interstellar5555 | Locked in a Room

[She waits for all the components to come together before reaching for the glass itself. Of course his idea stops her cold, though she keeps herself focused on staring at the deceptively innocent looking drink.]

Even if you could make it out of a window without breaking your neck, and that is a big if, Xanxus - [Excuse her, she needs to slam the shot, lick the salt and take in the lime all in quick, practiced succession. This is not her first rodeo by any means.] - You think there's anywhere you could go that they wouldn't find you?

[She reaches for the bottle to pour herself more, and licks salt off her palm just because she wants to.] Even more than that, do you really think you can live without the music?

[He doesn't slam the drink yet, just watching her. He turns his shot glass in his fingers and frowns before putting the shot down to turn towards her completely.]

I wouldn't know until I tried. [Still, she has a point. A very good point. Not the breaking his neck point but the second part.] But I guess you're right. Disguises really don't work on me [It's all those scars. Scars she would know cover him] and I'm sure those fucktards upstairs would love to see me back in that goddamn office.

[And now he picks up his shot and slams it, tongue flicking over his own little trail of salt.]

Live without my bass? Fuck... Nariko... There's nothing better than being on that damn stage. But...but haven't you wondered... felt like this wasn't what you were meant to do? [A pause and then a bitter laugh] Never mind. I'm probably just finally getting fucking drunk.

You are probably drunk at least eight-five percent of the time, Xanxus. [Look, he's good looking and up for fun when the time is right and Nariko appreciates those traits! But she's not going to ignore the obvious about him.] But I don't think you're wrong. It's like ...

[More salt, more lime, but she hesitates with the drink itself.] It's like I didn't know that I'm not actually happy until I saw all of that. That was being happy and this isn't bad, not at all, but suddenly it feels different.

[She wants to attribute a lot of that to feeling like shit, to being unable to perform or express herself in any meaningful way. There were lots of explanations for the weird behavior and feelings, cabin fever was a bitch, after all! But none of them felt right and it was so much more difficult to pretend that it might be right after hearing him say that. However they've got another important topic, here:]

You were taken to her office? [And then she starts the process over again, letting the alcohol fuzz up her senses and make her pleasantly numb to everything that felt off.]

Go a bit higher and you got me pegged there, Nariko. [Because he's never going to be apologetic about his bad habits. At least he's not falling back on the even worse ones he had when he was in his metal band. Besides, why get butthurt when a beautiful woman points shit out he already know about himself. What matters is if she's still willing for a quickie despite all that shit. Not that he wants one right now, but the night is still young.]

That bullshit at the fair... [That's what he attributes a lot of it to. It was the first time it hit him over the head with how...off things were. Like he was supposed to be somewhere else doing something else.] It's so goddamn stupid. I get dragged up there and interrogated and those asshats that took us and fucked with us get off scot free.

No wonder you've been so weird. [She'd assumed that it was all chalked up to being stuck in here, to maybe being dragged back here after a fight like he was an admonished thirteen-year-old, not a grown man. That'd be enough to take the wind out of anyone's sails.] I don't think it's fair either but the best we can do is go along with Luci's plan, right? [She reaches up to massage the back of her neck thoughtfully.] I mean, the unfortunate part about that is by performing we still generate more interest and income which ultimately works out for Predator, too, but whatever.

[... It has taken her ages to fully voice why, badass and thoughtful as it was, Luci's plan had felt off. It wasn't a reason to avoid going to the event and Nariko would keep working on her song.]

You weren't in one of those fake death traps, were you?

[It's a little of that too. It's bullshit that they want him to be the bad boy that pulls in all sorts of publicity for his stunts but they also want him to toe the line and follow the rules. It's one or the other. And it just makes him want to punch something. Just not Nariko because he ~~likes~~tolerates her.] Yeah. I know. But I'm not going to leave Luci high and dry. I made her a promise and I might be a lot of things, but I won't break a promise.

[A dark laugh then and he shakes his head] I wasn't in one, but Kermit the Sadist and I went a few rounds with a cattle prod and I ended up in a cage because I wouldn't play their bullshit games.

[More like, he was an asshole and watched the victim suffer for the lols] You weren't involved in any of that crap, were you?

[What an incredibly Xanxus-like answer, from the weird nickname to the actual reality of the whole thing. She smiles even though it's not at all funny, per se, but there is something about hearing his take that's weirdly - normal. Comforting? It's hard to describe and she doesn't give herself too much flack for not knowing where that feeling comes from. It's a weird night. But when he asks about her role in it ... Nariko can't help visibly tensing up.

