interstellar5555 | All By Myself

Entry tags:

All By Myself

Who: Garnet, OPEN
Where: Moscow, June 18th; on the road, the rest of the week
What: Several of Garnet's friends have disappeared, and Garnet is now a solo act. She's not taking it well.
When: June 18th-26th
Warnings: Some violence and paranoia

I read the news today oh boy (Pride)

[Garnet had enjoyed herself last night. She really had. Watching Terry jam, and then, as the band played, Terry excused himself for a smoke. She smiled at him, and waved goodbye to him. She'd see him after he was done, she knew that.

Only that never happened. She saw security start to prowl the area, and then she went to bed. Terry never returned. Garnet woke up and went to breakfast, her worry increasing. No Terry. No Tooru.

Half of Pride's members were gone. Her heart was already pounding, her mind already racing, the fear plunging into her heart, when she saw the morning papers.

Defying Atmosphere. Greg's band. Gone, too. Like Terry.

Dead.

Her agent had come in and made a...remark about Greg. How it was good that the long-haired moron was...well, he never got to finish the snarky comment. She was throwing things and screaming at him.]

SHUT UP!! SHUT!! UP!! YOU WILL NEVER! EVER! DISRESPECT HIM! IN MY PRESENCE!! EVER!! AGAIN!!

[The screaming, followed by the sounds of things being thrown, can be heard in the hallway of the hotel. Her agent is not an idiot - regardless of the smirk still on his face - and he excuses himself from the room. Its a petty temper tantrum over her breakfast, he tells passers. Its common with these big-name stars. You get used to it.]

You left me standing here (Moscow, OTA)

[Before they left Moscow, Lesedi had Garnet do a press conference. She held her hand, on and off, through the proceedings. As if to say to the world, we're strong. We're friends. We're still standing.

Terrance Ward left Cosmic Indulgence over stress and creative differences. With that, Garnet said - from prepared notes, of course - Cosmic Indulgence's destiny had flown into the stars. She was now fully a solo act, and all branding would reflect this effective immediately. She was also working on an album, her solo album, which would be released after...after the tour.

...

She'd remember him, and all of her bandmates fondly. She'd never forget what they did for her. And she hoped that wherever they were...she...she...

she couldn't finish. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and Lesedi gave her a pat before finishing for her. The departures clearly hit Garnet. Meanwhile, Lesedi's pat on her back was like cold steel hitting her skin.

She signs autographs, after the conference, on exclusive photos made for the occasion. No longer are they band pictures, but solo images. She hears from fans how CI merchandise is skyrocketing in value on WCove. She is congratulated by a member of her fan club for "beating" Defying Atmopshere.

She says nothing. Her jaw simply clenches, tightens, as she signs autographs. She'll talk, of course. But even beneath her shades, there's an emptiness in her eyes that simply won't die.]

Do you eat sleep do you breathe deep (On the Road, Pride/OTA)

[She doesn't sleep. She can't now. How can she? Not since Moscow. If she sleeps, she may not wake up. Or worse, others will be gone before she can say goodbye.

The stress and insomnia is showing as she walks around at this newest bus stop. The sack under her eyes are prominent, even with makeup on. Her breathing is a bit more rasping and catching, and her hands shakier. Even her famous poise can't hide that she is just barely holding it together.

She just wishes she can fall apart. She knows she can't. Not as long as Steven lives. She needs to be his rock. She needs to protect him. There's no one else now, but her. As long as she can, as long as Steven is alive, she'll do this.

Until the day he disappears for good. Nothing is stopping Lesedi, in truth, is it? When will Steven's end come? Will she even realize it, like she does now, or will it be like Koumei's death?

After that?

Then what?

Then what?]

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[Garnet screaming is the first Steven hears of it. He'd been locked up since the night before. Pinkie was gone. Trucy was gone. Even Jin was gone, for all it mattered. Everyone was gone, and he was alone, and trapped, and afraid. Connie was gone, too. He didn't know if he'd ever see her or any of the others that had come for him again.

For the longest time he hadn't understood what had happened the night before. He didn't party much at these things, he was too young. He didn't want to drink anymore. The others had simply never returned to their room after the festivities ended, and the rest of the night was spent piecing together the events from the outside.

He was questioned by security multiple times, into the far hours or the morning. He was almost certain that punishment would be soon to come, but...

Then, there was nothing but silence.

It isn't until now, finally being escorted from his room by a group of security, that he hears it. Meanings of Defying Gravity alongside those that had vanished from Pride. Mentions of the words 'accident' and 'death.'

