interstellar5555 | Wise men say...

Entry tags:

Wise men say...

Who: Roy Mustang & Riza Hawkeye
What: Roy has to spend Valentine's performing for happy couples but ~~due to popular demand~~ he doesn't have to spend the entire evening alone
When: The evening of Feb 14th
Where: An old school club with a stage somewhere in Vista City
Warnings: Brief mention of previous torture and bad war memories. Romantic mush. Might give shippers feels.

The preview performances and interviews for the album were over. Minus some drinking and new ink Roy had been well behaved while making his way through the busy schedule Pride had thrown at him. It occurred to him after several days of growing clarity that his intoxicated trip to the tattoo parlor had been less of a rebellious gesture and more of a desperate attempt to feel like he had some control left. He knew now what Pride was capable of- death had been dealt to people before him, and he was somehow not his "real self" all thanks to Pride. It took much strength not to despair.

The evening of the fourteenth Roy is relieved to be accompanied by a single body guard to a dinnertime performance at one of the old fashioned clubs out in the city. A smaller crowd awaits him in the dimly lit dining area; someone had forked over a pretty penny to Pride requesting that Mustang show up there to sing the love songs from his album to set the mood for their date. Sitting up on a humble stage with an acoustic guitar in his lap while his body guard is off taking care of unexpected car troubles leaves him feeling relief he hasn't had in what seems like ages.

"This one goes out to a very special woman," he dares to dedicate his final song of the evening, laughing on the inside at the idea of sending the paparazzi chasing their tails trying to find someone he himself was still trying to figure out. The shy girl in the old house, the woman from the battlefield sitting quietly beside him, the woman on the street corner walking her dog who hasn't yet realized he's watching her from across the street with a fond smile. "Elizabeth, you know who you are." The audience, mostly made up of couples, chuckle softly and he begins to play.

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Hold on. That sounds familiar... There were only oh so many Elizabeth's and Liz's in the world. He only had a limited number of those coupons to give out too.

"Really?" Roy leans forward in his seat. "Your friend. Is she a young girl named Emma? Short. Fancy headphones."

"She made that much of an impression did she?" Riza laughs at the thought but it's mostly nervousness. Emma was a bit odd. If she'd accidentally said or done anything that would bring attention to the rescuers, well it wouldn't be good.

"She's a good kid. A little strange and eager, but good all the same."

Roy is so busy playing back his conversation with 3 in his head, he doesn't notice Riza's slip of nervousness. How had "Emma" put it? "She's a long time fan, like since forever." "She is going to be happier than a clam. You'll make her day. Her week!" "I know Liz is going to love it! She thinks about you all the time."

Slowly, slowly, Roy swallows and forces himself to sit up straight in his seat again. It's difficult not to start looking like he's just been surprised in the most wonderful way, which try as he might to hide, he does. Elizabeth... thinks about him all the time? Elizabeth doesn't mind the album name or the dedication she just witnessed? By some miracle he mostly hides the victorious shouts inside of his head.

"Yes. She seemed very enthusiastic and sweet." He's barely thinking about "Emma" right now though. He clears his throat to try dismissing any tension but it doesn't do much to help.

"Did you... like the album?" Is it getting hot in here?

She's known him for almost half her life, so there are very few things he can hide from her under normal circumstances. This just happens to be as far from normal as it gets, so she definitely notices. Riza has no idea what happened, however. The last good, strange, but eager kid they'd dealt with was Alphonse Elric, but even he didn't match up to Emma's truth.

"Yes." It had been a surprise, but she really had. It wasn't as if she had any idea what to expect from an album of songs all directed toward her. Oh, he'll be embarrassed by all of this eventually, but it's nice all the same. She ends up looking down at her glass for a moment before adding, "It sounds like you really mean it."

Roy's mind races. Suddenly it's very difficult to speak. Any sort of confirmation is like telling her how much he's interested in her, and then there are the visions and the woman.

