003 ┼ SO LONG LIVE THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Who: Luci & Pride CR
What: What happens when Lucifer has a minor identity crisis? Shockingly, she's only quietly destructive.
When: Backdated to Jan 12th-14thish
Where: Pride HQ / Carnie Suite
Warnings: Carnies with feelings.

[Maybe that's why she calls herself Lucifer-- because no matter what she says or does, she'll never get the benefit of the doubt. She wears the name like everything she's ever done wrong in her life is a particularly comfortable coat, and nothing underneath would ever be seen. The devil did it... The devil always does it.]

[Squalo had a damned good point though-- anyone she was close to could become a target for Santiago whenever this favor is called up. That she didn't blame him for. Hell, she shouldn't blame him for anything she's feeling because it's messed up. She shouldn't care about getting rebuffed for trying to help, what skin was it off her nose? Who gave a shit if he held her at bay with the reminder of her deal with Santiago like it was a crucifix? The fact that he seemed not to care about her murdering two people shouldn't make her hope that people would understand she'd just been trying to defend herself.]

[No. She shouldn't feel any of those things because no one would ever reciprocate. No one ever had sympathy for the devil. This feels like a lesson she's forgotten, a reason why she can't remember any friends aside from before she joined Pride. No matter what she did, no one would think she wasn't completely evil or ready to lie to them or stab them in the back. No doubt that was why 'Lucifer'. She isn't anything like a spirit of rebellion and inspiration-- she's evil incarnate. She's ruthless and merciless. She'd kill you for a Klondike bar.]

[It would be so much easier if she didn't want to make connections with people, if she looked at the people she saw often and felt nothing. But no, she's risking her life to save Xanxus, she's teaching Jamie intimacy, she's comforting Terry after Naomi's party... What the fuck, why does it suddenly feel so wrong for her to feel positively about those memories? Why does it feel so foreign?]


[Carnie Suite]

[Luci stays in bed after she gets back from her confrontation with Squalo. She doesn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone, but given she's right where she usually is when she's upset it's not terribly hard to find her. Especially when she doesn't come out to eat and has shut off her phone.]


[Pride HQ - 14th]

[After being convinced to exit the suite if only to stretch her legs, Luci goes through the motions of procuring a cup of soup from the cafe downstairs to bring back up to the suite. No makeup, her hair product-free, she's only looked like this after Naomi's party. Something is clearly wrong with her.]

Comments

[traumatizing]

[He can do that. Terry shifts and lays down next to Luci, turning on his side a little to face her when he talks.]

I know you don't like to bug people with your shit, but I've got you. Okay?

[With everything going on, he feels like she could really use someone to talk to.]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Luci shifts awkwardly until she's got her head under Terry's chin and her arms around his waist. Then she's comfortable.]

...what if I feel like I can't expect people to actually like me because I am Lucifer, Terry? I can't remember why I picked the name. What if it's always been my name...? That's insane, isn't it?

[traumatizing]

I'm starting to think it might not be as crazy as it should be.

[He tucks his face into her hair and wraps his arms around her with a soft sigh. Garnet's eyes, Yuffie's... friend? And the way he's just been taking it all in stride like it's just business as usual. This is some nonsense.]

Whatever it is, we'll figure it out okay? I'm not leaving you to suffer on your own.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

...you're taking the supposition that I'm the devil in stride, aren't you Terry?

[She snorts into his neck and squeezes him around the middle a little.]

I'm not suffering. I'm okay. I have to be okay. Yuffie and Xanxus need me to be okay.

[traumatizing]

Well I don't.

[He says it firmly, almost parental in tone.]

So in the event you're ever not okay. You know I'm here for you.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Luci blinks at Terry's neck in surprise.]

...yeah, you're right. You don't need me to be okay. You're probably the most okay person in this whole fucking building.

[This is a stunning revelation. And it lasts for about a second or two.]

Terry, I'm so not okay. I can set my hands on fire, I may be the devil, and I'm waiting for people to start believing that and turn their backs on me one by one.

[traumatizing]

[It's funny because Terry is so far from okay, but other people have so much more shit going on in his opinion. It's easy for him to push it all down in favour of listening to their stuff.]