She was doing a lot better, no more nightmares or ridiculous fears that she would be kidnapped (although Predator had made it oh so very clear that they could steal into their rooms at any time, so maybe it's not something she should try to repress?). But just remembering it was the worst. It had all been a setup but she really thought she was going to die.]

I was - [Fine. That's what she should tell him. She doesn't need to bother him with this. And yet:] I was in this chair thing that had a flamethrower attached. Every time they hit a lazer I got closer to being burned alive.

[It had been horrifying and she doesn't have the strength to hide that basic fact.] Richard, Kido, and Maxxie were there, though! They got me out in time.

[He puts his glass down. Actually puts it down. He turns to look at her. Study her face. Watch her. He probably shouldn't have asked. Not really, but he had because he had no tact what so ever.

Yeah...he gets how disturbing that is. the idea that assholes can get into his room and take him at any time. Next time he swore he wouldn't go down without a hell of a fight. But what she says next. That's really really messed up. And for a moment, one hellish moment, his body throbs in phantom pain. Something he represses though he turns away from her for a moment, giving her his profile and a very good sight of the large burn scar on his cheek.]

That's real fucked up. I'm glad someone got to you before you ended up looking like me. But I guess that means we won't be banging in front of a roaring fire any time soon, right? [Because making it into a joke is so much better than dealing with it]

Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to pull it off the way you can. Men with scars are dangerous and enticing. Women? Not so much. [That wasn't a harsh critique of other women but rather an unfortunate, vain truth of the world. While she was one hell of a singer Nariko wasn't stupid enough to believe that her looks didn't play a huge part in her appeal, in how people treated her. Hell, her complete desire to flaunt it where it might serve her well was only proof that she knew it too well, both the good and the bad.] I never figured you for that type, but I might be able to handle it if you give me time.

[And with that, more drinking! And as she slams the cup down, squeezing her eyes shut as if it might block out the memory of her fear, how small and insignificant she'd felt then - waiting for Richard to save her, protect her. It seemed that everyone was capable except for stupid, ridiculous little Nariko.

It pissed her off.] Xanxus.

[She takes the bottle again, holding it up a little as if it were some holy artifact.] I am going to get incredibly drunk tonight!

[And to prove it she doesn't pour herself another, she goes right for the bottle, chugging for one, two, three ... Nearly seven whole seconds before she has to give up.] Maybe be prepared to dump me in a corner or something.

What? You don't think I'd go for some bullshit romantical setting with bearskin rugs and roaring fires and champagne? Maybe I'd even cuddle after. Probably give you a damn heart attack in the process. [He's definitely joking though it is sort of nice to the ego to hear that she thinks scars on a dude are enticing. Sometimes, even he can be self conscious about how messed up his skin actually is.

His eyebrows raise when she takes the bottle and chugs it. He thought he was the only one uncultured enough to do that.] The hell with that, Nariko. No dirty ass corners for you. I'll still be sober enough to take you back to your rooms and put you to bed. So drink your fill. Just save me some.

[She laughs at the bit about romantic settings because he is definitely kidding. Nariko's hardly the judging type, anyone who likes that sort of thing could go for it! But even at her most romantic she just wasn't that kind of girl, it was too contrived and try-hard. He probably would give her a heart attack but, man, would it be a fun way to go! Definitely better than dying of smoke inhalation.

And in the name of sharing the wealthy alcoholism she slides the bottle right over to his side.] What are you talking about? You can't leave me all out on my own!

[Although it's probably better if he does refrain since she's obviously not just tumbled off her bandwagon but actively hopped out of it and flipped off the concept of Keeping Herself Together while doing so.] Also, look, cuddling really isn't so bad. That's the only part of that obvious lie that you should regret not taking seriously.

[She's definitely in the 'tipsy' range now, but there's enough sense in her that she comprehends just fine. But that floaty sense of disconnection? It's the best thing in the world right now.]

[He gets her to laugh. That's better. He likes that more than the sober heavy feelings that have been hanging over this building. He likes her laugh. He likes that she's sharing the bottle even more. He's just going to take hold of it and grin like a maniac.]

You're too right about that. No way in hell am I going to leave a pretty lady all by herself. [He was never on the wagon to begin with so he'll happily get wasted with her. It's still going to take a long time for it. The joys of being a functional alcoholic.]

Thing is, Nariko, I never feel regret for any of the shit I do. Or don't do in some cases. Life's too damn short for regrets.