"Thank you. It was my intention for every song to be sincere," he says, glancing downward at the table immediately after saying it. There's that tension in the air again. There's so much more he needs to say. He has heard one too many whispers about other lives and real selves at Pride to skirt around the subject. How could he dream about her before meeting her at the library?

His determination sets in place, and he looks at her, speaks to her in a tone that is more like his regular self than anything she has heard from him since he was taken. "If you don't mind, I'd like to tell you a story, actually, related to my album. I haven't told anyone else yet and I've been hoping that somehow we'd meet again so you could be the first person I tell it to."

This is so many levels of strange she wouldn't know where to begin explaining it to anyone else. From the whole music deal to the faulty brainwashing, it's almost like living out some stupid book. She can't just turn to the back and find out how it ends, however.

She'd recognize that voice anywhere and quickly straightens up in her seat without thinking about it. Once she does, though, Riza leans forward arms crossed over the table top. "You can tell me anything." She wants to add, you've always been able to, but she has to hold that back for both their sakes.

It doesn't make sense to open up this much to a woman he has only spoken to once before now. You can tell me anything. He trusts every word of that though.

"Imagine this. There used to be a musician named Baryl, a drummer. He and his band signed on with a big shot label and the audiences loved them. Everything seemed perfect. But then he and his bandmates realized that their music label was not what it seemed. In fact their CEO, the villain of this story, was running a corrupt business and tortured anyone who disobeyed their orders. One day Baryl's band did something that made their boss so angry that the band was executed." He bows his head and stares at the table top again. He clenches his fists, he can feel his heart beating in his stomach, the thought of Pride and its torture devices crying out for him to stop. Do not disobey or suffer the consequences.

"But that's not the end of the story. It's just the start." He looks back into her eyes and feels some relief. She's there with him and he's stronger when they're together. He can do this. "Baryl and his band came back to haunt their label as ghosts. They wanted to warn the other musicians about the truth. They saw other people taken from their lives and tortured, brainwashed, into joining and obeying the company. So Baryl did his best to communicate with them. Knock things over in their rooms, flicker the lights, play music, and try to use what means he had to trigger memories so the brainwashed artists could remember who they really were. The CEO caught on and trapped one of Baryl's bandmates, hoping to prevent the truth from coming out."

Roy pauses and squeezes his eyes shut, drawing in a long shaking breath. Just saying that much has him quivering inside with the fear Lesedi had conditioned him with. She'll kill him. He has said more than enough for her to end his life.

He leans forward and presses his fists down on the table in front of him, wishing he could ask "Elizabeth" to hold him steady and help him stop from shaking. "Eventually, Baryl found some musicians willing to help him free his bandmate. Before they went to save the other ghost, Baryl told them all the truth. That they were not themselves. In the end they freed Baryl's bandmate but the CEO arrived and punished the musicians who had helped them. She ingrained them with fear and doubts, but even after they were hurt they never forgot what Baryl had told them. They never forgot what the ghosts had helped them remember about themselves."

It takes every bit of strength not to reach out and stop him from saying what he needed to, to watch him work past whatever they'd done and know she was helpless to do anything about it. Every breath she takes is slow and measured, a forced calm as if she were aiming at a target. And wouldn't she prefer to be peering through her scope at each and every person who was responsible for all of this?

It's not a feeling she's used to and it's not one she particularly likes. There was a difference between being a sniper in the military who followed orders and imagining the deaths of others for any other reason. She didn't care for either, but she could reconcile herself to the previous definition of herself.

She lets him finish telling her about these ghosts (friends of Gold and Silver?) before resting her hand on his much like she'd done at the library. This time, she moves her chair closer to him, to become just like any of the other couples in the club celebrating the day; although the words she ends up whispering to him aren't exactly the same, "Tell me what you remember."

He stares at their hands touching as he lists out things that would sound random to anyone else. "Chess. My comrades were taken away somehow. Berthold Hawkeye. The lab and some lessons. Going into town on errands for him. Random childhood memories in a city and in a bar. I was surrounded by women. Wearing a military uniform. Ishbal. Bloody sand. Burned corpses. A black Shiba Inu."

