interstellar5555 | I'm Going to Stand By You

Entry tags:

I'm Going to Stand By You

Who: Usagi Tsukino and OPEN
Where: All over Vista
What: Usagi is coping as best she can
When: All week
Warnings: None I can think of

A: Even if We're Breaking Down

It had been a looooong day. Too long, honestly. She rubbed her neck as she started the trek to her last delivery, hair filled with flowers. Thankfully Mrs. Ophelia didn't play the radio, Usagi was drained enough from the music without needing to hear it everyday from work as well.

She looked at the address and swallowed. Pride Tower. She could do this, she could do this. She was Sailor Moon, and it was JUST flowers, no one knew who she really was.

"I can do this..."

She dropped her head and her shoulders drooped.

"One foot in front of the other. Come on, all you have to do is MOVE!" she insisted although, she blushed widely as the person near her suddenly turned. "I DIDN'T MEAN YOU!" she suddenly exclaimed, blushing deeply at how that must of sounded. Oh crud. "I-" she sighed. Crud crud crud.

B: We Can Find a Way to Break Through

She didn't even remember how she got up here on the little stage they had at the festival. She didn't even remember how she got to the festival except maybe she was drawn to it because of the music. The thing that woke her? Well, that she was now suddenly on a small stage for fans to karaoke the songs in-between all of the acts.

"WAH! W-W-WAIT! I C-CAN'T!" the other fans, zombie though they were, gave slow claps of encouragement. She swallowed and then suddenly saw a musician and... for whatever reason, the magic in the air, perhaps, she suddenly found herself singing, eyes locking on said musician.

"♪ Hands, put your empty hands in mine
And scars, show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine so yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you..."

C: Even if We Can't Find Heaven

She was at the beach, trying to get away from the festival for some fresh air. She felt like she couldn't breathe in the city. It wasn't her precious Earth, but she still felt awful, like a fist was around her heart and stomach. Her shoes were in her hand and she tried to take deep breaths.

She could do this, she could save them. She would save all of them with all the help she had beside her. She could do it.

Deep breaths. She pushed stray fly aways back behind her ear, but the wind was strong. Usagi was rubbing her arm and figured she should head back. Someone was heading towards her, she figured they probably were going to spend the day at the beach, or maybe a romantic sunset stroll.

"Good afternoon," she offered with a smile.

D: I'll Walk Through Hell with You

She was snooping around the festival, several bouquet of flowers in her arms. The festival meant that she had constant deliveries from fans and companies alike to send to musicians. Even though Rei had said she should quit, it allowed her such good access to the musicians. And yes, she knew that was partially the problem, but she'd do what she could where she could. However, as she was trying to find the dressing rooms, the little piece of paper that had vague directions for it and her delivery forms for access, she heard the sounds of yells and screams.

She hurried over to it in case it was another attack, or, hope against hope, it was just excited fans cheering for the next musician.

It was a mix of both, at the moment. The zombie fans were rocking the gates holding them back from the path for the musicians and the guards couldn't keep it up, not when pure madness pushed them to try and get at the musicians. Hands reached out for the musician, grabbing, clawing, trying to reach, trying to grasp tight.

She gasped and hurried over to them.

"HEY! HEY GET OFF THEM!"

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"I am he and he is ...was me," he replies, bending his head in regret. "It would be Doctor Muraki, as he was a surgeon and a skilled one - too skilled, perhaps. But... Sariel or Mister MacLeod will suffice. I'd rather continue to live as him. He might love the darkness and he might venture into it, but he keeps a lifeline back to the world of the light."

"Perhaps, though, you shouldn't be either," she offered, her voice soft but not so much so as to be drowned out by the crashing waves. "Someone not just for the light, someone not for the dark, but something in between, something more... a real combination of the you as you are now and the men you once were?" she said.

"If Sariel is a lie, and Muraki is a man you no longer wish to be, then be someone where you know the truth."

"Always a third option..." he murmurs, barely above the crash of the waves himself, his gaze dropped toward the water. "So... to create another name? Some hybrid of the better parts of the two men that I have been, perhaps?"

"Not just another name, another you. The balance between the ignorance and the knowledge, someone who knows the past but can endeavor to change. A hybrid, yes, but not just the better parts of the two men, it's easy to only pick what you want. This new person has to remember the past too, has to remember it so you can learn from it, so you can repent, even if that's what you want."

"And so start all over again, as someone who's learned from the crimes that Muraki committed, and has learned the joys of creating which MacLeod knew," he says, with a small smile, as he looks to the sunset. One day ending, and the promise of a new day on the other side of the night that follows. "I'll keep MacLeod's name: it's as good a name as any, from where I stand." He'll look to her. "What do you think?"

Her smile was bright, absorbing all the light of the fading sun and making it shine all the brighter. She nodded.

"It sounds good to me. I wish you all the luck on it, it certainly won't be easy, but you'll have support."

Edited 2016-05-26 06:34 (UTC)

He might beam himself, then drop his gaze, the sunset light catching on his pale cheeks. "Thank you... and I shall need all the luck that I can get to begin anew," he says. "I'm... glad that we had this conversation, that you were there to listen to a man who's felt like he was going mad, but who might rather be going sane. As harrowing as it's been to be Sariel, as horrible as it's been working for Pride Records... I think it was the best thing that could happen, to free me from the prison I'd put myself into by the choices I made as Muraki."

He looks to the sunset. "One day ending so another may begin... Fitting... one life is ending, so that a new one may begin."

