♪ see the animal in its cage that you built

[traumatizing]

Who: Terry and YOU
What: Angsty songs at an open mic. Also accidental use of someone's fame reward.
When: Dec 2nd
Where: A surprisingly nice dive bar. Let's call it the Black Rose
Warnings: NONE YET but I know what you kids are like so will update as needed.

Terry's never been a huge Winter Festival guy, not for any particular reason, just as long as he can remember he's never been particularly festive. That's kind of amped up since he left home though, when people talk about their families and whatnot-- he doesn't talk about it, and he knows other people have it worse, but it's still hard to avoid that particular thread of melancholy when the holiday season rolls around.

That, and he's been thinking about his family a lot more than normal recently. Dreaming up a lot of things that don't make sense, but whatever's going on, it certainly salts the wounds a little.

Music, he's found, soothes the angsty beast. Open mic nights have done right by Terry in the past, in a myriad of ways, but right now he just needs to get the music out there. It's one thing messing around in his room, but it's another baring yourself to a crowd. Not that it seems to show on him, he's well practised at hiding this particular anxiety by now. He walks up to the "stage" (it's really just a clearing at the back of the room) when his name is called, plenty nondescript in a black sweater and jeans with most of his hair shoved into a beanie, and sits down on the chair that's been left for performers. Sets his whiskey down next to the chairleg and starts tuning his guitar as he addresses the audience.

"Hey, uh... So I know we don't really get snow out here, but. I kind of need it for the angsty image-- 'sun-kissed rooftops' isn't really a phrase that makes people sad, I dunno." There's a couple of chuckles from people watching, but Terry doesn't give it long to settle before he starts his first song, and it carries a feeling of... Not really sadness, more something empty. Like something's lost and missing, entirely intangible. A few weepy eyes from what he assumes are more sensitive people. (He certainly doesn't feel like the song is enough to get that reaction, but he'll take it.) He murmurs a soft thanks and that's all anyone'll get before he starts the second song. This one is angrier, but it's internalised and directionless. And he can feel that restlessness in the audience when he stands with a quiet, "thanks for your time," and departs the scene hastily.

He spends the rest of the night there, listening to other acts and trying to avoid anyone who looks like they might want to talk to him or something, but he's not exactly hard to corner. Especially if you catch him by the bar.

Comments

[sailorlaughter]

Wow, was that like...a social cue she was supposed to pick up. FUCK IT

Pinkie plops down on the barstool next to him. "Hey! I didn't know you came around here!" Not that she'd have likely noticed. She's been spending a lot less time out away from her band lately, and even less at the kinds of rave parties she used to go to. They take too long. She won't hear her phone if they need her at home.

But little open mics are cool! And so is her Trucy-rescue buddy! It might not have worked out that well, but super nice of him to try so hard, right?

[gunslingerqueen]

Terry gets his space, in part because Nariko likes to think she knows when she should and shouldn't pester him, and now feels like the latter. Maybe it would be best to give him the whole evening, she could leave and he probably wouldn't have ever realized that she just happened to be here. But that's not really her style, and ultimately when she does approach him it's with the understanding that she may need to back off this time and let it be.

"You're even more impressive than usual, these days." She may or may not have been one of the more emotional audience members during the first song.

With a little gesture she calls over the bartender to get herself something, and Terry another. "Wanted to come out and shine on your own, huh?"

[traumatizing]

Ugh. Terry takes a moment to mentally steel himself for a conversation he doesn't want to have, masking it by putting out the good old 'fuck off' body language while he takes a drink, but then he looks up and sees who it is and the attitude promptly vanishes. For a handful of reasons, not least because he's not sure she'd even notice.

"I could say the same to you," Terry says with a raised eyebrow, it doesn't seem like her kind of place to him, "it's a nice bar."

[traumatizing]

Terry laughs softly when he hears Nariko, and he gives her a gentle nudge with his elbow after she's ordered the drinks. A mix of amusement at the compliment and general fondness; Nariko is someone he'd rarely turn away, even in his worse moods.

He smirks a little at her as he finishes off his current drink, "gotta kickstart that solo career somehow."

[gunslingerqueen]

"Like I'm gonna let you go more than a few miles away from me, about lost your mind, haven't you."

She's ... Mostly kidding. Kind of. She's kidding because in the end he is too, right? Right. Absolutely. Their drinks come and she takes a sip of hers, and nudges Terry's over to his. "Seriously though, you didn't even invite us."

Nariko isn't taking it personally but it does seem a little odd. He hasn't seemed particularly big on the holidays so far so maybe it's just, but if there's more to it then she's here to listen to him - or pry it out.

[sailorlaughter]

"I don't really, a lot." She sets down her glass - water, apparently. Pinkie knows she's gonna have to get herself home, and she's already had enough to drink. "But I've been trying to like...stay a little closer to home."

A worried look flits over her face for a moment. Everything's just been...off, lately.