And he hears Garnet screaming. She never yells like that. As he agent passes by and tries to explain what they just heard, Steven goes running for the door.]

Garnet?!

[He pounds against the door, tears forming in his eyes. It can't be. He doesn't understand. One of the security team pulls at his shoulder trying to get him to leave.]

No! Leave me alone! Garnet!

[At first, security doesn't listen. Why would they? Steven is barely a blip. A practical non-entity. No one really knows why Lesedi keeps him. He's not really a thing as far as they're concerned.

Garnet's agent, however, steps in.]

Let him go in. Its...fine.

[That smirk just doesn't leave the agent's face as he opens the door for Steven. Indeed it widens as he reveals a very nice suite. Practically the best in the hotel, with a fireplace in the living room, crystal china, gold inlaid in the wood and walls, the works. A room that costs upwards of five digits to even get a peek into, much less stay in.

That crystal china is smashing against the wall and into the fireplace. Picture frames with expensive paintings are being ripped off the walls and slammed against the floor until they break and rip. Furniture is upturned and pillows are being de-feathered. And in the middle of it all is Garnet, letting out primal screams of what can only be described as unadulterated, raging grief.

Say hello, Tiger.]

[They close the door behind him, because presumably they have better things to do with their time than be involved in all of this. This whole area is already being watches so thickly, there's not a single exit they could squeeze through unseen. Even so, this interior world is now their business.

The privilege that comes with being Garnet.

At first Steven just stands there. He doesn't know what to say - something about Garnet's fury terrifies him. It shouldn't be like this. He doesn't remember a lot, but he remembers her always being so together. It's like everything is falling apart.]

Garnet?

[It comes out soft and high pitched, a little squeak that barely makes it out of his throat.]

[Everything. Everything is falling apart. Greg. Terry. Koumei. All for nothing, all--

She hears a voice. Her arm, holding a very large glass bottle, stops mid-air. She doesn't have the best hearing. Maybe she's hallucinating. Maybe this is all a bad dream and she'll wake up.

She turns.]

...Steven?

[Whe--when did he get in here!? Oh god. What did he see? What did he hear? Was he frightened of her, now? He looked...terrified...

She drops the bottle.]

Oh god.

[He tries really hard to keep steady, wanting to be strong for her the same way that she wants to hide this from him, but he can't do it. He's already sniffling as he tries to speak to her.]

Garnet, what... what happened I didn't...

I don't know what happened.

...Steven...

[She...she messed up, didn't she? He shouldn't have had to have seen this, This...she...this isn't how she'd wanted any of this to happen. Not even close.

She doesn't even realize that she's dropped to her knees as she's thinking this, her own face streaked with tears as she just continues to stare at Steven with wide. horrified eyes. She...she's really letting him down. Letting everyone down.

No one's left but her.]

I-I'm...so sorry...!

[He comes forward a few steps, uncertain. He wishes she wouldn't apologize. He feels like he's reeling, and all he wants at the moment is for the ground to stop moving.]

...What did they say about my dad?

[She can do this. Just be the stoic Dr. G, be upfront, be calm. Tell him simply, bluntly. But at the same time be...com...c.......

She slowly looks away, her shoulders slumping. Its not Steven. She just can't muster the strength to even pretend she's at all ok with any of this. Its so shameful, that she can't be strong for this very moment, the kind of moment she's been preparing for, for Steven's sake. Her words come out, shaking, empty.]

...Your father's dead.

[She doesn't say how. She doesn't really need to. The details don't matter, because those parts can be made up. ~~Papers said a drug-fueled rampage by Greg, followed by the bus losing control, even as Reimu bravely tried to steer away from the cliff-~~ They would never know how, not exactly. Garnet had a far better idea than Steven did, how it went and even she wasn't totally sure. That the soul is still around somehow, but...also not.

Maybe it was better that way to not know just how terrible the end really is while they still live. She lets out a strangled sob.]

he's...he's dead. him and...and others...the others, they...last night...

Edited 2016-06-23 01:00 (UTC)

No...

[That's all he can say at first, after a long moment staring. It comes out in a pitiful whine.]

No he's not. That's not true. They're lying...

[His fists are balled, and his posture defensive and scared.]

Steven....I...I don't want to believe it, either.

[She slowly brings her hand towards Steven, then...hesitates. Does he even want the comfort? Does she deserve to try an comfort him? She's failing at it, either way.]

...I don't...I don't see him, Steven. I don't...see him...

[Its true. She can't see that young wizard she'd last seen at the pool, in the future. No possibilities of his father. Nothing.]

