"La vita va avanti."

[sharktrash]

Who: Squalo and: Xanxus, Genos, Koumei, YOU!
What: Catch-all for January Shenanigans.
When: Jan 1st-15th ish
Where: MANTICORE penthouse, Pride HQ, possibly elsewhere
Warnings: language, violence, dicks out, the usual. will detail for each toplevel

(( Prompts in toplevels below! Feel free to tag into the ones marked as OPEN. I am still waiting on details for some of them, hence "placeholders" since I wanted to put the threads up in chronological order. They'll be there soon enough! Also, feel free to PM this account or hit me up on Plurk if you want a thread, too! ))

Comments

[scalpedsociety]

You broke your bow. It's been ages since you broke your bow on accident and not on purpose.

[She still wants to be gentle about this...]

[sharktrash]

...don't think too much on it.

[ Look, he loves you, but he doesn't trust you that much. Please stop asking so he doesn't have to lie. ]

[scalpedsociety]

[She understands the reasoning, knowing some things about her son isn't good for her mind, but at the same time...]

Squalo... I sunk hours of my life and your young one into that left hand. If anyone deserves to know what happened to it, it's me.

[sharktrash]

[ Damn it why does she have to be reasonable. ]

Uh, I... sort of... injured it. Just a little! A doctor's already looked at it. So there's nothing to worry about. Really.

[scalpedsociety]

[She wouldn't be your teacher if she wasn't. Also she smells some bullshit.]

Apparently it's the sort of injury that gives your hand too much pressure that it breaks your bow. Normally an injury would make the hand weaker.

[She watched that session closely.]

[sharktrash]

[ GOD FUCKING DAMN IT ]

[ Quick, Squalo, you can do this. Surely the brainwashing could've made you better at hiding crap. ]

Yeah, that. They shot it with painkillers. I can't really feel anything in it. How hard I'm holding something, either.

[ Well, those last two sentences are true. ]

[scalpedsociety]

That must be some strong painkillers.

[But since she doesn't give up that easy, she hold out her own hand, graceful and long, fingers painted such a dark crimson they nearly look black.]

Can you give me your hand?

[sharktrash]

[ For a moment, he considers it. Maybe she wouldn't actually be able to tell -- no, of course she would. Might even pull his glove off, and then what? He frowns and inches away from her. ]

I'd rather not.

[scalpedsociety]

[Look at this face Squalo, LOOK AT IT.]

You don't trust me?

[What's more concerning is what happened to Squalo's hand that he doesn't even allow his own mother to hold it.]

[sharktrash]

[ DAMN IT STOP THIS. He sort of... squirms a bit. ]

I don't want you to worry. I don't want you to be in danger. There's -- there's nothing you can do, so just... don't.

[scalpedsociety]

[Danger... worry. She's been paranoid as of late in her head, what with the party and watching Lesedi kill someone right in front of her. Makes her wonder what Lesedi does to those that are useless to her and Pride... Tamara takes in a breath. Calms down, not for herself but for him.]

You're not making me worry less by keeping me in the dark, Squalo.

[Matter of fact, it's opposite.]

Please, just tell me.

[sharktrash]

...

[ Well. It's just as well now. ]

[ He pointedly looks in the opposite direction as he simply holds his left hand out for her. ]

[ Even without removing the glove, she'll probably notice that it seems... hard, and cold, and heavy, and he won't seem to notice if she begins touching it. ]

[scalpedsociety]

[This is not his hand... this is not the feeling of a real hand. She doesn't even have to pull off the glove. Someone... or something took his left hand and replaced it with a prosthetic. What in the hell?

She wants to panic, wants to scream at this and end whoever did this to her most treasured student and son. But Tamara remains calm... she has to be for her Little Shark.]

Squalo...

WELP DIDN'T IMAGINE THIS WAS POSSIBLE thanks brainwashing

[sharktrash]

[ NOPE STILL LOOKING AWAY. Is he sort of shaking? He might be. ]

[ Music is his life. It's the one thing he's always been good at, the one thing he's sacrificed everything for and perfected since he was a little boy. And now, as far as he's concerned, it's been taken from him. What if he can never play again? From how he's fared today, that seems likely. ]

[ In which case, what's the fucking point to keep on living? Even the fact that the weight feels somewhat right in the back of his mind doesn't make it any better. ]

[ Nope, here comes a sob. And he's just going to turn around and rest his head against her chest, as if seeking comfort like that little kid who'd just heard his father call him a mistake. ]

FUCK U BRAINWASHING.

