interstellar5555 | when the hope of morning starts to fade in me

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when the hope of morning starts to fade in me

Who: Tiger Universe and Greg Universe
What: On the verge of a breaking point, Tiger briefly runs away from "home."
When: Late at night on October 27th.
Where: Several blocks away from his venue in downtown Vista.
Warnings: People being super troubled, child ptsd.

He never really planned this. If he had, they probably would have known. He's not sure how - there's no rationality to it. He just feels like the managers anticipate when he's going to do something wrong, because they always seem to be ready for it. Even this doesn't seem like it will last.

But he's not really running away from Pride, at least not consciously. It's not the music that he hates, or his career. The thing that is so maddening is that he doesn't understand anything about this - he doesn't know why he acts the way he does when he fears the consequences so much. He doesn't know why he feels more and more like he can't breathe, and like he needs to do something, break something, for the tension to release.

So maybe breaking the rules will suffice, even if they just drag him back, after everything. Even if they hit him or punish him, like something in his subconscious tells him that they might. If he had the choice, though...he's not sure if he'd ever go back.

At some point he wanders down to the lower half of the streets, where the high rises and walk ways dimly illuminate from above. It's past midnight, by now, probably. He'd been doing some kind of press event for System Crash, but before Jin had known what he was doing, he just ran. Now he realizes that he has no idea where he is or where he's going - he never goes anywhere unescorted. He's not really allowed to.

But people, here and there, are already starting to recognize him. He wonders what he could do. Maybe if he cuts his hair off, or washes his face, they won't notice him anymore. He doesn't want to talk to them - he doesn't even feel like he's allowed to, unsupervised.

When some of his observers try to actually approach him, he straight up runs. They people calling after him don't actually sound like fans.

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Tiger turns to look at him, his expression cutting. He doesn't understand what Greg is getting at, and an fake expression of sympathy is the last thing he needs right now.

"Has what?" he demands, his voice pained and angry.

Greg flinches--less from the intensity of Tiger's glare than the weight of the doubt that comes over him. He's not even sure he has the right words to describe it, let alone if he should share them. He wants to, though. To confirm suspicions, and to find something, even something so strange and frightening, in common.

A hand cups over his mouth, still hesitant. "Has... I don't know." Greg looks away. He wants to have the words for it, for his own sake as much as Tiger's. There has to be a right way to describe what's happened. "Like someone's... haunting you, maybe."

Something in Tiger zeroes in on that phrasing, like it's something familiar. His expression clearly shows that it rings a bell, even if he acts defensively afterwards. He looks at Greg uncertainly, like he can't believe that he is actually referring to the same thing.

He's felt the presences, and their effects. But nothing as clear as the members of Virgo. His expression falls.

"...I'm never going to be like that," he says, quietly. "Anything I remember."

Even with that denial, it confirms he's been feeling these things too. A swell of vindication rises in Greg, though not exactly triumphant. Whatever it is Tiger's been seeing obviously isn't cause for celebration. Still... It's something. Something real, something worth investigating.

"I dunno... I have trouble believing it, myself." The visions have been warm, and happy, but... foreign. "I can't shake 'em, though. They mean something. Maybe not to us, but to... something."

Why does Greg even know about that? He'd gotten the idea that maybe some of his bandmates, and people like Garnet, had experienced something like this...but someone from Virgo, too? It doesn't make any sense, and worse, it's in a way that his brain doesn't even seem allowed to contemplate too hard. Greg is just...some guy...he's just...

Tiger's shoulders sink and he just kind of wanders a few steps ahead, before abruptly sitting down on the pavement and wrapping his arms around his knees. No, that's it. He's not making it any further. He can't do this, he's just going to wait until someone comes to take him, because he clearly isn't meant to be out here.

"This is too hard," he says, his voice tight with pain. He's not even sure what he's specifically referring to. Trying to run away? Trying to understand this? Existing? He just wishes that the hurt he's experiencing would stop, that he could feel like a real person again.