[And in the spirit of no regrets, he's going to take that bottle and chug it like it's water.] God that's the stuff. you've got good taste in booze.

[Friggin' hell that's impressive. She'd had a little trouble with it herself just because, while completely open to partying, she wasn't out every single night. But Xanxus might as well have been a fish breathing it's own special brand of water. And he wasn't even a ounce as tipsy as she was! The man had skills. Questionable ones, but that's better than nothing at all.]

Alcohol and clothes! They're what I'm best at.

[She motions for him to maybe hand the bottle over so that he doesn't leave her high and dry. In reality there's more than enough in this bar that even if he took the whole bottle she could just pick something else. But that would be too easy.] I should learn to be more like you, less regretting and all that.

[Except she still didn't know what she was regretting in the first place so ... Kind of a bad game plan.]

[Don't be impressed by years of really bad habits. He's not going to be anyone's role model. If anything, he'll probably not make it to 30. But he'll have a blast seeing how long he can keep going before his vices kill him.]

You're right about that. Look great in cloths. Look really damn amazing out of them. You could be a fucking model.

[He hands it back because he's not going to bogart her alcohol. Once that bottle is gone, he'll be more than happy to grab whatever. If a quest to get drunk enough to feel it, he'll drink anything.]

Good. Then you can start now. You're not allowed to think of that bullshit anymore tonight. You only get to live in the moment, you got me?

I'd be phenomenally less interesting as one, but thank you!

[She couldn't possibly hope to put the same amount of soul into modeling but the idea had crossed her mind every so often, a fun little daydream to indulge in when the days were hard and she needed a little distraction. She'd never truly give up singing though, at least not anymore than he'd be willing to give up his bass. And once she gets the bottle in her hand again Nariko is more than happy to get back to drinking, though she doesn't chug this time. It's a longer, slower, long sip.]

I don't think you're allowed to tell me what to do unless we're in bed, Xanxus. [The words themselves were flirtatious but her delivery was far more ambiguous. Now wasn't really the time and she knew that.] But I'll take it into consideration even if there are apparently things I already regret that are difficult to avoid thinking about.

[She waves a hand, something about the motion is just ... Drunk. She's falling farther and farther into total inebriation.]

[He supposes she's right about that. He's snuck into a show before, to watch her perform. She really is something on stage. That's the sort of talent you don't waste, even for looking really fucking hot in magazine spreads.

He laughs and waits for his turn with the bottle. He knows it's just words for words sake tonight. He might be a lot of terrible things, but he won't take advantage of a drunk, emotionally vulnerable woman. Even he has lines he won't cross.] I'll keep that in mind for next time then.

[He watches her. She's definitely getting drunk but he's not going to stop her. She'll cut herself off when she's good and ready. He's not going to be the sobriety police. Instead, he'll just hold her hair if she needs to puke later on.] If you ever need reminding, you know where I am.

[He's putting a lot of trust in her self control which, by now, is entirely nonexistent. That she's drinking so heavily at all is proof of that. But if anyone can deal with her in this kind of state it's probably going to be Xanxus, so in the end it might all balance out. Still, he gets his chance while she sways a little in place, leans her body over the bar, and rests her head on her crossed arms.]

Hey.

[It's a long sound, heyyyyyy instead of one single word. Her gaze is a bit listless, and anyone could easily mistake her for being completely out of it. There's still a vestige of control in her, but she's using the illusion of total drunkness to her advantage, to say something that would be difficult to get out otherwise.]

If you do get out of here, if it's actually possible to run away you should take me with you. Go far, far away and sing and play, never stay in one place for too long. Never be found - or trapped again.

[Because that's what they are, isn't it? They're just stuck and that they choose it is only an illusion of control.] You mentioned it before and I was just, y'know, I thought 'no way am I going to be left behind!' except why would I think that? Koumei and Garnet and Yosuke and everyone are important but I still, just ....

[There's the drunk motion again, except with both hands. It looks incredibly silly even paired with her serious tone.] I dunno man, I don't want to be left behind.

[He's got a lot of faith in other's self control because he has so little himself. In fact, he's probably going to be going back behind the bar again very soon and starting on another bottle. If it's a good night, he'll have at least three in him...if it's a bad night, he'd still be there in the morning with a little monument to bad decisions and alcohol bottles and probably one step away from having to go to the hospital.]

