"Because I've been hidin' all my goddamn life, an' some things don't change!"

He's yelling now, and that's too far. He pulls up short, doing his best to calm down, forcibly if need be, breathing erratic and shaking from tension. J doesn't usually go this far - he doesn't let himself get pushed this far - so now he's on the verge of explosion and having one hell of a time trying to control it. He can't do this - he's not sure his friendship with Lapis can survive the damage, and he might well break in the process - but he's not sure he can stop himself.

"Look, d'you get why I'm mad at you?" The volume has lowered, even if the intensity hasn't. "Just. D'you understand."