He looks into her eyes, watching for her reaction. "Almost all of these with a woman." He feels like the name is on the tip of his tongue again and this time it comes out. "Riza Hawkeye. The woman I love." He says it so easily without a drop of hesitation, not knowing everything they've sacrificed for their goals. To him the intimacy he feels is surely a sign of a long loving relationship, perhaps even marriage.

There's a twinkle in his eye as something else returns to him. "Elizabeth. It's a code name."

What is she supposed to do with all of that? There were so many bits and pieces to the grand picture of their lives and then that confession...what was she supposed to about that? That wasn't even something she'd expected. She'd known, they both knew, but there was so much they had to do before they could even think about anything else. Then again, did he even mean it or was it part of everything else?

She tries to keep the pain of that uncertainty out of her demeanor when she replies; the smile doesn't quite reach her eyes, however. "I knew you'd get there eventually."

Roy forces his own smile. She had just confirmed what he suspected, and he is happy to hear it. But, and of course there is a but, his head starts to fill with countless desperate questions about who he is. Not all of them are nice. He knows they both fought as soldiers in a war; he doesn't expect a soldier's memories of battle to be at all pleasant but what troubles him most is when he started to remember it. His time being tortured and held in captivity by Lesedi just a couple weeks before had been what reminded him of Ishbal. Watching Lesedi torture the others while he was powerless to help them must have brought back Ishbal for a reason. This is your fault! she had hissed at him over and over during his conditioning.

It's too soon. He can't bring himself to speak of it or the torture, he can feel a lump grow in his throat when he tries to get himself to ask about it. Sorrow flashes across his face and is replaced by a more genuine smile. For now, there are other things to talk about.

"What did you name that dog again? It was something funny wasn't it?" he asks. "What I remember of him is amusing. He was softer as a pup. Very well disciplined." He gives her a pointed look. "And as friendly and loyal as any good dog." He sighs dramatically. "I've been both impressed by that dog, and so very jealous of all the loving attention he gets from you."

If there were any way to get rid of those memories, she'd do it. No. Actually, neither one of them would do so, it was a part of who they were and why they were doing everything they could to right the mess their country had become. But she'd do what she could to ease the memories for someone who hadn't fully recovered them.

"What's so funny about Black Hayate?" She's not half as annoyed at him for that as she could be--he'd never liked the name, but Roy wasn't the dog's owner was he? "And you shouldn't be," she can't help but offer, "he's better behaved, so of course he gets more attention."

"Black Hayate," Roy snickers and shakes his head at her with a big smirk. "Is he really that much more behaved? If I was a cute little dog I bet you'd pay just as much attention to me like that. Or more plausibly, I might behave better if you gave me some special attention sometimes."

He thinks the idea is hilarious now, oblivious to the baited questions and teasing he receives from their team back home. 'Hey Colonel. Bet you wish the Lieutenant would scratch your belly.' 'Does the Lieutenant ever put a collar or leash on you?' 'Ever get jealous that the dog gets to share a room with her?' among others; just a few of countless comments he has to look forward to remembering.

"Where is he?" Roy realizes. They're far from home, he knows that much. His head hasn't wrapped around the other planet or other technological time period detail yet but what he knows of Amestris does not feel Americana. "Did you bring him with you to Vista City?"

Unlike Roy, she remembers overhearing enough of those comments when no one realized she was around. It was part of dealing with a bunch of idiots in the military for the most part, but it was also telling how quickly he either shut them down or how suddenly the conversation stopped when she returned. Still, his making such remarks has her thankful for the low lights in the club, it hopefully covers up the embarrassed flush that colored her cheeks.

"Hayate never slacked off on his paperwork. And no, I left him at home." She hadn't been sure if they even had dogs on this planet. The idea of another planet had been enough of a problem to wrap her head around, worrying about her dog would have just compounded things. "I wasn't sure what kind of animals they had here."

