interstellar5555 | 006 ┼ I'm Finding Me Out, I'm Having My Doubts, I'm Losing the Best of Me

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006 ┼ I'm Finding Me Out, I'm Having My Doubts, I'm Losing the Best of Me

Who: Luci & YOU
What: You know what sucks? Everything about the last festival-- especially all the chaos and running. You know what's probably a good idea? Ignoring all of that and having a party. On a yacht.
When: May 20th
Where: The bay outside Vista City
Warnings: ~~IT'S A CARNIVAL CRUISE...!~~

((Luci just got a strange pay bump and she's using it to regroup after the intense clusterfuck at the last festival-- she's still not sure exactly what happened there, but even though it's probably significant, she'd rather celebrate like one usually does after a lot of work. By renting a yacht for a night. Like people usually do.))

((It's a nice boat. Plenty of food, a couple of bartenders, fire pits, couches, swimsuits for those who need, and music of course. The party is, of course, invite only to keep the paparazzi and gatecrashers and people looking to turn this into a work-venture out, but Luci's given the bouncer clearance to let friends of guests and anybody who seems interesting in-- she knows Luci's type.))

((Try not to get too blitzed and fall overboard!))

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[He looks up at her and then away, quietly contrite.]

I know. I'm sorry.

I hope so, because it really sucks to feel like you were one-time-use and then discarded for something more 'relationship material'. [Luci drags on the cigarette hard before flicking it out into the water.] I don't think even I deserved that.

[He looks back up, brow furrowing indignantly for a split second - hadn't she blown him off after he'd told her he couldn't fool around that one time? - but it's there and gone, replaced by something more pensive and genuinely concerned.]

No, you didn't. [He falls silent for a moment or two, trying to find the right words.] I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I never meant to treat you like you weren't important.

[Yes, she absolutely did. But she's ignoring that right now because hey, she apologized! That's good enough, right?]

[She eyes him for a tense few moments, as though deciding if she's going to be angry or not. In the end, she knows she's just too tired for it.]

...I heard about Sora. I'm sorry.

[Jamie watches her right back, though his demeanor is far more stoic; he's willing to accept that maybe he fucked up and deserves to have Luci push him away and be upset with him. He's relieved, though, when she doesn't seem intent on holding a grudge; he might feel less so if he knew that she just didn't have the energy for it, but for now he'll be blissfully ignorant.]

Thanks. Me too.

[He attempts a half-smile that rapidly goes all watery and averts his gaze again, looking out across the bay. Luci doesn't need or want to see him being a baby about his not-dead boyfriend, after all.]

Last couple of months've been rough on everybody, I think.

Shut up. [Luci opens her arms and drags him into her chest. She wasn't about to hear any of this 'I'm sure everybody else has it harder' bullshit.]

I don't want to hear that. It's a cover for what's actually happening.

[He's startled by the move at first and tenses up for a second, but then he relaxes into the embrace, resting his head on her chest and looping his arms loosely around her waist. There's nothing sensual about it; he's simply taking comfort from her warmth and proximity and hoping that she's taking some as well, if she needs it.]

[At her assessment, he huffs a humorless laugh.]

It's going around, I guess. Sometimes it helps to cover up and pretend nothing's going on.

It's all we've got now, seems like. The choice to freak the fuck out, or pretend it's business as usual.

[She pulls away and combs her fingers through Jamie's hair at the top of his head, trying to get him to look at her.] You're a good one, Jamie. Sora wouldn't have wanted you to stay here if you felt it was wrong.

[Oh no a compliment. Jamie still doesn't really know how to respond to something like this other than get sort of emotional and duck his head in an effort to hide it.]

Yeah, I - I know he wouldn't. He wouldn'a wanted anybody to stay.

[A lot of things run through his mind then - about their chances of actually escaping Pride, Rei and the rest of her band getting away from Virgo, her insistence that there were people coming to help. Mostly, though, he thinks about Sora and all the other missing musicians being held somewhere in HQ, helpless and at Lesedi's mercy and possibly in pain. Which only makes him more emotional, but then again that's not really hard to accomplish these days.]

I wanna - I wanna help him. Do something to get him out of wherever the fuck it is she's got him.