[scalpedsociety]

[She feels the loss too. She put years of blood, sweat, sacrifice, and tears into that hand. Squalo is her best and brightest, her son. Not only does she feel a mothers pain of practically seeing her son become crippled, but Squalo was meant to be her successor. Meant to pass on what she knew to the next student that was worthy.

They not only crippled her son, but took her future away. A legacy that doesn't involve blood. She will find a way to help him, but right now? It's bleak.

She's struggling not to cry herself. Shaking while holding him, stroking his hair. It is like that time when he first hugged her, seeking comfort in the arms of someone who wasn't his blood.]

Let it out, Little Shark. Let it out...

SERIOUSLY cw: sui...cide mention kinda

[sharktrash]

[ He's not sure if the gentle touches make it better or worse, to be honest. He supposes it means she's not throwing him away as soon as he stops being benefitial, which is reassuring, but it also just makes what happened to him and his hatred for it contrast and stand out more. ]

[ The sobbing eventually dies down, but he stays there, face in her bossom and all. He doesn't think he's got the strength to move and face the world again. He doesn't feel like he ever will. ]

What am I supposed to do?

[ His voice's shaky, barely a whisper - some might be surprised he's even capable of it, given how loud he usually is. ]

[ Considering the only solution coming to his mind right now is taking to the top roof of the Pride tower, with the whole city laid out beneath him, and taking a step forward, he could probably use some kind of guidance right now. ]

[scalpedsociety]

[Why would she? Squalo is more important to her than just being useful. He may disagree, but she loves him even he stops playing. You're her son.]

Today... we don't think about playing the cello. Tomorrow we wake up and do what you're best at, being stubborn as hell. Or at least, I'll have to be stubborn for you. Can you do that?

[Her voice is gentle. Also don't fucking do that, Squalo. (It will remind her of things she doesn't want to think about, the flashes of horrible things in her head.) The aftermath of that will probably lead to your teacher losing her mind or her going right after you, Squalo. Please don't do that to yourself or her.]

[sharktrash]

[ Ma. ;A; ]

I don't know. I'll try. If -- I can't stop. If I stop playing I'll die.

[ He mutters it into her dress, still quieter than usual, though his voice's regained a bit of that signature sharpness. ]

[ Don't you know that sharks never sleep and never stop swimming, or they'll sink into the depths? That's him and fighting making music. Guess there's more meanings to his name than might meet the eye, huh. ]

[ But she does plant a little seed of hope in him again. Damn right, he's stubborn. Yeah, it feels hopeless... but he's not really going to let some trivial shit like a hand stop him from living his dreams, right? ]

[scalpedsociety]

[She still strokes his hair, trying to comfort him. But her words are firm, filled with resolve for him.]

Don't say that, don't even fucking entertain that. You WILL play again, Squalo. I don't care if I have to reteach you from square one.

...Just not today.

[sharktrash]

[ What a good mom. He's so fortunate to have her. With a few more sniffs, he seems to calm down somewhat, and a minute later, actually raises his head to look at her. ]

Why?

[ Why wait? ]

[scalpedsociety]

I figured it was a bad day for you. But if you feel that you can handle learning today, I won't refuse you.

[She never really can.]

[sharktrash]

Well, it is. But it'll be even worse if -- if I just mope around and feel restless, right?

[scalpedsociety]

You're right. Stay determined... and stay stubborn. And I promise I'll help you get your skills back.

[sharktrash]

Thanks, ma.

[ ................a pause. He didn't really intend to call her that just now, but. Just as well, right? ]

[ After a moment, he continues, contemplatively; ]

I haven't exactly lost my skills, you know. I just can't gauge my force properly. I -- what I need is a way to be able to feel how hard I'm pressing the bow.

[scalpedsociety]

[Tamara looks at the false hand.]

The prosthetic is most likely too heavy and you can't feel how heavy you are pressing the bow to the strings. You need something to balance out the pressure or tell you when you're going too hard so you can adjust.

Your answer may be a physical one.