I'd never lie to you, Ste...Steven...

[She starts to choke again.]

H-he...oh god, Steven!

[He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around himself. He just keeps saying the same thing, because it's all he can think. It's the only answer that's acceptable.]

No, he's not. He's not.

[The tears are getting thicker and it's getting hard to breathe.]

I wanna talk to him.

...I''m sorry...I'm sorry...

[Oh god, Steven. She can't handle this. She...she goes for her phone...his number...did she have his number? Wait, she had to. It--

This number is not in service. Please hang up and try again.

Again. Again. Again. Please. Prove her wrong. Prove Steven right. Again and again and aga-

She lost count by the time she threw the phone, into the wall, with a hysterical scream and a SHUT UP. It hit, then clattered to the floor, some nice cracks on the interface pane forming as a result.]

[Steven just tries to block it out as Garnet dials and dials, hoping that somehow one of those attempts will eventually prove him right. It doesn't happen, and every passing dial makes it seem more and more obvious that it's not going to. She said she couldn't see Greg at all.

Then her anger. It sets off a reactionary flinch in him, and he sinks to the flood, burying his head under his arms and behind his knees like he's scared the anger will be turned on him.

He thinks of the phone that Lapis gave him, still stashed in his room. Greg probably didn't even keep his. Not after all the things he said about trying to keep them apart. And it didn't even help. It didn't do anything.

He doesn't want to talk anymore. He just stays there on the floor and shakes.]

[Garnet almost immediately regretted doing that. She sees the flinch, sees him cower. Idiot. Idiot. How could she just not keep it together? How could she lose it, and scare Steven, after everything--

She starts to sob, the sounds getting closer as she drags herself over to him. Her hand tries to go to his head, to try and...she doesn't even know what. Does she even deserve to do this, in any case? ]

Steven...I didn't...

[He doesn't look up, but he'll let her touch him. He's never felt this bad before. Maybe not even when they punished them. Not even when they tied him down and hurt him. Not even then. He can't even function right.]

He can't be. [He can barely making it out.] I have to find him.

[So full of hope. Even now, with the writing on the wall.

She starts to draw him in, because...because what else can she do? She's little more than Lesedi's plaything. And Steven is the only person left to her, now. From their world, from her band. He's all she's got to hold onto. She doesn't believe Greg's alive. Terry's either. They're gone.

All they have is each other.]

[He clings to her desperately, the moment she makes it clear that's what she's going for. The holds onto her chest and doesn't let her go, shaking all over and struggling to breathe regularly. He feels like he's panicking, like everything is closing in around them. It's so overwhelming, he can't think straight, and he feels like he's going to throw up and pass out all at once.

There's the soft glow of his gem from beneath his shirt, and then a pink bubble appears around the two of them - a shield from the world outside. There may not be an immediate threat set to attach, but with how things are closing in... he's a frightened child, and as far as he knows this bubble may be the only safe place in the world.]

Shh, I...I'm here...I'm...

[Really. Who is she really trying to make feel better at this point? Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe this is fine. She holds him, leaning into him, trying to give her his warmth, as if it would help.

Maybe it does.

Probably not.

What choice did she have?]

[Garnet looks terrible.]

[He can't exactly blame her, after the shit that went down in Moscow - he's pretty wrecked about Terry being gone, himself, so he can imagine how Garnet's feeling: not knowing if he's alive or dead, or stuck in Lesedi's torture dungeon, or being used as a soul battery like so many others. The uncertainty is crushing.]

[Jamie sidles up to her during her aimless wandering, just falling into step alongside her for a few moments before speaking.]

...hey. Garnet? How're you holding up?...

[Garnet nearly jumps at the sound. Oh the sound. Is it Lesedi? Or--oh. Its...its just Jamie. She turns to him, tense, before the tenseness slowly - slowly - dissipates.

Its hard not to be tense on a lack of sleep.]

Oh. Hi, Jamie. I'm absolutely...I'm fine, completely. Fine. Thank you.

How about you?

[How is she making syllables at this point? Its a miracle.]

[Jamie shrinks back a little at her obvious alarm, less out of fear than a desire to present himself as non-threatening. Well, and maybe a little fear. He doesn't want to startle Garnet into smacking him or something.]

You're - look, I don't think you're fine. You wanna go get a coffee, or something?

[She looks like the last thing she needs is more caffeine, but maybe it will help if he can convince her to sit and try to relax a little.]

...Yeah. Yeah, coffee.

[Nod nod...nod. Nod.]

I'll absolutely be fine. Why do you think I won't be?