[He watches her and can't help but put a hand on her head. It's not heavy. Just a light touch. He frowns at the request and for a moment, he feels like there's something important he should say. Something about being precisely the worst kind of person to run away with. That he's bad news and dangerous to be near... But she already knows that, or he thinks she does. Plus she's drunk, right? So he'll let it go]

Never ever be trapped again... [Eight long years. Eight years trapped in that frozen hell. Never again. Never ever again.] You know what? I'll take you. If we can get the hell out, I'll take you with me. To wherever the fuck we want to go. No rules but the ones we make. No bosses but ourselves. No one to ever lock us away again. If we run, we run together and if I have to, I'll pick your ass up and throw you over my shoulder so I don't leave you behind. You have my word on that, Nariko. Long as I'm around, you won't be left behind.

[He doesn't know if it's possible though. To run away. Especially since he's more of a fighter than a runner. He's rather stand his ground and take what he thinks he's owed than to run. But she's drunk and he's getting there far too slowly for his tastes, so he allows himself to make that promise.]

[He's the worst person to run off with, but she's not really any better. It's probably easy for him to think so but that's only proof that he's had the best parts of her so far. She hasn't been selfish or demanding or unforgiving with him and there are a lot of reasons for that, not the least of which is that, well, she'd actually like to continue this stilted, sometimes charged friendship they seem to have going. For as shitty as a person Xanxus is sometimes he's the kind of guy that helps her keep on the straight and narrow because she can't help responding too that shittiness.

It's a weird dynamic, one more active on her end, admittedly.

She loves the idea of running off to escape, but knows it won't happen. Right now it's enough that he would promise and give a drunk, very emotional young woman some comfort. She reaches up to take his hand, attempts to slide it from her head to her cheek. The heat on her skin is the telltale alcohol flush, the only sign she can have since her skin is just a tad too dark to discolor any.] Thank you.

[A pause, and then:] You're really cold!

[... If they were having a moment it might have just flown out the window there, even as she lets go of his hand, grinning a little crookedly in Xanxus' direction.] Tell me something you've always wanted to do but haven't yet.

[Honestly, she's only seen the bestish of him. He could be a lot worse, but she does bring out a better part of him. Probably because she's such a great lay when it does happen. That's all that really matters in the long run and probably why he agreed. That and she's drunk. She's so drunk and he wonders if he really will have to pick her up and carry her back.

His hand touches her face and he sort of looks off to the side when she comments on his body heat. He'd not noticed it until now. It was like he was supposed to be warmer than he was. Like he was embers and not an inferno like he was supposed to be. However, he didn't want to think about it too long. Surely, his sudden silence spoke volumes.]

Well, you're in no state to warm me up. [ He won't take advantage of her like this. Not at all. But when he hand is released he does lightly push a strand of her hair behind her ear. It's a strangely tender moment. ] Something I've wanted to do but haven't... Take over Lesedi Santiago's place. Running a music company can't be that hard. Barring that, punching her in the face. I don't appreciate being lectured to like I'm seven. Barring that...I'll let you know when I come up with something.

You don't look like you want me to! [She pouts at that but doesn't seem too broken up about that. She's a little drunk, sure, but she's not quite at the blackout levels, yet, and she still knows where all of the directions are and can ... Probably count up to one hundred! Right now that's a tad impressive for her. But, overall, the comment is innocent in and of itself and certainly the result of that little hair-tuck move. It's suave and a little endearing.

She lets herself get back on topic, though.] You didn't pick anything that I could actually surprise you with! Don't be so unfair.

[Ahh, but!] Then again it would be like you to go big or go home. I'm not sure I can manage to take over Santiago's office, though, I won't even try unless you buy me jewelry. Really gorgeous jewelry. And we don't really have that going on for us.

[Ultimately she wants to do something nice for him because he's going out of his way to be nice to her. He doesn't have to, she'd understand if he just never wanted to speak with the random girl he fucked that one time after a twitter discussion. Shit like that happens, and it's not worth losing sleep over. But he's actually managing to be comforting (which is amazing, really) and she appreciates it. So it only makes sense to want to return the favor. That he didn't intend any of this doesn't really matter - Nariko gives back what she ends up taking.]

[ She always pouts so nicely and any other time he might steal of hell of a kiss just to make her stop. Any other time. Not right now though it's damn tempting. Besides, he still has alcohol to drink and he's making quite an impressive bit of headway towards inebriation though he's nowhere near her level of intoxicated yet. ]

See, Nariko, that's just the problem. I'm always unfair. Though since I know you're trying to surprise me now... maybe a steak dinner and a lap dance, not necessarily in that order. [ He might or might not be teasing. ] You're right though. I tend to want what I can't have.