"I dunno. There's not really anybody else to keep an eye out for Tiger and everybody." There's their manager, of course, but. Jin.

[traumatizing]

"After everything that's been happening, right?" Terry gives her a look of understanding, he gets it. System Crash is a young band in general, and Tiger is literally a child. It's different to Cosmic Indulgence but he worries about them regardless - Garnet and Nariko especially, but he suspects Richard and Koumei are just better at hiding it rather than being totally unaffected.

"Everyone's kinda messed up right now, but... It's still good to have a bit of time to yourself. Away from all of it."

[traumatizing]

"I didn't want you guys to hear all this sad shit and get worried." That's not all of it, but it's most of it. Everyone's got so much of their own stuff to deal with, he doesn't want them feeling like they need to worry about him too. He'll manage.

[gunslingerqueen]

"Uh-huh." She gives him the most deadpan look that can coexist with a smirk. Nariko can't blame him too much, she was just as compulsive about wanting to keep her issues to herself, though a lot of that had to do with being the baby of their band. "But, I mean, there's this funny thing that happens when you love someone that involves always being worried about them."

Her nail taps at the rim of her glass. "So technically by validating my worry and talking when you're going through stuff you're actually helping to get rid of it! Relationships are funny, right?"

Did that even make sense? Probably not.

[sailorlaughter]

"Yeeeeeeah." Pinkie slumps against the bar, leaning her face on one hand. "I dunno, I think I'd go crazy if I had to stay in there forever. That lockdown really sucked."

And then, of course, she'd gone and gotten sick at the end of it. Half the people in the building had - and the Virgo folks too, which was weird. What kind of sickness even does all that? Pinkie's really sure that's not normal.

"It's been pretty hard on Kido and Tiger. And - " She hesitates noticeably. " - well, I mean, management can be tough. And I get it! I totally totally do! But they're still kids. I just like to be there when they're doing stuff."

[traumatizing]

"They've been through a lot." Terry mimics Pinkie, slumping against the bar with a sigh, "we all have, but-- They're pretty young." Tiger especially.

He casts a thoughtful glance at her, not really wanting to bring up the lockdown, but it's hard not to think about all the same. System Crash has sort of become this band Terry worries about from a distance, they all seem in pretty bad shape from what he can tell from the outside. Terry's expression softens after a moment though, almost a smile, "it's good you're looking out for them though."

[traumatizing]

Terry almost looks like he followed that, listening intently as she speaks. It's something about being worried, but... Nope. After a second or two he shakes his head, frowning. "You lost me."

[gunslingerqueen]

"Stop being a jerk and thinking that not talking helps make my life easier. It doesn't."

What actually helps, what makes it easier to sleep at night, is knowing that if Terry really had a problem then he'd tell her and they could try to work it out together. This whole 'I'm so cool and mysterious and brooding, I can handle it myself' shit didn't really work.

[traumatizing]

"I'm not--" He starts speaking almost before she's finished, a little bit of indignance coloring his tone, but he stops just as suddenly. It's not that he's trying to seem cool and unflappable, he just doesn't feel like his shit is important enough to take up other people's time with. Especially lately, with so much fucked up stuff going on, he just feels like the tie would be better spent on other people.

But she's right, and Terry knows she is because he'd only worry more if Nariko stopped talking to him. He looks down at his drink, frowning pretty intently at it as he says, "I've just... I've been thinking about my family a lot lately," softly, almost too quiet to be audible. He looks a little like it was legitimately painful for him to admit it out loud too.

[sailorlaughter]

"Sometimes I think they're too young." Pinkie glances instinctively over her shoulder as she talks. It feels like a confession. "I mean, it's great that they're following their dreams so young! It takes some people ages and ages to get where we are! But..."

She shrugs. "I dunno. It's hard on them. Even without all the weird stuff lately, it's hard. That's fine for me, but it's different for adults to do it. I'm not so sure they really knew what they were getting into."

Given what's been happening lately, she's not sure she knew what she was getting into. But there was always going to be a price for stardom, right?

[gunslingerqueen]

When he tries to disagree with her again she gives him the judging little sister look that she's all but perfected by now. When he backtracks she's actually a little proud and incredibly grateful. For as hard as they all try to protect her it's nice to have some amount of responsibility, to be trusted by the people she loves most. But all that positivity ebbs off when he actually lets her know what's on his mind.

"Oh." She has to force herself to remain still, to keep from wrapping her arms around him. "You miss them?" She lifts her eyes and looks around. "... It's difficult to not think about considering the time of year."

And yet Nariko hadn't thought of her parents even once. But then she hated her mother so that wasn't any real surprise.

[traumatizing]

"It's... Complicated, I guess." He's never gone into any more detail than leaving home to pursue music, and it's all kind of vague when he tries to think about it. Either way, he doesn't feel like right now's the time to get into his moderately sad backstory. Instead, Terry chews on his lip a little and looks around the bar.

"Writing just... It helps get it all out of my head, you know?"