interstellar5555 | ♪ Take the skin and peel it back

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♪ Take the skin and peel it back

Who: Terry & Maxxie
What: LABEL PARANOIA ARGUMENTS
When: April 20th
Where: Maxxie's fancy new house
Warnings: Gross emotions

[He thought maybe he'd feel better after leaving things alone. Maybe spending the night here with Maxxie would put to bed that sinking feeling in his chest; that maybe he'd feel like this wasn't so bad after seeing how happy he was about it.]

[Fucking naive, huh.]

[It doesn't help that Terry's always been an early riser. Unless he's been out all night or had a lot to drink, he always tends to wake up at a decent time in the morning, and that gives him a lot of time to stew on his feelings before Maxxie gets up. Terry manages a quick shower and pulls on some pants before he heads down to get some coffee, sequestering himself on the couch while the cleaners come by to tidy up after last night.]

[Plenty of time to think on it in the meantime. This is where the change happens. Where the label well and truly gets its hooks in and bends you to their will. It's what happened— is happening to Garnet, and every time he sees her (which isn't nearly as often as it should be) it's like talking to some Pride diva wearing her skin. Like he's gotta fight again and again to remind her who she is because he didn't see it happening soon enough.]

[He can't let that happen to Maxxie. He won't.]

[Just gotta figure out how to bring it up first. Simple.]

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Yeah, it was nice to wake up to some of my own decor for a change.

[Maxxie cuddles in under Terry's arm, considering coffee. He may notice that Terry is acting weird at some point, but right now he's still a bit cloudy from sleep.]

Yeah.

[Well. He meant for that to come out as a kind of enthusiastic "yeah, I bet," but it comes out kind of lackluster instead. He's just trying to think of ways to bring up his worries-- what if he 'accidentally' burned the house down?]

[That wouldn't solve anything and just make Maxxie upset. Great idea, Terry.]

[He sighs softly and curls up a little tighter against Maxxie instead, brushing his thumb in circles on his shoulder.]

[Maxxie frowns and looks up at Terry, resting his cheek on Terry's shoulder. Terry's never chipper in the mornings, but he's usually a lot warmer.]

You still tired?

Uh-- First cup of coffee, you know.

[He chews his lip a little-- Should probably give Maxxie a chance to wake up properly before he gets into it, right?]

[Maxxie is entirely unconvinced, and he frowns a little more as he sits up and disentangles himself from Terry. His expression is concerned and a bit upset; this is not how he pictured the morning going when he fell asleep last night.]

What's going on? You're acting weird, and not, like, first cup of coffee weird.

[Ugh why must he date someone who knows him so well. Terry frowns back and looks down at the mug in his hand, not wanting to look at his face when he says this.]

You're not gonna like it, but... [DEEP BREATH. Here goes nothing.] Do you ever think it's weird you're the only one in your band who gets this stuff?

[Well that is... not what he expected. Maxxie goes from concerned to troubled, glancing away as he tries to figure out just what Terry means by this. Is he jealous? Does he think Maxxie's being selfish?]

I dunno, I hadn't really thought about it...

[He already sounds defensive, but he's giving Terry a chance to clarify before he really gets upset about it.]

It's not— It's just— [Another deep breath, and he pauses to get his words in order.] I just worry, you know? About what they want from you.

What d'you mean, what they want from me?

[Maxxie feels like maybe he should have put pants on. He draws back a little, trying to force his face not to look as hurt as he feels. He doesn't really know where these feelings are coming from but it's not like he has time to wonder.]

I'm doing my job, Ter, that's why they give me this stuff.

Max, come on. You've seen it.

[He shakes his head and looks up at him, brows knit together as he tries to think of something to make it all make sense, to make Maxxie see exactly what Terry's scared of.]

It's not just about the work, it's like-- [Ugh, what is it like.] Like they're trying to buy you. They already fucking own us, but it's not the same as having your total, willing obedience.

[Maxxie shakes his head. He doesn't want to hear it, and it hurts even more coming from Terry. Part of him can see what Terry's talking about, because he has seen how horrific this label is, but whenever he comes close to that thought it gets drowned out. He stands up, balling his fists in frustration and anger.]