...and you can only do that from the inside, right?

[She pushes him back, putting his face firmly between her hands so he can't duck his head and hide from her again.]

This is some serious shit, Jamie. Lesedi is putting her arm through people who piss her off, and she's screwing me on the regular which means she's stressed. Are you ready to face all of that for his sake, even if he's already gone? I'm only asking the uncomfortable questions to make sure somebody is.

[Yes well that's a very good question, but Luci mentioned something else that has Jamie's attention.]

Screwing - screwing you? Like, actually, really -

[Unlike most teenage boys inquiring about the sexual activities of two hot women ~~or whatever the fuck Lesedi is~~, Jamie is not the least bit titillated. He is straight-up horrified. Lesedi is horrifying. The thought of her Doing Things to people he cares about is horrifying. Holy shit.]

[Luci frowns down at Jamie, her eyebrows coming together in confusion. She thought he'd picked up on what had happened to her last time they spoke, what with the limping and all that, but maybe they'd cut too fast to Jamie's happy and exclusive relationship. After a moment, she sighs and looks away.]

Xanxus was dying after that party, I had to do something.

[Jamie's expressions cycle through puzzlement to comprehension to something like sorrow.]

She's been - doing that to you all this time?

[He reaches to put a hand on her arm, a helpless, tentative gesture whose purpose even he's not really sure of.] I'm sorry, Luci. I'm so sorry.

Don't. [She puts her fingers over Jamie's mouth before he can go on any more about the whole fucked up situation. Luci doesn't want to hear platitudes or pity, there's nothing anyone can do so there's no point.]

I don't want to talk about it, there's nothing to tell aside from what I just said, and if you start spouting garbage about making her pay I'll knock you one right in the back of the neck. Got it?

[Jamie ducks his head away again, looking frustrated.] I wasn't gonna suggest anything like that, I know we can't just go up to her and start punching at her or whatever. But, I mean -

[He trails off briefly, clenching and unclenching his fists as he tries to frame his thoughts.] She's using the fired people for something, like batteries. For that - whatever it was that got started last week with that concert. I thought maybe if we could get 'em out of there, it'd do something to put a dent in her plans, y'know?

[Also something something boyfriend, he's not going to pretend that's not also an important factor here.]

...batteries? [Luci gives Jamie an incredulous look. That's a highly disturbing image, but she can't say that it's surprising. Nothing is surprising these days, she's seen some serious shit.]

Wait, do you know where they're being kept?

[Alec, and Wakana, and Fetch, and Poe...]

Yeah, like - she's using their souls to power something. One of the ghosts told me. It's called energy conversion, that's what happens to all the people who get "fired." But I don't know where they are. I don't think anybody does. The ghosts don't even know.

[He looks and sounds frustrated, almost frantic.]

If I had some way of figuring it out, then I could - I can do things now, I could do something to get 'em out, at least some of 'em. I hate just sitting here while she's - doing whatever it is she's doing, hurting 'em or... [He trails off with an angry, hopeless noise.]

Jamie, listen-- [Luci grabs him by his shoulders and shakes him once, just to make sure he's focused on what she's saying.] Whatever you can do, you're not going to take her down. You're not going to kick the door in and rescue everyone. Not yet. You go off half-cocked and you'll get yourself killed. I can't protect everyone.

I know that! I'm not stupid! I just -

[He tenses up, almost as though he's a hair's breadth from exploding, and then slumps down in her grip.]

I just - I want to do something to help. Even if I could only get one of those people away from her, even if I can't do anything for Sora -

[And here he has to look away again, because once more he's getting stupidly emotional. He's frustrated and embarrassed and still hurting, none of which are things he deals with very well, so his impulse is still to try to hide them and hope nobody notices.]

...You're a good one, Jamie. [Luci gathers him back up and holds him to her, resting her cheek in his hair.] That's what I love about you-- you just can't think of your fucking self even when your life's on the line.

I'm going to try to help you, okay? There's a lot of talk, people trying to get out, but I'm staying here. If you want to get Sora away from her, I'll do everything I can to help.

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006 ┼ I'm Finding Me Out, I'm Having My Doubts, I'm Losing the Best of Me

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