"Quando l'amico chiede, non v'è domani."

[sharktrash]

Who: Dino & Squalo. And possibly you!
What: IT'S A DATE!! meeting between fellow countrymen to appreciate traditional food. Move along, no risotto for you.
When: early noon, January 25th-ish? (after song rewrite, before ghost hauntings)
Where: some nice park within Vista City roughly halfway between Pride and Virgo HQs
Warnings: language? Squalo? should be relatively safe, will update if necessary

(( prompts in comments! ))

Comments

[sharktrash]

The fuck do you want me to do?

[ Okay fine he'll just. Try to take the frog and pull it off Dino? ]

[ ...with his fake ass hand. Sorry if you're getting squished, Fantasma. It's probably not on purpose. ]

[alleato]

Smack it or something!

[This won't go poorly. Not at all.]

But it's chewing on my hand so don't piss it off!!!

[avidita]

[Do not smack the frog!! She's already making the angriest squeaking from how she's being squeezed, which sure isn't making her let go. In fact, she seems to be holding on tighter.]

[Somewhere, hidden by illusions, Mammon is probably choking on their own laughter.]

[sharktrash]

I'm pretty sure smacking WOULD piss it off!

[ Holy shit how hard is she holding on. It should probably be noted as unnatural that two grown men can't pull a frog off a finger, but hey, brainwashing etc. ]

[ Squalo is getting rather pissed off, though. And when that happens? Well, something less nice resurfaces. ]

[ He stares at it flatly for about a second, then squishes her into a fist. Hopefully Fantasma has some trick up her imaginary sleeve that will prevent her from becoming frog juice, because otherwise, RIP. ]

[avidita]

[Well, to be fair, the Cavallone is a huge weiner in multiple ways, so that's at least half an explanation.]

[That aside, unfortunately Fantasma currently doesn't have anything up her sleeves. Fortunately, Mammon does. It's a very minor trick to let Squalo think he's squishing the frog while keeping her safe, even as Fantasma does genuinely let go of Dino's finger.]

[Which was still his fault to begin with, as far as she's concerned.]

[There's a deflated sounding croak.]

[alleato]

[Oh. Oh god. Why.]

YOU KILLED IT????

[sharktrash]

[ Oh yeah that's true. :0 ]

[ With the flat look of a seasoned (frog) murderer, he shakes his hand to get what he believes to be frog squish out on the grass, then wipes his palm on Dino's pants just in case. ]

Yeah, why?

[alleato]

[Internal chaos and screaming and a hideous sense that this is just like Squalo to do. Like... totally normal.]

Why'd you get it on my pants?

[sharktrash]

[ ISN'T IT THOUGH. Somehow this hilarious trainwreck of a situation feels very much normal. What is happening. ]

'Cause you're right there? Why would I get it on mine?

[ CASUAL SHRUG this is the exact behavior of the guy who takes your lunch money isn't it ]

[alleato]

IT'S NOT YOURS! I can't... You just killed a frog and got it on my pants.

[Hold. On. These are... actually tolerable clothes.]

No... Kaoru is going to kill me!

[sharktrash]

That's right. I'm glad we reached this understanding.

[ HIS TONE IS SO DRY ]

[ and then he squints. ]

What. Who.

[alleato]

One of the guys in the band!

[ANGUISHED SIGH.]

I think he actually approved of these pants.

[sharktrash]

[ OKAY THE FLATTEST OF FLAT LOOKS. What the fuck Dino, he actually thought you were kind of cool for like three seconds and now you just keep making it worse. ]

[ When he speaks again, it's slow and full of disbelief. ]

You need your bandmates to approve your pants?

[alleato]

[Well........ more like...]

I've ever felt more judged in my life than when he saw me in cargo pants.

[AHEM. He just rubs the back of his head and looks at the ground.]

Image, that kind of thing.

[sharktrash]

[ Okay for some reason he thinks this guy would rock cargo pants. He'd ask why he cares about being judged, but that last bit explains it. Y e a h image is important in this business. He's just lucky that his band's aesthetic seems to fit his preferred style of dress. Even so, he wears all kinds of things when home, so? ]

That's for when you go outside. So what, you guys are supposed to prance around with cowboy hats or some shit?

[ Hell if he remembers what genre that band is... ]

[alleato]

No! We do kind of wear... natural fibers a lot, I think. I don't know. I'm at that point of doing what I'm told.

[Dino does rock cargo pants, but fashion-conscious he is not, so he pairs it with uselessly ugly things and stops looking cool almost immediately.]

[sharktrash]

What about natural fiber cargo pants?

[ FIGURES. Uselessly ugly things like jackets with fur linings, maybe? ]

[alleato]

AH! I'm going to suggest that.

[Frog forgotten, Dino claps a hand on Squalo's back.]

I knew I could count on you to bail me out.

[sharktrash]

[ RIP frog, you weren't mourned for long. ]

[ He smirks smugly. Might be preening a little. ]

You just gotta use your brain, ~Valentino~.

[alleato]

If you keep calling me Valentino, I'm going to get back at you.

[But yeah. Sorry frog. You were creepy while it lasted...?]

[sharktrash]

[ HUGE, SHIT-EATING GRIN. ]

Like how? Make me wear unfashionable clothes?

[alleato]

Punch you in the--

[Wait, what?]

Sorry. Sorry. I don't know why I said that.

[sharktrash]

You? Punching people?

[ Yeah no laughing again. ]

[alleato]

I've punched people before!

[Usually he's the punch-ee though.]

[sharktrash]

I'll believe that when I see it.

[ Yeah and it's obvious. That or Squalo's just really good at sniffing those out. ]