She wasn't naive enough to be as selfish as she used to be. She knew, perhaps better than anyone, that the heart had room for to love so many, to cherish everyone. She did know, she did understand, but some part of her.... the part that was still young, was scared of losing Rei at the end of it all. She knew, of course, that Rei had more memories back, and more kept coming everyday, more importantly, she had said that she wasn't going anywhere, and she believed her because Rei had never lied.
But she was still scared, on some level, one she wouldn't admit to and it would take an enemy's spell to make her confess otherwise, that she was terrified of Rei choosing to stay, or worse, choosing not to stay, but not choosing to come home because what she went through here, made a new Rei. She wouldn't admit to it, and that teeny-tiny young and selfish part of her would erase this world's claim on Rei. However, she knew she couldn't but more importantly, she wouldn't. It would make her a hypocrite, but more than that, it wasn't putting faith in Rei. It was saying that everything Rei went through as a senshi, with all of them, did not compare to everything she went through here. It said that, Rei would have all her memories and find the life of a senshi lacking in comparison.
And some little nagging voice, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Nehelenia, told her that the senshi had never been Rei's family the way that they were made to be here. Hadn't Usagi failed to befriend Ivan and Pao-Lin? Hadn't she failed in keeping Rei safe like she promised?
She had. She could admit it.
It didn't make it any easier to know that, though.
She was not enough on her own. It was good, then, that Minako could fill in the holes that she couldn't.
But it didn't lessen the fear and she knew it wouldn't until they were back in their own home. And she couldn't bring herself to say "if Rei came with them" because she wouldn't allow herself to doubt in Rei, not after everything.
She leaned her forehead against the cool glass and closed her eyes. They would fight, they would win, and they would deal with the fall out.
Because they were senshi, because she was Sailor Moon, because it was just the right thing to do.
"Sometimes I wish we could go to the future again, if only to know how things are going, how we're doing with that has happened. I have hope for the future, I know that we'll make it through this, because we always will when we're together." She swallowed. She was putting too much on Minako's shoulders again, she knew.
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She couldn't doubt herself. She'd die before she let Blanche and Santiago get their hands on another person, before they could ever touch Rei again.
"We have to get ready for Moscow and whatever may be there. I think it will be the final act, as it were, the last song."
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But she was still scared, on some level, one she wouldn't admit to and it would take an enemy's spell to make her confess otherwise, that she was terrified of Rei choosing to stay, or worse, choosing not to stay, but not choosing to come home because what she went through here, made a new Rei. She wouldn't admit to it, and that teeny-tiny young and selfish part of her would erase this world's claim on Rei. However, she knew she couldn't but more importantly, she wouldn't. It would make her a hypocrite, but more than that, it wasn't putting faith in Rei. It was saying that everything Rei went through as a senshi, with all of them, did not compare to everything she went through here. It said that, Rei would have all her memories and find the life of a senshi lacking in comparison.
And some little nagging voice, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Nehelenia, told her that the senshi had never been Rei's family the way that they were made to be here. Hadn't Usagi failed to befriend Ivan and Pao-Lin? Hadn't she failed in keeping Rei safe like she promised?
She had. She could admit it.
It didn't make it any easier to know that, though.
She was not enough on her own. It was good, then, that Minako could fill in the holes that she couldn't.
But it didn't lessen the fear and she knew it wouldn't until they were back in their own home. And she couldn't bring herself to say "if Rei came with them" because she wouldn't allow herself to doubt in Rei, not after everything.
She leaned her forehead against the cool glass and closed her eyes. They would fight, they would win, and they would deal with the fall out.
Because they were senshi, because she was Sailor Moon, because it was just the right thing to do.
"Sometimes I wish we could go to the future again, if only to know how things are going, how we're doing with that has happened. I have hope for the future, I know that we'll make it through this, because we always will when we're together." She swallowed. She was putting too much on Minako's shoulders again, she knew.
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She couldn't doubt herself. She'd die before she let Blanche and Santiago get their hands on another person, before they could ever touch Rei again.
"We have to get ready for Moscow and whatever may be there. I think it will be the final act, as it were, the last song."