[ A shrug and a laugh because she's right. He's not really the jewelry type. He vaguely recalls owning a ring at some point. Just half of it. There was another half somewhere... who had the other half? He couldn't remember, but it seemed really important. Where had that ring gone? Last time he thought about it, it had been on a chain around his neck...

Oh well. Not important. It was probably just some trashy piece of costume jewelry anyway. ]

I can do earings for you but the rest, you'll have to get out of your adoring fans. I'm sure they'll shower you with all sorts of shiny shit if you tell them you like jewelry. Until then, I'll just be right here, waiting for my steak and lapdance and looking for the right moment to steal you and get away from this hellhole.

Probably, but I'd be taking advantage of them that way. [And with Xanxus? He probably couldn't be taken advantage of unless he allowed it in the first place so there's a serious lack of guilt in that respect. That, and she's not actually serious about any of it, and if he did buy any of it he'd probably get an incredibly unexpected reaction.] But it's funny to imagine you walking into some high class place and saying ... [What would he say?] 'I need something to buy a hot chick' and then just totally leaving it to the attendants. [Look, don't question her humor because that's really not the sort of thing that should be amusing or endearing to her and yet!]

But, hey, as long as you don't need the steak to be cooked by me, I can definitely manage that, and a complimenting bourbon to go along with it. And the lap dancing part would be easy. I'll just surprise you with both on a random day and unprecedented time!

[And if he knows what's good for him he won't assume that she's kidding. It might take a week or months but this will happen, because she owes him and because it sounds like a great way to spend a Saturday. She drapes herself over the bar again, head in her arms because she's switching between mild exhaustion and unbearable excitement. When she looks at him it's surprisingly intense, but very momentary. When she sits up her limbs drag, but she reaches over and pokes his forehead lightly, and holds the tip of her finger there.]

You and me, another life and another time. [But in this one they'd only ever be what they always were. She lifts her finger off of him.] I saw Luci a bit ago, but how is everyone else in your band doing?

[What was all that other stuff about? He won't know! But hopefully it'll be attributed to her drunken state even though she'd been in well enough control.] Also, you should be at least a third of the way as screwed up as I am or I'm going to feel lonely!

What's fame if you can't take advantage every now and then. But you have me pegged. I'd totally ask them to find something for the hottest chick I know. They probably have better taste than me. If I picked it, fuck only knows what sort of shit I'd give you. You're better off without jewelry from me.

[ There's a little laugh ] Nah. You don't have to cook it. So I guess I now have something to look forward to. [ Definitely a great way to spend a weekend. Specially with that look she gives him. Even if that look is followed by a fingertip in the middle of his forehead. He can only laugh. Another life and another time indeed. ]

As good as to be expected with this bullshit. [ A shrug because he's going to keep his promise to Luci. He's not going to tell anyone about the crap that Luci shared with him. ] We're Carnies. We thrive on crazy. I'm sure we'll have a shitton of great songs from all of this. Maybe I'll even write a song about the sexy woman at the bar.

And I know I am. I'm trying to catch up, but someone has to be able to carry you back. Let me just some rocket fuel and I'll catch right up. [ He stands and starts around the bar, his hand sliding over her shoulders as he heads around to grab the Everclear. ] Wish me luck. I'm about to make my liver hate me more than it already does.

Thank goodness, I'm a terrible cook. [As far as how things are going with his band, ahh, well, it's incredibly obvious to her that he's keeping his mouth shut for a reason. But that's band loyalty at its fiercest so she can't blame him even if it does make her worry about Luci. Who wasn't any more likely to give her a straight answer, either. The idea of trusting a bunch of emotionally questionable punk rockers to deal with anything logically is just unrealistic.

But fighting them every step of the way isn't any better. So she moves it along, and that song comment is enough to make her grin and drink even more.] Oh, please don't! It's bad enough that you and Luci already have songs on my end, you guys have made me pathetic!

[Since he's wandering his way over to his own bottle she can go back to the tequila. While she's supposed to be wishing him luck Nariko beats her own previous record. She'd showed off earlier in the night but now it's as if she's determined to get to the very bottom of the bottle. Even though she doesn't quite make it there's an obvious dent, it comes at the cost of her dignity because her throat feels raw, and she coughs a little while grinning kind of manically.]

You're gonna need luck to close in on me!

[In about, oh, five minutes, she is going to be completely hopeless.]

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