You laugh until you cry; you cry until you laugh

[sailorgenerous]

Who: Virgo musicians - Ghost Quest people and their friends
What: When eight musicians go missing, what happens to those left behind? What happens when those eight come back far worse for the wear?
When: Feb 1st-3rd and after
Where: Virgo HQ
Warnings: Talk of torture, violence, brainwashing, etc. It's ugly in here, folks.

The past three days have not been kind. The hauntings were odd, yes, but when your friends went missing without warning or a trace - well.

How have you been coping? Have you been coping?

And then they came back just as suddenly, and...it looks like your worries were not unfounded.

This isn't good, is it.

Comments

[sailorgenerous]

That reply is...unexpected, to say the least. Rarity does not like to be caught staring, and yet that simply keeps happening in this conversation.

And then Sans continues, and she feels her cheeks redden with shame. He's right - she just lectured him on hurting people, when she made a terrible decision and hurt him right back. "No," she finally replies, forcing herself to keep eye contact. She can't look away for this. "I don't. After everything that's happened - after all of this-" She shakes her head, takes a deep breath, and tries again. "I made a poor decision. I never should have hit you, and I'm sorry I did." It's more vulnerable than she'd like to be, especially given how many times today he's thrown her words back in her face, but she owes him this.

[exhumerus]

There's a moment of silence after she speaks, and Sans is hard to read. Is he going to say something shitty? He might! There's still time.

But in the end, he just exhales slowly, as if releasing tension. He nods.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." It's still said in the same, level tones, but it does seem sincere. "For what it's worth, Greg is an important pal of mine, and even though he is a total goober, the only reason it concerns me is because sometimes I worry about the guy. One of the kids in my band was missing, too. I can admit it's got me on edge."

[sailorgenerous]

That is a far longer moment than she'd like it to be., and she has to fight not to match his sigh as it ends. Good. She definitely did not want to go for another round of this.

And some one has been missing from ViP too - it puts Sans in about the same state of mind that Rarity has been functioning under for the past few days. "I don't think the past few days have been kind to anyone. I've been doing my best to keep Greg calm, but...it might be better for him to speak with someone he's known for more than a month." It's an invitation of sorts, one she could never have seen herself extending fifteen minutes ago.

After a moment of thought, she reaches across the table and lays her hand gingerly on Sans'. She almost doesn't want to make the offer - she's been spread so thin - but they're all in the same situation, and if she can help, then she needs to. "And if you or your friend need anything, do let me know. I'll...see what I can do."

[exhumerus]

Sans seems uncomfortable, but he doesn't pull his hand away. Whenever he has someone touch his gloves, he can't help but think about how his bones are only covered by a layer of leather, so close to discovery. It frightens him after these disappearances more than it ever had before.

The emotional responsibility implied makes him uncomfortable too, though. That's also a thing.

"The kid'll get looked after. It's just hard to make stick, with whatever's going on in their heads now. She seems to been given the idea that she's our maid somehow. It's...getting kinda bizarre."

But then, he makes an indecisive sound.

"Eh...I've been keeping an eye on Universe best I can, but nobody needs to be taking emotional advice from me. You could say I'm under qualified."

[sailorgenerous]

Rarity doesn't keep her hand on his for long - he doesn't seem too pleased with the situation, and there's no reason to push it. "That's...odd," she replies, wrinkling her brow. After Meril's terror and Marty's physical injury, convincing someone they're a maid is...unexpected at best.

She feels much more at ease with the latter part of the conversation. "Sans, Greg is your friend, and he cares about you. It doesn't matter whether you have advice or not; knowing him, he'll be grateful if you come at all and offer to listen. You don't have to be qualified to be a good friend; you just have to try." She's absolutely certain that she's right, even if she can't quite explain why.

[exhumerus]

"He cares about me too much, if you ask me. He cares about everything too much."

He goes silent for a moment after that, but he looks like he's trying to pick the right words. He curls his fingers around the back of his neck, looking down at the table as he seems to give up.

