(open) do you know how far this has gone?

[traumatizing]

Who:Terry and YOU
What: Someone regained the ability to sense fears and is furiously trying to ignore it
When:Feb 22nd
Where:Pride HQ/out and about
Warnings: None yet, will update as needed.


PRIDE HQ

[It's a lot to wake up to-- Terry can't decipher it at first, but it feels familiar and uncomfortable all the same. This deafening noise in his head it's a struggle to think through.]

[Eventually he drags himself to the café, thinking maybe he's just going stir crazy from staying in the penthouse all the time. He brings a notebook and his loudest headphones, sitting with his soup and the loudest music he has to hand. Maybe he can work through it. Maybe he just needs something to focus on.]

[Or maybe not.]

[It fucking hurts. Like something's screaming for his attention and he can't pick it out of the noise.]

[He kinda just ends up spending more time with his head in his hands then he does writing or eating.]

THE GREAT OUTDOORS

It's gotta be the building right. Enough weird shit goes on in there that it's not so out there he'd be hearing things. All he knows is he has to get away from it.

But it just follows.

Terry's walking aimlessly when he catches something he's absolutely not in the mood to deal with right now. ”Hey, isn't that the guy from Cosmic Indulgence?” “Yeah, Trauma. Hey! Trauma! We love your band!!!”

Why do these things happen to good people?

He's more than happy to entertain fans most days, but right now? His skull feels like it's splitting and he kinda hates everyone in the world right now. But he puts on his game face anyway.

It's somewhere in the sudden onslaught of selfies and autographs that there's this… Moment of clarity. One of them is being particularly obnoxious and it's like he zeroes in on them, totally blanks out until they're yelling about ‘how cool it is’ and asking how he knew. Apparently like an idiot he drew a bee with his autograph and a dumb comment about nightmares.

At least he didn't freak anyone out? But they're all clamouring for his attention and backing up with stuff about how he needs to go isn't doing much.

Someone help?

[Prose or brackets welcome! HMU over PM or @FiremanSam if you have something else you'd like to do!]

Comments

[cleartranquil]

[ Yuffie's quiet, for once. Only babbling a bit about nonsense things as they head upstairs, and she's gone positively silent by the time they get up to his room

She crawls up on his bed next to him, and sits crosslegged, with her face screwed up in thought.]

Ter. Wanna talk to me? What was that?

[traumatizing]

Not really.

[He turns on his side to look up at her, frowning pretty intensely. Even for him.]

I don't know what it is exactly-- it just started happening this morning,

[cleartranquil]

I didn't even know that about me. How did you?

[ Yuffie might refer to other Yuffie as if she's another person, but at the end of the day she still will end up referring to them as the same. She's frowning pretty intensely too, until she notices how ridiculous he looks and leans forward to poke him between the eyes. ]

You're gonna get wrinkles, [She follows this up with another word, that is A) likely a rude name from her intonation, and B) once again clearly isn't in anything like english.]

[traumatizing]

[He swats Yuffie's hand away with a huff and gives her a bit of a curious look at the name. Or insult or whatever that was. He doesn't recognise it, but she's been slipping into that tongue here and there for a while now.]

What is that anyway? That... language?

[cleartranquil]

I don't really know.

But it's mine, I'm pretty sure.

[After a moment she pauses, and then speaks a line of it, which she isn't going to translate, but parses out a bit like 'It's nice. No one can understand me. I could say anything I wanted to, right now, and you wouldn't know, would you?'

And then back to English.]

And you're stalling. Talk to me, Trauma. Tell me what's up.

[traumatizing]

[THE MOST PUT-UPON SIGH. It's complicated and so far he's done pretty good about not talking about him-- the other him. But he's gonna have to, isn't he. He'll have to deal with it sooner or later.]

Whenever I think about... Me. It's like there's something wrong about him. Something in him-- in me that's. It's not good.

[Terry huffs, trying to sort through the muddle of words in his head. There isn't really a way to look at your best friend and say "I've always thought of myself as a monster and now I know why."]

I never knew what it was, but I guess this is part of it.

[cleartranquil]

[ Yuffie isn't sure what he's saying at first, and her eyes narrow. She's started to gather he's less fond of his other than she is. That other Yuffie is this brilliant bright creature that she can barely fathom. She's strong and terrified and brave and Yuffie wants to be more and more like her. And then there's Luci and Terry, who the more they learn the more scared they are.

She sits forward and watches him.]

Ter, whatever you say about this guy, he can't be that bad. He's you.

[ She sounds painfully earnest if nothing else.]

[traumatizing]

[Terry gives Yuffie a brief smile, but it's sad. A little apologetic. He appreciates her confidence that any version of him would be alright, but there's no way to be sure.]