"Really?" Roy pauses to consider the idea of questioning whether or not their were dogs in this area of Americana or Americana period. Dogs are everywhere, it's common knowledge, and he isn't doubting her intelligence. He squints and hesitates to say what he thinks next since it seems so very far fetched but then again so were so many things he had discovered lately.

"We're not from anywhere near Americana, are we? Or Terra." If she laughs he might be relieved more than embarrassed.

A waiter comes walking up to the table to check on the woman who had ordered wine before and Roy puts his shock on hold, smiling at the fellow. "I'll be taking care of the bill tonight," he announces. The waiter is more than happy to agree to the wishes of the artist of the night and Roy sends him away to bring more wine. Shortly after, the rest of the bottle is delivered to the table along with another glass.

Roy turns back to Riza and resumes his dumbfounded expression as if the server had never been there, though he does it while taking a sip of wine this time.

She hadn't planned on drinking anything else, but it was obvious this conversation was going to lead down paths she wasn't sure either of them wanted to touch on. The wine would help to a point, so she let the server refill her glass without a word.

Running a finger down the glass, she sighs, "No, this place is a long way from home. Both physically and ...everything else." There was no telling how much of this she could say and still have him believe her. "Not even Terra, but one of those stars in the sky. I don't know which one, however."

Roy takes a longer drink from his glass and stares into it for a moment, rubbing a hand over the lower half of his face. "Our home lacks some of the advanced technology here, doesn't it? I noticed the architecture of the buildings, the weapons on the battlefield, and the tools in the lab would all be considered old fashioned by a native of this country." Or world. World.

"It's funny. I shouldn't know how computers work or how it would be possible to travel between planets but I do. I'd be even more shocked by this revelation if I hadn't been force fed an education on Terra's sciences."

On that note, she must have worked hard to make sense of the technology here, and to have traveled between planets when hailing from a world that hadn't even reached the moon yet, her presence says even more than he thought at first.

"Thank you for coming for me, Riza," he says. He smiles painfully; a simple thank you seems like a pitiful response to what she had braved, everything he had said so far was pitiful in comparison for that matter. "And I couldn't even remember your name when we met in the library, even now there's still more I'm missing... I'm sorry I couldn't greet you and thank you like you deserved after your journey. For now all I know to say is thank you, and I want to remember you."

"I had to," the weight of her promise to follow him even into hell aside, there was no way she'd have left him on his own. It sounds dramatic to even think it, but there was no way she would have been able to continue living without him there. "And you don't have to say a thing." He never did, they always had a way of knowing what the other was thinking as long as they were paying attention.

He was right, though, there was so much he didn't recall yet and she had no idea where to even start. Or if she should. How much danger would it put them in?

"It'll come back to you, but I can answer any questions you have until then."

Where is the best place to start asking questions? He smiles to himself, thinking how the person he really is likely never imagined he'd be clueless about such basic things. "What is our country's name?" he might has well start calling it by its proper title if he had been some sort of solider.

"And... alchemy. That's what your father was teaching me, wasn't it? I've started remembering circles and instructions, rules and more chemical facts than I ever studied here- I mean. More than what Pride put into my head." Right. It was Pride, not a real childhood in Americana.

"I actually tried it in private. Just reshaping some metal." Many metals, especially the pure ones, made excellent beginning subjects in alchemy. "It was just a spoon, nothing fancy, but it worked."

"Amestris," it was the easiest place to start and would make more sense once everything else came back to him. "Like I said before, it's landlocked. Surrounded by the countries of Drachma to the north, Creta to the west, Aerugo to the south, and then to the east, we have a desert between us and the country of Xing." Along with the ancient city of Xerxes but that conversation can come later.

They were still working on fixing relationships with the other countries. After so many centuries of nothing but conflict between them, it was going to take a long time, especially as they couldn't just explain how or why Amestris came to be. So much bloodshed wouldn't be easy to forgive.

She almost corrects him on the whole Pride thing then remembers that's the name of the record label. Right. It looked like they'd never get away from that one in some form or another. "You could say Pride is responsible for a lot of things." There's no explanation there either, just a sad smile as she looks down at her drink.