Again, Greg finds himself at a loss for words. These visions... all they've done is complicate things, confuse him, muddle up a life that seemed to be going so great. Thinking about them makes him feel sick, but they have to mean something. They have to be important.

If this is progress, though, why do they feel more lost than ever?

For a long while, Greg doesn't say anything. He can't pretend he knows what to do. Finally, he runs a hand through his hair, and scuffs a foot on the pavement.

"Well. Maybe... if you're up for it... we can grab that burger. And figure out the next step after that?" Nothing was going to stop being hard. But things are never easy on an empty stomach.

I don't know if I can get up.

It's an absurd kind of thought to have, to any normal person, but it's not like its the first time he's felt this way about doing something. Just...sometimes there are barriers to what you do. He can't really think too deeply on it. Right now he feels like something is holding him down, like something is demanding that he just give up and wait. Someone from Pride will come and get him.

Any strength he had built up before is gone, and now he's just wallowing in the aftermath of an idea he can't even remember why seemed good in the first place. They're going to be mad about this, he knows they are. It's his own fault.

But he looks up at Greg, and for a moment he really wants to. He wants to go, he wants to work this out somehow, even if it doesn't really seem possible. He very slightly uncurls himself, and seems like he's starting to try to get up, even if his movements seem beleaguered and unsteady like someone overcome with lightheadedness.

Greg's by him in a second, to steady him and help to his feet. Somewhere in the back of his head, he wonders if this is the most Tiger's allowed anyone to touch him in a day. Maybe even a week.

It's more than evident the kid's at his limit. This whole attempt looks doomed; Tiger has nowhere to go, no plan, no resources, and Greg... well, Greg's in no place to provide anything that's missing. The thought comes that this is good. It's dangerous for a kid to be out like this, foolish, ill advised. Greg ought to have gotten him back sooner. Pride will look after him better than anyone else can.

He knows that last part isn't true, though, as much as he wishes it were. Not after tonight. Even with Tiger's resolve crumbling, Greg can't bear to send him back there. He made a promise, after all.

"It's not far. Trust me, they're great." He suppresses the sudden urge to offer a piggy back ride.

He'd let Kido touch him a little bit, straight after when it happened - mostly so she could quietly urge him not to run away and hide. It worked for a while, but ultimately he'd felt himself withdrawing anyway. It's hard to interact with anyone when your own self image is so torn.

At least once he's up, once standing hasn't been something he had to do on his own, he feels a little bit more in control. He's just sort of riding the wave of where Greg wants to take him, right? He has to do and decide on very little. He can just...go there, until someone comes to get him, and it's fine.

He doesn't even shrug Greg off, this time, like he might have earlier. Instead he just kind of lets himself get stood up (with a strange and almost doll-like quality, blank faced and submissive) as if Greg could take him just about anywhere and it wouldn't make a difference. He's run his battery dry.

"Yeah, okay," he says, mildly, and moves enough forward to imply that he'll go. Even if he doesn't really feel like it will work out.

The last hour or so has been intense, and draining. There's only so long a person can keep crying and yelling before their reserves run out. Things will be better once Tiger's got some food and rest.

That's what Greg keeps telling himself as he leads Tiger along. There's a surreal quality to their shambling, and Greg feels more like he's dragging a prop across the stage than a person. It's late, and they're tired. They'll feel better soon. They'll have to--it's a low bar to set.

The only thing that manages to wake Tiger up from that trance is the arrival of his manager, Jin.

She is clearly displeased, fuming with the kind of anger that comes from spending two hours hunting for a runaway brat of a teenager on the dubious late night streets. She barely even pauses to acknowledge Greg before surging forward.

"Tiger!" she snaps, getting up in Greg's grill in her immediate attempt to separate the two. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you - you're in trouble, young man."

