He could have done it better, part of him says immediately. He could have avoided getting caught, if he'd been less stupid. Maybe he could have gotten more people. He doesn't even know anymore.
He just feels like, he thinks while staring down at the towel covering the crystal, this couldn't possibly be what a victory feels like. Like a victory would have had to have been better to even be worth the energy.
"Kind of a loose definition of surviving," he says, and his voice almost has a laugh in it, but it's tight and near hysterical. He fidgets with his hands, like he's fighting the temptation to go for the crystal again. J should have seen how quickly he stopped taking a stand once Blanche had his hands on him.
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He just feels like, he thinks while staring down at the towel covering the crystal, this couldn't possibly be what a victory feels like. Like a victory would have had to have been better to even be worth the energy.
"Kind of a loose definition of surviving," he says, and his voice almost has a laugh in it, but it's tight and near hysterical. He fidgets with his hands, like he's fighting the temptation to go for the crystal again. J should have seen how quickly he stopped taking a stand once Blanche had his hands on him.