"The science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter based on the law of equivalent exchange. This is alchemy, and yes, it's what you were studying under my father. He taught you everything you needed to for basic alchemy." And I gave you the rest. Riza stops short of saying it as she finishes up the wine in her glass. It was still a hard subject to talk about, even the one person who knew more about it than anyone else. Of course, she never expected to have to explain it all to Roy since he'd seen the worst of it personally.

"Amestris," he repeats under his breath. It's good to know the name of his country again though he has a feeling his relationship with it is somehow complicated. It's a heavy word, that seems to carry a great deal of meaning according to the emotions that stir in him.

He hates to have to ask and hesitates, he could remember the details by himself soon. Questions were already eating away at him since he first started to remember the war while Santiago had him locked up. He needs to know even just a little bit more for context so he can sort out what he saw in his memory.

"What about Ishval?"

Well, he's certainly going for the dark stuff straight away, isn't he? She'll give it to him, though, the same as she had for Edward when he asked.

"Ishaval is a region of Amestris. They were annexed a long time ago. There has always been some unrest between the Ishavalans and Amestris." Differences in religious beliefs, among other things, didn't help. And then there was Father's plan...

"Amestris had always been at war with someone, from the first day the country was created. We only recently discovered why, but...the last one was with our own people. With Ishval."

"It was a civil war then." He clasps his hands and lowers his head in thought. That little bit of information alone starts to shine a light on what he had experienced. At least if he regains his sense of the ugly truth he can hold it in his hands again and deal with it properly. "Thank you. That... helps."

He drinks some more wine and gives her a smile as he sets the glass down again. Alright. Take it step by step and for the moment, just be thankful she's here.

"I shouldn't have to ask you about these things or struggle to remember your real name." Stating the obvious, and an something with an obvious explanation but this next question sounds so very wrong without an apology of sorts.

"I hate to ask this but... Are we...?" Which word should he use? Married? Together? Lovers? His face starts to turn redder by the second.

She's quick to assure him that she doesn't mind, it's been an adventure of sorts after all. "It's not your fault. If anyone is to blame it would be those in charge of all of this." Not that she won't tease him about being kidnapped and her having to rescue him later; but still, none of this was his fault.

His question has her stumped for a moment as she tries to work out just what would have him blushing like that. It was a strange sight, to be honest, and so it took her longer than it should have to figure out that he was asking about their relationship. Of course, what was he supposed to think with the scattered memories he had. But, oh wasn't that the question of the night?

Riza starts and stops a few times before finally settling on, "It's complicated." Looking down at the table, she attempted to work out how to explain something she's not sure of herself. "We've known each other since you were my father's student. We've been together through the best and worst of times." That didn't really help did it? "You're more important to me than I can explain, Roy. But we're in the military and you're my commanding officer."

'It's complicated' can mean a lot of things, even something more affirmative, but it's not the type of answer he was hoping for, making it seem less like an open door and more like a 'no.' Roy laughs to try dismissing any disappointment or discomfort that might show on his face.

"I'm a military officer, what a stretch from a musician! I should have realized sooner. That's why I'm getting saluted by other soldiers so often in my dreams- in my memories. I must be one of the higher ranks too. What a strange choice of person to kidnap for musical performances. I'd be more useful as a political captive."

"I've gone and made an even bigger mess for you of my own free will too," he says, gesturing up towards to stage. "I'm sorry. You came all this way to do your job and I write an entire album about unprofessional feelings I might not have even told you about. For all I know I'm more like family in your eyes or I'm forgetting your significant other." He doesn't meet her eyes, he can't just yet. If she weren't next to him now he'd be rubbing his face and groaning. Why had he let himself get so caught up in an idealistic fantasy about their relationship? Jecht had been right about going too far.

Oh no. The tattoo. Jecht had warned him about that and he had gone and done it anyway. Roy's smile starts to dim as the terrible realization hits him.

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