You're saying I don't deserve this? Like the only reason they would give me anything is so they can... own me?

[The words coming out of his mouth make sense, but they hurt more than anything else. His voice threatens to break when he goes on:]

I've been working really hard for this.

I'm not saying you don't deserve this.

[It comes out immediately, without hesitation, and he looks up at Maxxie when he stands with a pleading expression. Because he just needs him to listen, needs him to understand what he's saying and why. He just can't do it, he can't sit by and watch this happen to someone else.]

What I'm saying is Lesedi Santiago doesn't reward people for their hard work because they deserve it. She doesn't give a shit about all that.

[He swallows, grip on his mug white-knuckled at this point.]

It's not about what you do, just what you do for her.

No!

[He protests before he even knows where he's going with it, and he looks up at Terry angry and hurt but defiant, his shoulders tense like he's ready to physically defend himself or curl up in a ball and stop having this conversation.]

What do you think I'm even doing for her? It's fucking crazy what you've been going on about. I didn't make any deals for my soul or anything to get this, they just said I'd been doing a good job and let me pick out a place. Why can't that just be because I'm doing well?

I don't know!

[God it hurts to be saying all this, to have this fight again with someone he cares so much about, and he can barely bring himself to look at Maxxie. He just wishes he could understand and stop ignoring everything that's so obviously wrong.]

[He swallows, taking a quick breath to try and get his voice a little more even.]

I don't know what she wants, but someone who's willing to torture us into submission isn't exactly someone whose rewards you can trust.

[Maxxie crosses his arms and wrinkles up his nose in anger. He can't stand this; he just wanted this to be nice. But here he is, his voice rising even though he doesn't want it to.]

Do I look like I'm fucking brainwashed to you? What do you think is going to happen? Why can't you just be happy for me that I'm getting what I want? It's not all some huge fucking conspiracy!

[Terry recoils, retreating back into his corner of the couch, and for a moment he looks confused and ashamed. Like maybe he's just let his paranoia run away with him and now he's hurting someone he cares about because of it. It's exactly what he didn't want.]

[But, no, he hasn't made this up. He helped free Octave from that prison, watched Lesedi break Tooru's knee, saw the marks she left on Luci. He doesn't know what Santiago wants, but this isn't a good thing.]

I can't do it anymore, Max. I can't just sit here and watch someone else I love get fucking-- get swallowed up by whatever the fuck Santiago and Blanche are doing.

[He sets his jaw and stands, looking away from Maxxie. This... It's clearly not going to go anywhere. Terry sighs, looking defeated and deflated as he drags a hand theough his hair and looks at the floor, and his voice is much the same. He can't make Maxxie listen to anything he doesn't want to hear.]

Whatever, I'll-- I'm gonna get dressed and get out of your space.

Wh--

[There's that four-letter word. It catches him completely off-guard and he's speechless for a moment. When he finally founds his voice, he's obviously confused and there's a lot less bite to it.]

No, you can't just...

[He gestures meekly, frowning at the floor. He doesn't know what to say, where to go from here. He never thought they'd fight.]

Terry...

[Terry honestly hasn't even realised he said it, there's too many emotions flying about and it just slipped out. He shrugs, still looking away from Maxxie, and turns to head towards the bedroom.]

It's fine, I'll just head home and we can go back to pretending everything isn't supremely fucked up.

[Maxxie's too angry to stop him, so he says nothing and watches him go, turning away once Terry disappears into the bedroom. He doesn't want to be there when Terry leaves so he walks outside onto the balcony, throws himself down into one of the patio chairs and brings his knees up to his chest. He knows he's at least partly wrong, but it's almost like there's a buzzing in his head telling him he's not, and it's easier just to stand his ground. But this is his relationship he's fucking with now. This is one of the only things he can't bear to lose in the world.]

[But he needs to cool down. He needs to figure out what's going on, maybe reconsider why he's arguing so hard for this. That's just gonna take time. He just hopes Terry will be patient with him.]

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♪ Take the skin and peel it back

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