interstellar5555 | I feel so unsure

[It was impossible not to notice the casualties from that party, and equally impossible not to have worry quickening his heart and urging him to move despite the discomfort every step brought. Though Koumei's injuries weren't nearly as severe as many others, they were still bad enough to warrant orders to sleep and take it easy for a while due to blood loss and physical damage.

While Koumei wanted to do nothing more than sleep, rest wasn't something that was easily had with Nariko and Garnet hovering around.

Thus was why he slipped into MANTICORE's den without warning, quietly snapping the door shut behind him, and offering a tired smile when he found Squalo sprawled out on the sofa.

The cellist was the main reason he had come-- some peace and quiet was just a nice side benefit of the venture.]

That...looks really comfortable, [he said, easing himself back onto the cushions of the giant pillow fort without invitation.

They had seen eachother naked. What more invite was needed?]

[ He looks relatively well, at least for someone who was basically dead a couple days ago. He's in a bit of a disarray, though, or maybe just hungover. Might've not brushed his hair this morning. You know, the typical "been hitting booze and/or drugs pretty damn hard" look. ]

[ And hey damn it. Boning didn't equal automatic invitation to everything! ]

Where'd you come from?

[ He prods Koumei with his foot half-heartedly as the other man settles into his blanket and cushion pile, but he's not actually stopping him. A bit of new company is nice. Not that he's not pleased having his band around, but Genos was the only one as deep in this shit as him, and he was being... a bit too calm for his tastes recently. Like a goddamn robot. ]

--Careful, [Koumei said quickly, holding out a hand to block the half-hearted little kick before it hit something delicate. Though the worst of his injuries had been healed somehow, he had still required stitches and his entire side ached with every movement.

And he had gotten lucky.

Scooting a little closer, Koumei absently rubbed Squalo's leg while he settled into the cushings and leaned his head back.]

Your door was open, [he explained, with an embarrassed little smile,] And I needed to get out of my place for a while. Hope you don't mind?

[Because he was staying even if Squalo did mind. Boning was totally open invitation to randomly crash.]

[ He pauses and withdraws his foot. ]

...sorry.

[ HOLY FUCKING BATMAN WHAT DID THE EXECS DID TO HIM he actually apologized like a proper human being. Scandalous. Unusual. ]

[ But hey, he knows what it's like to fucking bleed every time you move, even if he's gotten better by now. He's not feeling spirited enough to argue either, and just sinks deeper into the pillows. ]

Nah. Make yourself at home.

[ He shifts his attention back to the screen where E*io has just been shanked by some random guard passing by, and spams "counter". It's hard to say if he's upset or just bored, but it doesn't look like he intends to bring it up. For now, at least. ]

[Silence was okay-- Koumei was out of it himself, distracted by the hazy events of that night and the massive puzzle that was slowly starting to come to light.

They could talk when it was more comfortable, perhaps after their wounds had started to scar over and their memories started to fog over with time, drugs, and sleep deprivation.]

Thanks, [he murmured, kicking his feet up on the coffee table to better maximize his lounging comfort while being mindful of both of their injuries.]

...Hey, do you need a hand? Button mashing isn't going to cut it here.

[ Squalo doesn't really notice the puzzle yet. He's probably too new here, the change still too fresh and having too firm a grip on him. But if anything made him doubt the sanity of show biz, it's definitely recent events. Between the murder party and their own label holding Xanxus hostage... it's unsettling. And then he knows he's supposed to be fucking dead, and he doesn't want to be. He's only 22. He doesn't want to die. If that means sticking by the crazy execs, then so fucking be it. ]

[ He shifts the controller a bit. ]

Only if you want to play. They die like paper. [ pause ] Besides, I can move my fingers.

[ He wiggles the thumb of his bandaged hand a bit. And sort of laughs while staring at it. A short, sharp sound, somehow a bit unnatural. You'd think it's fucking hilarious that he can move them. ]

[Koumei took the controller wordlessly, meshing into the familiar commands of the A**a**in* C***d game although he hadn't picked up his own in months. The stabs and parries flew with a touch of his fingers-- a pianist's touch, and a gamer's.

Above all, he also wanted to forget. He was only 27.

He didn't wish to be dead.]

It's more than just fingers, [he commented mildly as he relentlessly gutted the computer controlled foe.] It's connective tissue. It's nerves.

...Your reactions seem a little slow.

