kido | System Crash | OTA (CW: Suicide)
She’s young, but not much younger than she is now. It’s her father’s voice, her father from the memories with the glasses who she’s seen playing games with her and her brothers and her sister, the family that had taken up residence in her heart. It’s his voice. And it’s saying something awful as she sits with her brothers.
Even as she hears it again, she doesn’t remember exactly how it sounds. But she knows. It’s awful. Everything is awful. Because Ayano is gone. Ayano is gone and she’s gone forever. Just like her sister, just like her mother, just like everyone who’s ever loved her but her brothers. But it wasn’t an accident this time.
She jumped. From the roof of the school.
And all Kido can think is that she’s alone. And this time… there’s no way to deny it. It’s got to be her fault.
That guilt is all she can feel. Her chest must be caving in on itself. And when she’s in the penthouse—she can’t be there anymore. She can’t—she doesn’t want them to see her. She doesn’t want Tiger to see her, she can’t be a danger to him anymore.
She just doesn’t get far. Being blind makes it kinda really hard to get anything at all done. Or to get anywhere. So she just… slides down the wall. And stays there, staring at nothing, curled up on herself. Somebody please take her back home. She’s kinda in the way and not a very fashionable statue.]