I won't pretend that I intend to stop living

[mildwildchild]

Who: erryone in Pride
What: recovering from the events of December 7
When: late December 7/early December 8 - ???
Where: Pride HQ and wherever else they're allowed to go
Warnings: Carnies? references to I Will Twist the Knife


So maybe you've just gotten back from the most mellow kidnapping ever and you're itching to tell your bandmates about what went on with the cool helmeted guys while everyone else was at that stuffy party. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait a little while to tell them, but that's okay - surely you can keep yourselves occupied until everyone else returns.

Or maybe you're one of those who wound up at that party of Naomi's, and your night was a little less fun. Now you're back at HQ, possibly with mended physical injuries and almost certainly with a few new psychological scars. Now's your chance to check in on your friends and bandmates who missed out on all the trauma and deal with things as best you can.

Comments

[variaboss]

[ Is that a little cheer Artolo gets. It is. It's even a Hazzah because why the fuck not. Glasses deserves Hazzahs. ]

Hey, not so loud. Not everyone knows I'm an alcoholic. Just all the important assholes do!

[ That's how bad he is. That he doesn't care who knows he has a problem. ] And only thing you'll find in my wallet is a bunch of condoms, so knock yourself out. I'm sure you could turn tricks for enough money for booze in a few hours.

[iitrebel]

With my ass in plain sight as it is, I find it hard to believe that you think anyone would tap this flat piece of shit.

Now pour, you pillowcase full of diseased crabs.

[Where the fuck did that come from? Did he take something already? Shut up and bust out the alcohol.]

[variaboss]

You give yourself and your flat ugly ass too little credit. Enough booze and even I'd stick my dick in that.

[ A pause and a laugh ] Too bad for you that there's not enough booze in the fucking world for that.

[ But yep. He's pouring all right. Just going to happily get Artolo drunk since he really can't. ]

[iitrebel]

I'm telling you, that's bullshit cheating.

[But he will happily and greedily take that glass for himself. Hammered, here he comes.]

We need an impartial judge. One who can actually get drunk.

[variaboss]

Do I look like a guy that ever plays by any rules but my own?

[ He totally starts drinking soon as he can. ]

Wonder what that's like. Actually getting drunk. Looks like it could be fun.

[iitrebel]

You had to get drunk at some point.

[Shooting down the glass and glad for the feeling that fills up his throat, Artolo points an accusatory finger at him.]

Resistances build up somewhere, you fucker.

[variaboss]

You'd think that wouldn't you.

[ There's a pause like he's trying to remember something. Like it's on the edge of his brain and just slips away. Strange. You'd think he's remember that first time he got smashed. ]

But you'd be wrong. Never been drunk.

[iitrebel]

[Finishing off his glass, Artolo leans over to try and get a refill. He's already snorting.]

Then donate your body to science, because that's sure as hell not normal. You're like a- a-

[The word is still ringing in his ear, familiar in the most annoying way, and he bares his fangs as he glances back through the crowd of gray faces and glaringly orange horns.

"Take a clown's club up the nook! I obviously know that, or did you get your buckets mixed up?"]

Like a mutant. [Artolo gives a sharp shake of his head.] Seriously.

[variaboss]

[ He looks at his drink and then at the other man ]

You know, when I was a little boy, I was called something like that. Figlio del diavolo. The Devil's child.

[ It's strange that he remembers that. He knows why too. He remembers that part as well. About the red eyes he has and a strange memory of flames. ]

Maybe I am. With all the rumors about all the devil worship going around, what's one more.

[ He raises his glass ] Hail Satan. [ Then he laughs, that evil toddler laugh. ]

[iitrebel]

Okay, you're fucking with me.

[Curling up like an awkward bird, Artolo squints at Xanxus.]

There's no way that happened. You're just fucking with the tabloids if you say shit like that.

[variaboss]

I'm being damn serious. If I was fucking with you, there would probably be actual fucking going on. Which there's not, so...

[ He downs his drink. ]

That totally happened. I mean makes sense right. My family disinherited me cause I got into rock, so why not some fun ass nickname.

[iitrebel]

Maybe they wouldn't have done shit like that if you'd gone into, like, classical.

[The idea of which is moderately hilarious, he won't lie.]

Put on a tuxedo, asshole.

[variaboss]

[ He smirks and swirls his drink a little ]

I was going to. I was going to be an Opera Singer. That's what the old man wanted anyways. Had auditions for the Met and a bunch of other places lined up too. But then I went to this concert and I was just blown the fuck away. I knew that I had to play rock. I had to.

And fuck no. No monkeysuits for me. You can't pay me enough to get me in one of those. I mean christ, have you ever tried to tie a bowtie? It's a fucking noose waiting to happen, man.

[iitrebel]

So you just go around shirtless instead. In fuckin' winter and shit.

[variaboss]

Exactly. Besides, I wear coats. I've got more cowhide than a rodeo. So I'm not totally walking around shirtless. Can't make sticks like you too jealous now can I.

[iitrebel]

Oh man, suck my balls. Sure, you got great tits, but you know what? [Leaning over and almost falling over, he leers at Xanxus.] My mouth is ten times better than yours.

[variaboss]

No thanks. Not into giving. So yeah, your mouth is better. Mostly because I don't suck cock. I'm sure you can just go ahead and enjoy that for me though. Knock yourself out. I'll just be here, enjoying my drinks and giving people a nice pass to the gun show. [ He totally flexes at that. ]

[iitrebel]

Hoooooooly shit. [A disbelieving cackle.] What kind of douchebag uses the fucking phrase "gun show" seriously?

[variaboss]

This kind of douchebag. [ Just going to point at himself and proudly admit it. Besides, he does have some serious guns there. They've even been featured in some rather...questionable journalistic pursuits. ] Now shut up and enjoy your booze or I'll drink yours too.

[iitrebel]

Noooooo! [With that overdramatic whine done with, he slumps into his seat and lazily kicks at Xanxus with a quick down of his booze.] Besides, don't you have enough in your penthouse?

[variaboss]

Never enough. There's not enough booze in the world for me. But I do what I can. I don't know how they keep up with me, but somehow no matter how much I drink, in a few days, they restock me.

[ It's like they're trying to keep him drunk. Like keeping his drunk keeps him more manageable or something. ]

But hey, free booze, so I'm not about to bitch.

[iitrebel]

Well, maybe if they know you can't get drunk for shit, they don't care how much you drink. It's not like the booze will be the reason you throw furniture out the window or something, yeah?

[variaboss]

No, it won't be the booze that causes that. I do that shit sober. Besides, I only trash hotels. Don't shit where you sleep and all that. [ Also, he's been trying hard to mostly behave himself. The alcohol keeps him pretty agreeable. ]

[iitrebel]

And has your ass even stayed in a hotel lately? Or do you just rent rooms to fuck them up?

[variaboss]

It has. And I rent rooms not to fuck them up but to fuck in them. Since I ain't bringing my partners back here. Fuck that noise. Banging them in a hotel is the way to go.

[ That and one of them really can't come here. He doesn't want Ryouta to get killed cause Santiago got a bug up her ass for him bringing a guy from a rival label home to bang. ]