The almost maternal tone of her scolding seems an ill fit with how harshly she grabs for Tiger, trying to tear him away from Greg.

"Leave me alone, Jin..." Tiger shoots back weakly, whimpering with discomfort. There's no fire in it at all.

The sight of Jin sets off a series of several quick, conflicting emotions in what Greg had thought to be a drained brain:

First comes surprise, at how quickly she seemed to appear and start acting. Then he feels a weary sag relief at the sight of a more responsible, trustworthy person, better suited to handle this. Quickly that's replaced with dread, as he now had a better idea of what sort of care she was taking. Finally, a hot flash of anger settles in as she grabs at Tiger.

"Hey." Greg plants his feet, trying to bolster his stance between the two of them, and puts a hand on Jin's shoulder. She's not his manager, and she's not his label. He has no reason to show her any deference. "Take it easy. We were just heading down the street."

"You...You're Virgo, aren't you?" Jin says, assessing Greg with an acute distaste. She scowls and shoves him aside - something that appears to be far more trivial than makes any sense for a human her size. "Tiger, what are you doing with him? You shouldn't be hanging around with these people, let alone selfishly ditching the fans that came to see you."

She lashes out and manages to seize Tiger by the wrist, while still contending with Greg. Tiger winces and gasps with how tight and unforgiving her hand clenches his arm, a hold he absolutely can't break, even as he tries to pull back.

Considering everything, Greg had fully expected to be pushed back. Just... perhaps not quite so literally. Or forcefully. He's startled by the ease with which she casts him aside.

Tiger's not saying anything, but he doesn't need to. Greg can see the pain on his face, and his own jaw goes tight. He steps back in, grabbing on to Jin's arm this time, a lot firmer than his last attempt.

"Yo! You're hurting him! Back off!"

Tiger tries to speak, but nothing will come to his tongue - he has no sensible explanation for this. It's just clear that he's scared and hurting as he casts Greg a pleading look - a look that causes Jin's to become venomous.

"You back off, sir, or I'll be phoning the police! I'm Tiger's manager - and you're...what are your intentions towards this child exactly, all the way down here? Did you tell him to come with you?"

The threat of that implication is clear, even though she doesn't physically pull away quite yet. She doesn't let go of Tiger either, if anything, her grip on him growing tighter.

"Greg..." Tiger starts, but his words get choked out by the confusion in his head.

If her threat registers, it only serves to anger him further. Greg's teeth grind, and he leans forward. "I said, let go of him, you've hurt him enough already!"

He hadn't exactly meant to say that last bit, but as it comes out, he finds his face screwing up, a heat building and he can't find hold back any further. He gets right up in Jin's face.

"You're supposed to look after him, you know that?! That's your job! That's your responsibility, and what have you done? You think he's out here because of all your loving guidance?! HUH? Is this how you show your pride?!"

When Greg gets up in her face, Jin doesn't back down. This is escalating things fast, Tiger thinks, and the sudden rise in tension makes his gut stir. He hates this conflict and he wants it to stop - it's not worth it, he thinks. This is his own fault for breaking the rules and he doesn't even want Greg to be seeing this.

He pulls back hard against Jin's hand, jerking away while she's focused on Greg.

"Jin, stop it!" he growls, yanking at her hold on his wrist. "It's none of your business-"

She slaps him. He sinks back, stunned.

"That is enough, Tiger!" she demands, exasperated and angry. "I've had enough of your attitude! First the awards ceremony and now this-"

The hit shocks Greg as if he'd felt it himself. For an instant, he's stunned. Then something washes over him, hot and fast and overwhelming. In the basement, it had been something lost and unfocused, something he'd used when he'd been unable to think of anything else. Now, it's all focused on one single person and her unforgivable action.

Greg's not someone who fights, and he's not the biggest person around. But he's solid, he's fit, and he has a lot of righteous fury powering the shove he gives Jin. Every fiber of his being goes into pushing her away from Tiger.