"Look...I know what you're going to say. That that's a stupid thing to think, or that you can't go through life not caring about anything...but, that's all I've got."

He thinks about what Shen said to him earlier. How he came to ask how to not care about anything. How to not be hurt. How he had to help Haru because he new Sans wouldn't.

"I'm a shit friend because that's just what I am. I've never tried to pretend any different, he just doesn't get it...it'd be dishonest."

To pretend to be the kind of person he's not.

[sailorgenerous]

Rarity wants to interject, but she can see Sans thinking and she stays silent.

She's not sure whether to be glad she did.

She remains silent a few moments more, trying to process what Sans has just told her. He's right - she does not think it's possible to go through life completely apathetic, especially since Sans hasn't.

Even if he doesn't realize it, or doesn't want to.

"But you do care," she tells him gently. "You care enough about what's happening here to stay and take me to task when I chose to be violent." It's still embarrassing, but this is not about her right now. "And you care about Greg, too - enough to worry about whether your friendship is honest and whether he's hurt." She's reaching a bit on that last part, but she's certain enough she's right to continue on. "You don't have to care as much as he does - honestly, I'm not certain anyone can. You just need to care a little. And you do. And that's enough."

[exhumerus]

He doesn't look surprised at what she says, or react beyond continuing to stare at the table ahead of him. He isn't sure she understands, but he didn't think she would. He's even vaguely cognizant of the fact that the reason that no one else understands it is because its a construct of his perpetually ill mind.

That just doesn't seem to make it better, though, when it comes to practicality of it. If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, etc.

Part of him just disagrees, that it's okay to just care a little in the face of someone who cares so much more. It isn't fair. He's already gotten far more loyalty out of Greg than he deserves. And in a way far deeper than the memories of this life, he is accustomed to letting people down.

"Well, y'know...everything has its expiration date. I've been me my entire life. I already know how this will go."

[sailorgenerous]

"Do you."

She's listening to him give up - on his friendship with Greg, and on himself. On a normal day, this would be one of the most upsetting things she hears all day; unfortunately, today is anything but normal.

"Because from what I've seen and heard, nobody has been able to predict anything that's been happening lately. How do you know things will turn out the way you think? The only way you'll fail for certain is if you don't try, and I don't think you'd do that to Greg - because you do care about him." It all comes back around.

[exhumerus]

On a normal day, he probably wouldn't be saying this stuff at all. That counts for something, he guesses, even if it just means he's so tired he can't keep up the momentum of his persona.

The fact of the matter is that he did give up on himself, and it was years ago already. Everything about who he is in this world is telling him it's true. Caring about something has never changed the way it shakes out, or stopped him from from giving in and giving up. Trying just meant that he had something to be disappointed about losing.

"Yeah. But when you're as sick in the head as me that doesn't count for a hell of a lot."

He doesn't look at her.

[sailorgenerous]

She's out of her depth.

The realization hits Rarity like a ton of bricks. She doesn't know how to handle this. Sans is hurting just as badly as Meril is; the major difference is that Sans' version involves less screaming. That doesn't make it better; the problem is, she doesn't know what will.

"Sans," she tries, and falters. The rest of the words simply will not come. Instead, she stands up, moves her chair around to his side of the table, sits next to him, and very gently pulls him into a hug.

[exhumerus]

Oh...um. Oh. Okay.

Sans just kind of lets it happen. His reaction isn't bad exactly. He just...wasn't expecting that? And now he isn't really sure how to react. He exhales, and then chuckles faintly.

"Hey, I'll take it," he says. He's come this far.

[sailorgenerous]

Honestly, she's not certain what to say either. There's a light, easy reply to this, and Rarity doesn't know what it is. Instead, she just squeezes him - just a little bit, and gently - and then lets go.

"I know I can't do much," today has thrown that realization into sharp relief, "but if you need anything, do let me know."