"Always so poetic," she smiled. She then turned to gaze up at the beach, back towards the city.

"Your memories of Muraki, were they on this planet?" she suddenly asked, knowing... knowing that she was asking something very dangerous here.

"The poetry is something that both both Muraki and Sariel share, one of the better things, at least," he says, looking toward her.

"As far as I can tell, the world I came from looked somewhat like this, but... the details were different: Names of countries, names of books and movies and things like that," he says, his good eye turning thoughtful. "And on the fringes of that world was magic, beings and creatures possessed of great powers, some good, some not so good, some indifferent, some with simple skills, some with great powers.

"I... was one of them, somewhere between the poles, but not one who used his powers for good, much as he meant well..."

"You can't talk about that part of you like he's a separate person, though," she said suddenly. "You've done that several times now. You can't accept and grow from the decisions and actions he made and did if you think of him as someone else entirely. He's still you, he's still someone you were, even if you no longer want to be him. You have to say "I" no matter how painful it might be."

She rubbed her arm, cold at the moment.

"Would you go back to the world, if you were given the chance? Or... would you rather stay here? I mean, it would be as you want, rather than..." actually, she didn't know his thoughts on Santiago and Blanche, she couldn't offer him that yet.

"It's hard habit to break: sometimes ...that part of my life seems like another life entirely, or a former life in the cycle of reincarnation, if there is such a thing," he admits. He'll tilt his head at the way she rubs her arm, but says nothing to it, for the moment, anyway.

"I'm not sure that I could go back: they likely think that I'm dead there," he admits. "I can't stay here, either: after what Santiago and company have put me through, I've had enough of this world and... I'd rather not risk the public eye and their attention, what they might do to me if I tried to keep a low profile. I... have had an offer to leave for another world: a band mate of mine has had his eyes opened sooner than I has asked me if I'd be interested in going there with him."

"Easy isn't for big mistakes and life changes," she smiled gently. "It's supposed to be hard, wouldn't be worth it otherwise," she smiled.

"Even if Santiago and Blanche were no longer a problem?" she didn't know if they could travel to other worlds. Some part of her hoped so, to keep in touch with all the friends they had. But this was other dimensions as well.

"Would you rather have a completely new life?"

"One step in front of the other, slowly but surely, even if I stumble a step or two backward," he says, replying with a small smile.

"I think it might be for the best if I started over in another world: it would be easier, I think, to start over with a completely clean slate. Less chance of the paparazzi finding ways to find me when I try and start over, less chance of the tabloids trying to figure out what happened to me." But he might look a little dubious about that plan as well, the better to keep in touch with her afterward.

"How will you make amends to those Muraki has wronged, though?" she wasn't trying to make him give up a chance at a new life, but if he really had done horrible things in the past, he couldn't just run away from them, that was no better than not changing at all.

"The problem is, most of them are dead. In one case, I killed their family, what was left of it, as well, and in another case... his family was nearly as cruel as I am," he says. He breathes audibly through his nostrils. "There are... people, gods of death, actually, who were looking for me. I could face them, but I know what fate awaits me, and I'm not ready to submit to that."

"They still at least deserve a chance to move on with their lives, just like you should get a chance to move on with yours. At the very least... before you leave for another world, I think you should try and make amends, Sariel. They have that right. They don't have to forgive you, but you need to let them know that you've changed and you regret what you did. Or you're not changing, you're merely being selfish in a different way."

He shakes his head wearily, almost haggardly. "If I go back to my world, those death gods will end me, and I can't afford that. Or if they don't end me, they'll end my freedom ...which would be a worse fate, I believe."

At least he didn't say he wouldn't or couldn't go back...

Edited 2016-06-01 03:59 (UTC)

"They deserve something, Sariel. Because being a new person doesn't mean forgetting those who were hurt by what you used to be. You should at least try and think of something besides your own guilt, that still means you are thinking only of yourself and you're trying to be more than that."

"It's hard to see past the guilt, when the crimes you've committed seem to loom so large in your memory," he replies, running his hand through his hair, kneading his scalp with his fingertips. He seems wrung out by all of this and it may be affecting his chain of thought.

Edited 2016-06-03 06:05 (UTC)

"I know," she smiled. Sometimes Chibiusa still had nightmares about being Wicked Lady, and she knew that Galaxia, would remember everything as well, having been reborn and knowing everything she did. She came over to him and took his other hand.

"But that's what it means to redeem yourself, to remake yourself."

He'll press her hand gently, but there might be a quiver of quiet desperation in his gesture. "In that case... it would seem it's in the cards for me to return to my world and face the charges," he admits.

"It... doesn't have to be permanent, though. Why not ask if you can make your apologies and then be taken to another world? Our paths have already changed so much, why couldn't this be something else too?"

"Try convincing the Ministry of Hades to accept my repentance and let me start anew," he says, darkly, but a smile might cross his face as he looks back to her. "But if anyone can convince them, it might be you."

"Me?" she turned to look at him. "Why me?" though she knew she probably could, if she tried hard enough. She would have to visit a lot of places to explain, and she would, if asked. She wouldn't let any of these people deal with the fallout alone.

He'll give her a smile of reassurance. "You have a way about you, that enables you to dig past people's inhibitions and mental blocks," he says. "You got around mine, and got me to accept who I really am. Who's to say you couldn't work the same miracle with some gods of death.

"They used to be human, most of them: that gives you a place to start, if you choose to address them."

I'm Going to Stand By You

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