[And Koumei's own expression was too neutral for a gamer who was still coming down off of a literal battle high...and who was facing an incoming horde with barely a show of annoyance.]

[ They're nice fingers. He knows this first-hand. Squalo leans back, his eyes narrowings lightly as he enjoys the animations. There's something magical about how a sword slashes a detailed model's throat. He'll make a sound of disapproval if Mei decides to change into the hidden blade. ]

[ That weird smirk is still on his face, though. Mildly deranged, almost. ]

Makes sense. Wanna know why? [ He holds up the bandaged hand, outstretching his fingers, and grins at Mei, eyes wide. ] I don't have this hand.

[ The weird expression fades, and he almost looks vaguely surprised he just said it. It doesn't feel wrong, though. He's been feeling this for weeks now. It just happened to really get put into exact words just now. ]

[The proud, defiant declaration threw Koumei's game. He didn't bother hitting the pause button when he looked over at Squalo with his surprise evident in his expression, and remained oblivious as the player character was summarily gutted on the scene.

That wild gleam in Squalo's eyes was strangely familiar-- but, he recalled it belonging to someone very different.

Setting the control down, Koumei reached for the displayed hand and held it gently between his own, poking and prodding at the bandages while he collected his thoughts.]

...You're seeing things, [He said finally, not even bothering to ask.] Things that don't seem right, but somehow are. And, you're probably asking yourself....which is a lie and which is reality? Has the lie been pushed so heavily that it is reality?

[ It's a shame they don't make the player death as gruesome, really. A bit of blood on the walls never hurt anyone, right? For a moment he's tense when the other man touches him - almost like a hound that's smelled blood, ready to leap, and there's something feral in the way he bares his teeth - but it's gone in a moment. All that's left is a confused cellist that looks... almost a little scared, or maybe just bewildered. ]

[ His eyes narrow in suspicion a moment after. ]

How do you know?

[ Yes. Yes, he's been seeing things. ]

Because others have been too-- across Pride and Virgo.

[He kept holding that hand while he mused, putting various pieces in place. His eyes were only on Squalo, not the game or anything else in the room.]

It's been happening for a couple of months, and none of us can explain what's happening. But, since a few people disappeared because of acting oddly, those of us who've found each other have agreed to just play it quietly.

It's....safer for everyone.

[ He stares at him for a moment. He sort of wants to draw that hand back like an injured animal, but something about sensing another human being is very grounding right now. ]

[ Instead, he leans his head back against the backrest of the sofa and puts his right hand on his face. ]

I know. I know. I didn't mean to say that. Not here, not to you, just...

[ He traces off, keeping still. It's just so frustrating. ]

[ And he's dead. ]

[ ...wait a minute. ]

People disappeared?

Edited 2015-12-15 19:56 (UTC)

For a few days. They were brought back, but most refused to talk about it.

[He sighed and glanced away for a moment, brows furrowed with concern.]

And the only one I did manage to get some information out of was someone in Virgo. He informed me that he was diagnosed with a medical condition and needed immediate surgery-- they did something to his brain, although neither of us know what.

[Settling his gaze back on Squalo, there was no hiding his weariness and exhaustion this time. Too much had happened in too short a period, and everyone's nerves were wearing thin.]

Don't worry about talking. It's not the first time someone's told me something uncomfortable since this all started. Some people affected by...whatever this is are visibly falling apart at the seams.

[Like Garnet, the strong Keytar Mom of Cosmic Indulgence. As circumstances stood, Koumei didn't feel comfortable burdening her with his own concerns when she was speaking with plural pronouns and acting as if she were literally from a different planet.]

It's been mostly in dreams, for me, [Koumei added at length, not letting go of that hand at all.] Except for a few instances...like one time when I was on stage, and the other night at the party.

...I think I'm in the military, as some sort of strategist. At least, that's the point of view those dreams are told from.

Hmm.

[ That's... unsettling, to say the least, but he can't help but try to pick at it. ]

Think that's what happened to Xanxus?

[ He also disappeared, though for an entirely different reason, looks like. But it was hard to miss his return, all stitched and bruised and with a motherfucking bitch brand. ]

[ He almost looks displeased when the topic shifts on him again. ]

I'm not "falling apart". I just... need a--. [ He runs a hand through his hair. Once, twice. Something solid, he needs something solid that he knows is real and could hold onto. ] An anchor.

[ He gently tugs his hand in an attempt to get it free, but if Mei's still not letting go, he's going to turn it over and squeeze his instead. ]

Military, huh? You've gotta be pretty damn smart.