[Like this particular pressing issue.]-- You can set your hands on fire?

[THAT'S SO COOL.]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Luci starts beating her forehead against Terry's collarbone. Gently.]

Yeah, guess I forgot to mention that, trying to keep it under wraps for really fucking obvious reasons.

[She snaps, almost perfunctorily, and produces a flame at the end of her thumb.]

This isn't fuckwit insane at all.

[traumatizing]

It's pretty badass too though.

[He tilts his head to look at her hand curiously.] It doesn't hurt?

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Luci takes her thumb and pushes it into Terry's forearm. Nothing happens. The flame feels warm as it approaches, but when it touches his skin it just feels like her thumb is warm against him.]

Doesn't hurt anybody. Small miracle, I guess.

[traumatizing]

[Wow that's so cool.]

So. You might be the devil, and you've got this awesome ability to set your hands on fire. It's kinda freaky, but I'm not going anywhere. [He smiles softly and brushes some of Luci's hair behind her ear absently.] I can guarantee Yuffie and Xanxus aren't turning their backs on you any time soon either.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Luci snorts quietly, something new coming to mind--]

['I couldn't drive you away, could I? And oh, I tried.']

[Another faint memory of something she should remember, but it's almost comforting. That's what she's doing right now. She's trying to shove them away, just to see... just to see if they would leave.]

[Luci pulls Terry's hand up and kisses his knuckles.] You're a prince.

[traumatizing]

[He laughs softly.] I don't know about that. [Hmm.] A knight, maybe.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Yeah, takes one to cut through my bullshit.

[She kisses the underside of his wrist too before resettling under his chin. His neck feels warm against her forehead and she thinks for a beat.]

Would it be too weird if I kissed you more?

[traumatizing]

[He takes a moment to consider the question-- normally he might be a little worried about it being weird, but Luci's a tactile person. Besides, what's a few kisses between friends anyway?]

Only if it's weird for you.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

It's hard for me to feel weird about anything when it comes to things like this.

[And it's hard for her to not feel something like... relief and connection when someone doesn't dismiss her outright. When they insist they care. When she can't push them back.]

[Luci traces her nose along Terry's throat and over his Adam's apple before laying a few open-mouthed kisses along his neck. Apparently this session of 'kisses between friends' is a little more heated than it started out.]

[traumatizing]

[Oh. He's not entirely sure what he expected, but this is a little more than that. Not that Terry minds; he hums softly, pleasantly, and tilts his head a little, hand trailing lightly up and down Luci's back in absence of much else to do.]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Well, he seems to like it. Not just tolerate it, but like it, if that hum is anything to go by. Luci scoots up to face Terry properly and wastes no time just diving in for some mouth-to-mouth activity. He's been kind to her, she likes that, she likes not feeling alone. This is just the next step in enhancing that feeling.]

[traumatizing]

[Wow okay. Terry laughs softly against Luci's lips and lifts a hand to cup the side of her face. She's being way more animated about this than he expected, it's kind of endearing.]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

What? [Luci isn't exactly used to people laughing while they kiss her, she sounds pretty confused. But he's engaging at least, so there's that...]

[traumatizing]

[He smiles at her, and kisses the corner of her mouth when she speaks.]

You're just... I dunno. More enthusiastic than I expected?

[Is that the right word? Well he's said it now.]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Why wouldn't I be? [Her turn to laugh as she starts to attack his ear.] I like you.

[He's kind to her, he's taking care of her in a rough time, he's pretty cute... Why not kiss him if he's not against it?]

[traumatizing]

[Well he would have something to say to that, but Luci found his ear and he. Well. There's a slightly involuntary noise from Terry at that. He turns his head toward her, because that's enough of that okay, and tries to catch her attention for another kiss instead of this "oh hey turns out Terry's ears are super sensitive who knew" nonsense.]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Luci backs off and frowns, putting her fingers on Terry's lips before he can move them past that odd moment.]

Was that no good for you?

[She likes to know these things.]

[traumatizing]

[He frowns back, partially because of the finger on his lips, but also because he's an awkward human who always feels weird about expressing his likes.]

No, it was good. [Terry offers her a small smile.] I'll tell you if I don't like what you're doing.