You can't know that.

[cleartranquil]

A' course I can, dummy.

[ She leans over and flicks him in the head.

Yuffie Kisaragi is not one to be stopped by someone having an emo moment. What can she say? He's her friend, and that's good enough for her in the first place, and then there's the fact that Terry just in general is probably one of her nicer friends. She knows that. She isn't sure why he doesn't.]

I know you.

[traumatizing]

You know this me.

[He doesn't think he's being melodramatic, it's a reasonable worry to him. Yuffie knows less about this other version of Terry than he does, and Terry doesn't like what he's seen of him so far.]

How great can a guy who knows your fears really be?

[cleartranquil]

[Yuffie raises an eyebrow because as far as she's concerned this is melodramatic. Terry, no.]

Just as good as anybody else.

[The green behind her eyes flickers and there's a brooding creature in red. Yuffie can't tell what she's seeing, but she feels the same utter exasperation. Huh. Something to think on, later. ]

So what. So you've joined the party of people with weird power-y things. Congrats, you get your ID card with the rest of us.

[She shrugs.]

If anybody was going to get something like that I'd trust you more than most people with it. I mean can you imagine if Xan suddenly knew what freaked people out? No one would ever sleep again.

[traumatizing]

[He doesn't have anything to say to that - nothing he feels like saying aloud anyway - so Terry's mature response is to roll onto his side with a tired groan and cover his face with an arm.]

[He's just... He can't articulate how much he doesn't want this. How badly he doesn't want to be the guy behind his eyes who can't ever get close to anyone because he's toxic. Because there's something in him that wants to hurt people and he can only keep it so buried.]

[Sorry about your choice in surrogate family, Yuffie.]

[cleartranquil]

[ Yuffie sighs dramatically and instead of doing something actually useful, decides that what she is going to do is flop across Terry like this is the correct reaction to someone worrying about their existence.

In her mind this is a perfectly valid way of dealing.]

I can hear your brain workin', you're thinkin' so hard.

[traumatizing]

[Terry 'oof's lightly when Yuffie lands on him and lifts his arm if only to frown at her. Truth be told, it's reassuring in a strange way, that this dumb shit hasn't gone anywhere.]

[Of course, that is something Yuffie is not allowed to know, so Terry sighs instead.]

Well I've got to make up for you, don't I?

[cleartranquil]

[That gets an elbow shoved backwards into whatever part of him happens to be under her. Jerk.]

Shut up. We all know you're having to work twice as hard to keep up with me.

[ What is it with Yuffie's friends deciding to woe is me about who they were.They can't be that different then they are now, and Yuffie likes them, so what's the point of getting all emo about it? ]

[traumatizing]

[Ugh no his ribs. Terry grunts and rolls onto his back, looking at Yuffie with the same long-suffering expression one might use for a rowdy toddler.]

Whatever you wanna believe, Yuffie.

[cleartranquil]

I believe that I'm awesome, and you need to stop worrying your pretty little emo head.

[ said while completely flopped over Terry, staying put and grinning at him while she uses him like a pillow.]

[traumatizing]

[Terry sighs and drums his fingers on Yuffie's head while he thinks about that. It's a good idea, but on the other hand Terry is a neurotic mess, so.]

Let's not ask for the impossible here.

[cleartranquil]

[ She sticks out her tongue at him. ]

Oh hush.

[ She pauses.]

You know, if it's a crazy power thing, there's gotta be a way to control it. It can't be impossible, you know?

[traumatizing]

Maybe.

[HA HA HA...]

It feels incomplete though. Like this isn't all of it.

[cleartranquil]

[ She tilts her head. ]

What does that mean?

What do you mean 'all of it'?

[traumatizing]

I don't know how to describe it, I just...

[He sucks in a deep breath while he struggles to find the words. He's having to figure it out as he goes so he can explain it to Yuffie and it's not easy.]

It feels choked off, like there's something more I should be able to do.

[cleartranquil]

Like there's something more there?

[She frowns, because she understands that a little. Honestly it feels like there's another option, something else she should be able to turn to and use. She sits up on her elbows, still using him as an arm rest, still continuing to stare at him. ]

So you've got something else rattling around in your head.

[traumatizing]

Maybe, I dunno.

[He sighs and drops his head back against the bed.]

I've got this raging fucking headache, and I guess all that noise is the fears of everyone in the building. [Wow does that feel insane to say out loud.] It's kinda hard to think about anything right now.

[cleartranquil]

[ She leans forward to poke him in the face again, just because she can.]

Everyone in the building? Ter, if you're right? That's kind of amazing.

[ And scary as hell, and vaguely terrifying, but you know amazing in the awe inspiring horrific sort of way. It's not something she would want to have to deal with, like, ever. ]