5 ♊ My shoes are falling apart

[iitrebel]

Who: Artolo Apemis and various other people
What: In which rising star Artolo Apemis deals with his shiny brand new assistant, does an impromptu performance, drinks worrying amount of alcohol, and drops by Lion Pit to see a familiar face.
When: Throughout the day
Where: Pride HQ, a bar on the lower level, and Lion Pit
Warnings: None as of yet, although consider this a general catch-all log for Art if you want to hit him up. Prompts in the comments below.

In a way, he almost wishes he hadn't learned a single damn thing. Laying in his bed, mismatched eyes staring straight up, Artolo thinks on that.

The things he knows here, now, as himself, it's so much better than the flicker of visions that go through his head. In those things, as that person, there's nothing but suffering: the crack of a slaver's whip, uncontrollable mania that jerks him back and forth out of the depths of crushing misery, watching something so good who he loved die long and-

Artolo takes a breath. It feels strangely familiar, to fight against visions in his head. How much was taken away from him? How much was for the better?

As much as he'd like to, he can't stay in bed forever. He has shit to do.

Comments

[iitrebel]

[The cubs collide into each other in their eagerness to sniff his stranger, noses twitching, because they've never picked up anything like him before. Art watches him silently for a moment, biting back the crying fit that threatens him.]

....No one has horns as nubby as yours.

[spokethetruth]

[Signless smiles faintly at the cubs, charmed by their youthful eagerness to get to know something new and strange. He looks up at Artolo, his eyes brighter for it. His smile becomes a bit of a grin.]

I've been told I'm remarkable that way. Yours were longer. And...more numerous too, come to think of it.

[iitrebel]

Always twos...

[It's more a mumble, a sense of yeah that's right, and huh. That makes his text choices to go for double i's more relevant, doesn't it? He rubs at his face, fingers nudging at his glasses.]

You know, for whatever you're saying, I know I have to be hallucinating. It's not even because of the extraterrestrial shit.

[spokethetruth]

[Signless pauses, and looks at Artolo carefully.]

Why is it, then?

[iitrebel]

[He doesn't want to talk about it.]

[He doesn't want to admit it.]

[Artolo takes a breath and it's like a death rattle, clattering down his throat. Like the sound he heard from a limp body strung up like a doll with screaming still ringing in his ears. Another breath, and it catches on something, and the pull of it tugs tears out from the corners of his eyes.]

[Fuck.]

You....

[Breathe. One. Two. He forces out the words past the block in his throat.]

You're fucking dead. [A broken laugh, cutting the insides of his throat like he's swallowed glass.] I don't even know who you are, but you're dead, and I'm the only one left, and I can't do this anymore, okay? I couldn't do it before the goddamn hallucinations and I can't do it now.

[When he inhales again, at least the pain clogging his throat is soothed by the tears that have joined it.]

[spokethetruth]

[The words don't strike him as hard as they might have, in another context. It causes him to flinch, but only because of the pain in his friend's words. He doesn't immediately think much of being accused of being 'dead'... with the things that go on in this place, who knows what thoughts might have been planted there? Maybe he remembers something out of context.

Its much more reasonable feeling to believe that something has Artolo confused than to try to work out how he could be correct. It's not as if he has ever been under the delusion that he'll have a long life, but he's obviously not dead, given that he's here.]

I'm sorry. [He says it for lack of other options, at first, but then slowly builds off of it.] I don't know what has caused you to believe that. But... I'm really here. You don't remember me, but you are very important to me - just like I am to you. I know you don't understand, but I can't just leave you here without trying.

[iitrebel]

Esth-

[And there’s a clumsy but new mangling of his nickname- no lisp, but he remembers it that way, and his tongue trips on it all new.]

Don’t try to act like you’re smarter than me, you bulgewipe, or I’ll point out all the husktops you’ve fucking ruined.

[Tears are still pinpricking at his eyes, and he half turns away to wipe them away from under his shadoes.]

...We already know our memories have been fucked with. We’re not oblivious over here- people have been doing things. Getting bit in the ass for it, too.