[How to politely say "Because I know about fucking emotional trainwrecks, and I am looking at one right now."]

Look, I... [He shuffles a little, because this is upsetting and difficult to talk about.] I know what it's like to just - want to pretend nothing's going on when something happens. And - I dunno, I'm just guessing it's hard to be the. The only one left in your band.

[He's not going to cop to how much he misses Terry too because fucking emotions, how do they work. Jamie goes silent and makes some fidgety, shrugging motions.] ...I mean. I don't know if it helps, but there it is.

[Her breath hitches, at this.]

No, you don't know what its like. You...you really don't.

[Its not you, Jamie. Even if she seems angry at you even beneath the shaky exterior. Its nit you.]

Don't go solo, whatever you do.

[Going solo? Is that what this is all about? Garnet needn't worry about that for Jamie, then - though the warning does make him think of Maxxie with considerable concern.]

[He is dismayed, however, at her apparent upset.]

No, I - I get it. I mean - look, when they took Yosuke, and - and...

[...and Sora, he wants to say, but the words won't come. He falls silent, insecurity asserting itself with an intensity he hasn't felt in what seems like a long time. Maybe he doesn't understand what she's feeling. He's just a dumb kid, what does he know, anyway?]

[It's another moment or two before he speaks again, quietly.]

...I'm sorry. I'm sorry they're all gone.

[She turns back away from Jamie.]

You still have your band. Protect them, while you can, Jamie. They won't be around forever. Do you understand?

[Further rebuffed, Jamie shrinks away, pulling into himself in quiet, miserable frustration.]

I know. I will.

[He doesn't harbor any more delusions that B and Max and everyone else he cares about won't be taken from him, one way or another.]

[Everyone leaves eventually.]

...I'm sorry.

[What else can she say? How else can she put it?]

[This seems like a delicate time.

Now that so many of the musicians are with them, Frisk worries for the ones left behind. They haven't got the friends who helped them get through it anymore; they're just trapped. Not for very long, if things keep going like they are, but do they know that rescue is coming? Do they even know what really happened to the others? They're not sure. All the musicians they ever talked to - the ones who weren't fired - are on the ship now.

But it seems safe enough to go to the autograph signing. They haven't been to one for a long time, and none of the people who saw them and Papyrus stealing soul crystals are there. Garnet doesn't know the truth. Either that or Lesedi just scares her enough to make her cry. Which is very possible.

Telling her the truth definitely does not seem safe at all, but they hide amongst some square-haired fangirls until Lesedi's gone and then slink with them into the signing line.

When they get to the front, they stretch up to offer Garnet a much smaller picture of herself than the fangirls had. They thought buying one was good for camouflage. Bad enough that they're young, not square, and don't seem particularly enthused about being here; they can't walk up empty-handed.]

Hi.

Hello.

[Most people don't even notice the tenseness, the emptiness, the...despair. That's the only way it can be described. That's all there is.]

And what's your name?

Sam.

[That's their fake name, and it suits their purposes well enough. Nicely gender-neutral - they appreciate that thoughtfulness on Shep's part. They tilt their head up at Garnet, watching her face rather than the signing

They so wish they could say "everything will be okay". Or maybe "they're safe with us". But there's security here, more than they remember at previous signings. They're afraid of screwing things up so close to the end. Their hand goes to the gold chain around their neck for a moment.]

I'm sorry about what happened.

.....Thank you.

[She starts to sign. To Sam...]

Its no one's fault. Bands break up all the time. I wish Terry all the best, and...I'm sure he knows that.

[Not that it matters, given what's probably happened to him.]

He does.

[Frisk sounds quite self-assured. Reaching down, they tug loose the worn red ribbon tied about their wrist, then hold it out to Garnet. They wish they could give her more, but anything really helpful seems like it'd be noticed.]

Here. It's good luck.

[She stares down at the ribbon, confused. What is this? Good luck? Can this faded old thing really help her? It can't get any of her bandmates back, she knows that.

Even if this child, this innocent child, seems to know nothing of how the business really works.]

...Thank you...Sam.

[That didn't help any. Frisk supposes they shouldn't have thought it might. It was a quirk of their own thoughts that made them latch onto the thing in the Ruins, and the history it carries now is only known by them.

Well. Better to have done something. If nothing else she may remember them when they meet again.

The child tilts their head, fixing Garnet with a rather thoughtful look for a moment longer. Then they take the poster without looking at it.

Okay. We'll see you soon.

[And it isn't really obvious who "we" might mean.]

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All By Myself

I read the news today...

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on the roooooad

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moscow

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