"Don't you TOUCH him!" His voice doesn't entirely sound like his own. "Don't you get near him, you hear me?! I won't--"

His breath catches, and he looks to Tiger, and kneels down. His hands are shaking. Distantly, he wonders why he feels so sick and angry, but the fact is that it doesn't matter "Tiger--are--are you okay? You all right, man? I--it's okay, bud, I won't let her touch you."

Every fiber of Greg Universe's being adds up to quite a bit, and it's probably for the best that Jin isn't a normal woman. Even as it is, she's shoved back hard, and hits the building wall back first. In her shocked, she lets go of Tiger enough that he isn't pulled with her - his cheek and wrist are already visibly red.

He stares at Greg in shock as he kneels down to speak with him, something in the desperation of that action getting Greg's concern through to him in a way that words just hadn't been able to. It's a true, visceral display of how Greg feels - even if Tiger doesn't feel capable of accepting or understanding it.

He doesn't know what to say, still crumpled down like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. He knows it's going to. Greg may think he's helping, but at the end of the night Tiger is still going to be stuck with her, and she'll just be more mad. His face is still stinging. He feels like he wants to throw up from all the conflicting impulses.

"Yeah you will," he mumbles, heartbroken, at about the same time that Jin collect herself and comes over to deck Greg right in the face. It's not at full robot force because that would more than shatter the guy's jaw, but it's a hook worthy of a seasoned bar fighter.

Tiger's defeated rejection stabs right through him. He's right, a voice says. He can't do anything, no matter how much he wants to; not without making things a lot worse for the both of them. It's not right, though. He can't let this stand, he has to figure something out. He will, and he'll convince Tiger too, that it's going to be okay--

With all of Greg's concern focused on Tiger, he doesn't see Jin coming until far too late. The hit catches him off guard, and it knocks him right down to the pavement. It would be poetic to say it doesn't hurt as much as what Tiger said, but it hurt a lot. He's completely disoriented as his brain feels like it's rattling in his skull.

"Nnk--St..." Stars dance in his vision. He wants to tell her to stop, that even that won't get him down, but it's easier thought than said than done. "E-even..."

There's nothing Tiger can do at this point. He stares at Greg helplessly as he gets floored by Jin's punch, only breaking from his gaze when she grabs him around the arm and starts to pull. She is officially out of patience, and wants him out of there before Greg can give them any more trouble.

"How dare you," she spits at Greg. Tiger resists her pull as best he can, but is failing. "Tiger, enough!"

"No," he pleads, increasingly upset, even though he is already so tired of fighting this. "Jin, stop it-" He squirms, trying to break free, but it only succeeds in causing her to lose patience with him officially.

She sweeps an arm under his shoulders and hauls him up, starting to carry him away manually even if he won't come with her willingly. It doesn't take long to burn himself out, after that, staring hopelessly after Greg as they disappear down the alleyway.

How did he know his real name?

Edited 2015-11-02 21:51 (UTC)

"No... Tig..."

Greg reaches out, tries to grab her, slow her down, do literally anything, but by the time his hand makes it out she's far beyond his reach. Between the darkness and his disorientation, tears, and rapidly developing black eye, the two of them have vanished before he can even start getting himself off the ground.

Tiger's gone. Greg had promised to take care of him, and he'd let him down. The rage and despair and sickness that's settled down on him is objectively ridiculous, he knows. He shouldn't be crying so hard over a kid he barely knows, only really started genuinely worrying about in the last hour.

If he has to feel all this, he should at least be more angry with Jin than he is with himself.

Greg tucks himself against the wall, so he can at least recover out of the way of the street. Some rock star. It takes a long, long while before he feels like he can stand again, but it's not clear how much is from the hit or the misery. It feels like he could sit there until morning. Finally, wearily, he gets to his feet, and begins to stagger back home.

His manager will want him back, after all.

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when the hope of morning starts to fade in me

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