You tell me. I didn't go to college.

[He shrugged, unwilling to commit and believe such a strange situation so readily. There were still too many holes, and word was out on whether or not this was a medical condition like Yan had warned him about...]

I'm not sure what happened to Xanxus-- but I know it wasn't that. The people who went AWOL didn't come back roughed up like he did. That's a separate matter entirely.

[One he didn't like at all. The most disturbing part of it was the fact that Ms. Santiago didn't seem to care either.]

....We all need an anchor right now, Squalo. This whole thing...it's exhausting.

Voooii, smarts aren't measured by education.

[ Genos seemed to think that those strange situations were where they were meant to be. Then again, that's just what someone with said condition would say, right? He'd much rather believe this reality. ]

Good to know. Or not, because apparently we've got enemies in the same organization. Not that I can blame anyone for getting fed up with him.

[ Sigh. ]

No kidding.

We've got reason to be worried, too. You weren't here for the Hazing.

[Pride really did have tough players on their side, and none of them were safe. Koumei had heard bits and pieces along the rumormill about what happened-- and, honestly, he could hardly blame Xanxus for retaliating.]

The ability to keep a cool head is more important than smarts right now-- it's a bonus if you've got them both. But, for now, I think we ought to find people we can trust and stick close while things are uncertain.

I think that's the only way we'll be able to figure out what the deal is.

No, I haven't. [ And it definitely sounds like an important piece of the puzzle. ] Care filling me in?

[ He scrunches his nose a bit -- he can maintain his cool, but he also does have pretty damn explosive temper. He prefers the latter, especially now. At least this talk seems to have taken his focus away from the whole supposedly not having a hand thing. ]

Just 'cause you can trust someone today doesn't mean it'll be the case tomorrow.

That doesn't mean we can't be allies while it's still convenient for us.

[He shrugged, leaving the words up to interpretation. The reply sounded oddly composed and professional, even to him.

It was unnerving.]

A couple months ago, one of the senior bands decided to harrass the newer ones without warning. We ended up in a strange horror movie set up, and the youngest among us were made targets for violence.

The rest of us? Had to save them.

...It was a mess, and the worst thing is that Ms. Santiago didn't even care.

Fair enough.

[ Good man. Not letting himself be ensnared by sentiments. ]

Interesting. [ That's it. His assessment is 'interesting'. The fact that he doesn't care for kids probably helps. ]

...can't say I'm surprised. Replacing most of us is easier than we'd like to think.

Somehow, I suspect that they might use that to their advantage one day.

[Koumei sighed, not at all bothered by Squalo's cool take on things. It was refreshing, after spending so much time confronting and comforting the young men of Flashstep and even some of Virgo's kids regarding the same matters. The only other one he had found who was so level headed about the situation was Yan, the Country-blooded Fiddler for Hue & Cry.]

That's why, whatever the deal is with your hand and whatever Genos' reasons for wearing his shades all the time, I think it might be best for the both of you to lay low about all this. Xanxus and some of the others here who are starting to get it aren't likely to be so smart...and we don't need you thrown in a freezer.

I like you when you're thawed out. Frozen Cellist isn't my preferred type, you understand.

[ Considering how calmly Squalo was plotting the capture and torture of Gold and Silver who were potential allies to their cause, it's probably not too surprising he's not reacting too extensively to something like this. ]

Easier said than done. [ He's going to try, though. Finally there's a hint of the usual smirk returning to his face. ] The freezer had nothing to do with it.

And hey, everyone hates frozen fish, right? [ there we go, a grin. ]

Raw is fine, but frozen? Never!

[He shook his head, contented now after the conversation Squalo. The knowledge of another in their label whom he could trust, one who wasn't a kid or visibly falling apart at the seams was enough to ease his own misgivings for the moment.]

Heh.

[ He doesn't feel like saying anything else on the matter at the moment. If Koumei wants to use him as a pillow, he's free to. ]

[And Koumei would definitely use Squalo as a pillow, glad to have someone to trust him and not coddle him. It was honestly more relaxing in MANTICORE's penthouse than in Cosmic Indulgence's for the moment.

He didn't need to put on a strong front.]

...Thanks, [he murmured at length, without preamble.

The reasons shouldn't need to be stated.]

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sharktrash - 2015-12-24 19:24 (UTC) - Expand

I feel so unsure

just crashing

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that is such a pretty icon tho

Hah, thanks!

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