interstellar5555 | and i've been searching for something so undefined

Who: Bai Shen and YOU~
What: Shen tries to deal with his trauma by doing what he ~~thinks he~~ remembers doing pre-Virgo.
When: December 15-20th, evenings. Ish.
Where: Vista City's boardwalk.
Warnings: References to I Will Twist The Knife & its events [violence, death, etc]. Trauma.

He's exhausted.

Mentally and physically, Bai Shen feels at the end of his rope; past the point of exhaustion, really, this is an overwhelming numbness that leaves only so much room to feel sorry for himself. Much less others. He moves almost like a machine, following directions without spirit or substance, and making only the most paltry attempts to practice.

Which in itself is off; he's always so focused on the improvement. Then again, considering recent events, paired with how everybody must no doubt think of him...

One night, though, he creeps out of the penthouse. Taking a slightly different style than normal, he keeps his head down and the large case on his back like a shield to block him from sight and notice. It's heavy, but he's used to bearing its weight; didn't he plenty of times, before being recruited for VIP?

All of this is familiar to him. Walking the streets, getting a few odd glances as people try to figure out if he's a boy or a girl (or something else entirely), hopping on the bus to get a ride to the boardwalk. If anyone does have a suspicion of who he is, they keep it to hushed whispers; maybe it's his somber attitude that creates the much-needed space, or maybe it's his face, very much disinterested in anything that's going on around him. (Maybe they hate him.) Maybe it's the way he clings to the synth's case as though it's the only thing he has in the world, which is...not far from true.

Eventually, he arrives. The boardwalk is a busy place, but it's a little lighter tonight; that's fine with him. It gives him the opportunity to find some space to set up his synth without being disturbed, the case being left open before it more out of habit than any real interest in busking. That's not what this is about; this is about just finding a place where he can stop being Bai Shen and just be...

Something more. Or less, as the case is. He takes a deep breath, adjusts some of the knobs on the synth- and begins to play. At first, aimless improv; the sort of somber, wandering blues that lead to more than a few passerbys slowing and stopping and, occasionally, tossing their spare change in to the case. Eventually, though, he begins a quiet, hesitant sort of vocal accompaniment, almost as though he's singing to himself more than to the crowd.

"Couldn't find a means to tell you
Couldn't find the words to say
Couldn't bring myself to find you
Just let it fade in to yesterday

Wasn't sure what I'd been missing
'Til I woke up'n looked around
Now I find myself here wishing
I was waking up homebound..."

((OOC; if you'd like to do something else - maybe back at Virgo - hit me up! c: ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No? Well maybe we can come up with a better one.

[She comes around the other side of the synth and makes a shooing motion to get Shen to scoot over.]

[wat. Shen's too really surprised to resist, though he's a bit of a lump at first before finally moving.]

'We'?

Or I can, either way. [She sits down next to him and puts one hand on the board-- she's not a pianist, but she knows enough to compose. She plinks out a little tune to start.]

Been there, done that, messed around
I'm having fun; don't put me down
I'll never let them sweep me off my feet

I won't let them in again
The messages I've tried to send
My information's just not going in.

Burning bridges shore to shore
I'll break away from something more
I'm not turned on to love until it's cheap

Been there, done that, messed around
I'm having fun; don't put me down
I'll never let them sweep me off my feet.

I mean- I didn't know you-

[...could play. apparently she can. automatically there's a part of Shen going in to critic mode, noting flaws- but other than pointing them out, once he picks up the beat and tune, he begins to play a lower accompaniment. it's not quite the blues he was singing, but he can certainly keep a jazzy beat like this.

it's practically child's play, to him.]

[Luci grins as Shen does exactly what she was hoping for-- turn her naked tune into something fuller.]

This time, baby, I'll be
Bulletproof
This time, baby, I'll be
Bulletproof

[She takes her fingers off the synth and scoots a towards the end of the bench to make more room for Shen to take control.]

Alright, same thing again, but put your back into it--

I won't let you turn around
And leave me now-- I'm much too proud
To walk away from something when it's dead.

Do, do, do their dirty words
Come out to play when you are hurt
There's certain things that shouldn't go unsaid.

Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch
My life's too short for me to stop
Oh, baby, our time is running out.

I won't let you turn around
And leave me now-- I'm much too proud
All they do is fill me up with doubt.

[this is what he does, Luci. he's not the lead, he's not even one of the lead instruments- but his synth fills the sound, gives it a depth and atmosphere. and by the time she's finished the next four stanzas, he's got just enough courage to add his quiet tenor to it-]

This time, baby, I'll be
Bulletproof
This time, baby, I'll be
Bulletproof

[and then, abruptly, a shift in sound- dropping a lot of the flair and keeping it on the basics, he repeats it with a glance upwards to see if she minds]

This time, baby, I'll be
Bulletproof
This time, baby, I'll be
Bulletproof...

[She doesn't mind at all, she's thrilled that he's singing with her. It's surprising, yes, but she encourages it by patting his stomach indicating where he should breathe to.]

[She sings out the last two stanzas with him and finishes with a grin that's more like the Lucifer everyone knows.]

That's not too bad either. I like you singing the chorus, the lyrics are good to you.

[Shen falters a bit at the contact, but once he's over the surprise he manages to pick it back up. when she gives him that smile?

well, he's looking back down again, this time blushing a little as he reaches to fix his hair]

I sing backup on some of the songs. 'Mnot nearly as good as Bolin, though.

Shush, none of that. [Luci taps his chin, trying to get him to look up.] Your voice is important. A lead can't do it all by themselves.

[the lighter one doesn't have him flinch again, at least. and he does look up, a passive little barely-there smile present] He has the rest of us.

And for good reason. Hard to dance to just one voice. [She smiles, holding onto it for a moment before it falls a little.]

You're beating yourself up pretty bad over what happened, aren't you?

[Shen doesn't answer that immediately. he doesn't really do anything but lose that smile, then swallow, then...let out a heavy breath as he looks back down. maybe not so much to avoid her gaze, though. this time, it seems a side effect of him adjusting some settings on his synthesizer before picking out some slow notes]

It was messed up.

[that would be a 'yes'. a quick tweak to the synth- and he's able to trigger it's dual-sound mode, his right hand playing a piano-like trail while his left keeps the rhythm with one almost reminiscent of a guitar. this might be even better if he had a sax with it, but Bill's only really so much for the blues...]

I know. I know you were.

[She listens to the music, silently thankful that they were fortunate enough to be able to convey their emotions and thoughts through a medium that was so much more complex than words. This is obviously how he's feeling, how he's felt.]

I don't know when I'll see you again, but I'm not going to feel right about anything until I tell you that I know what happened wasn't within your control. You're a good kid, Shen. Something bigger than we signed on for is happening, we found that out the other night. [She pulls her eyebrows together slightly, in an extremely uncharacteristic expression of concern.] You'll take care of yourself, yeah?

[something bigger than we signed on for

Shen lets his hands rest, closing his eyes as his brow knits together. something about those words...

there's people standing around him, beside him
all of them focused on some sort of - hologram? - before them
they don't understand fully what's going on
but they know that they have to see it through

he rubs at his face, briefly, the deja vu almost, almost familiar by now. but at the same time, it just makes him fret. should he admit to Luci that he's worried it's related, that his not-thoughts have something to do with that night, that he's terrified that if they continue he's going to start thinking like he did before and...maybe...?

no, something in him whispers. you can't be so free to trust.]

...I will. You too. And...'msorry.

Me too. [She leans in and kisses his forehead. Shen's a good kid, he didn't deserve to beat himself up so bad. Even if she didn't have anything to apologize for, it seemed like the thing he wanted to hear.]

Sorry I sat on you.

[AND NOW HE IS UTTERLY, COMPLETELY, 100% BEET RED. good job, Luci. good. job. excuse him while he kind of ~~pulls up~~ adjusts his collar.]

'Sokay. You did good.

and i've been searching for something so undefined

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