003 ┼ SO LONG LIVE THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Who: Luci & Pride CR
What: What happens when Lucifer has a minor identity crisis? Shockingly, she's only quietly destructive.
When: Backdated to Jan 12th-14thish
Where: Pride HQ / Carnie Suite
Warnings: Carnies with feelings.

[Maybe that's why she calls herself Lucifer-- because no matter what she says or does, she'll never get the benefit of the doubt. She wears the name like everything she's ever done wrong in her life is a particularly comfortable coat, and nothing underneath would ever be seen. The devil did it... The devil always does it.]

[Squalo had a damned good point though-- anyone she was close to could become a target for Santiago whenever this favor is called up. That she didn't blame him for. Hell, she shouldn't blame him for anything she's feeling because it's messed up. She shouldn't care about getting rebuffed for trying to help, what skin was it off her nose? Who gave a shit if he held her at bay with the reminder of her deal with Santiago like it was a crucifix? The fact that he seemed not to care about her murdering two people shouldn't make her hope that people would understand she'd just been trying to defend herself.]

[No. She shouldn't feel any of those things because no one would ever reciprocate. No one ever had sympathy for the devil. This feels like a lesson she's forgotten, a reason why she can't remember any friends aside from before she joined Pride. No matter what she did, no one would think she wasn't completely evil or ready to lie to them or stab them in the back. No doubt that was why 'Lucifer'. She isn't anything like a spirit of rebellion and inspiration-- she's evil incarnate. She's ruthless and merciless. She'd kill you for a Klondike bar.]

[It would be so much easier if she didn't want to make connections with people, if she looked at the people she saw often and felt nothing. But no, she's risking her life to save Xanxus, she's teaching Jamie intimacy, she's comforting Terry after Naomi's party... What the fuck, why does it suddenly feel so wrong for her to feel positively about those memories? Why does it feel so foreign?]


[Carnie Suite]

[Luci stays in bed after she gets back from her confrontation with Squalo. She doesn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone, but given she's right where she usually is when she's upset it's not terribly hard to find her. Especially when she doesn't come out to eat and has shut off her phone.]


[Pride HQ - 14th]

[After being convinced to exit the suite if only to stretch her legs, Luci goes through the motions of procuring a cup of soup from the cafe downstairs to bring back up to the suite. No makeup, her hair product-free, she's only looked like this after Naomi's party. Something is clearly wrong with her.]

Comments

[cleartranquil]

[ If someone wants to hide from Yuffie, it is really better to do it outside of the Carnie suite. Yuffie gives her a couple hours, but then she very promptly breaks in. ]

Luci?

[Yuffie peaks her head in around the door, and then closes it behind her. She stands there, and then after a few moments she just wanders over and climbs up onto Luci's bed beside her, flopping backwards with her arms behind her head and staring at Luci for a very long moment.]

.....Ya know, if ya don't tell me what's wrong I'm just gonna dig for it.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Luci doesn't move when Yuffie comes in because she knows it's Yuffie. She's preparing a script, wondering what she should say, wondering if she should say anything at all. Would it be better if she just stopped talking to all of them about their strange happenings? Would it be safer for them?]

[She turns to Yuffie, just the top half of her face visible over her folded arms.]

I like people. And it hurts when they're assholic to me. Even when I deserve it.

[cleartranquil]

[Yuffie's eyes narrow, and she tenses along her shoulders. She's running through the list of people she can think of in her head, and it is clear that she's displeased hearing this.]

What happened. [She rolls over so she's on her stomach and can get a better look at Luci.] People you like shouldn't be an asshole to you.

....Unless it's Xan, and I'll hit him. [A beat.]

It wasn't Xan, right?

[She's pretty sure it can't be. They're all used to Xan being a dick and at least Yuffie and Luci seem to take it with a grain of salt.]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

No, it wasn't Xan. [Luci rolls over and rubs her face with both hands.] It was Squalo, the cellist in MANTICORE. He seemed pissed, he wouldn't tell me why, we've spent some time together, I thought we were friends, I asked if he was hiding something and...

[Things were said that would require telling Yuffie what she did to save Xanxus after the Solstice party.]

...he suggested I'd turn around and sell him out to Santiago and told me to fuck off.

14th

[worthlesspride]

[Tooru stops in the cafe for a quick bite before heading to practice in one of the sound rooms when he sees her. Fuck, she looks horrible. He makes a detour to her table and quietly puts his hand in it]

Hey, you okay?

[he doesn't sit. He get the feeling he should wait for an invention to sit right now]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[This is why she shouldn't have left the suite. She's seeing all these people she feels like she shouldn't care about, but does. Especially this guy. He wore her band's branded underwear and now he's asking if she's alright.]

I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis at twenty. How about you?

[worthlesspride]

Well, that's not good.

[He frowns at her.]

What happened?

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Had a row with Squalo. [She sighs and runs a hand through her hair.] Which shouldn't make me this despondent, that's what the actual problem is.

CRASHES INTO THE SUITE

[traumatizing]

[With everything that happened since... Ever, Terry's pretty much worried about everyone he knows at all times. When Luci doesn't respond to his text he brushes it off as her being busy, it's not like it was something important, but after some hours it kinda gnaws at him and he heads to the Carnie suite and knocks on her door.]

Hey, Luci. You in?

STEPCARNIESON

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[A groan comes from behind the door.]

I'm not hungover if that's what you're asking.

<333

[traumatizing]

[Well that's a yes. He opens the door and steps inside because privacy is for dweebs.]

You okay?

[stylistic_disloyalty]

G-O-D, why does everyone keep asking me that damn question? [She laughs, hollow and sad, from her place sprawled on her bed (fully clothed, save for the pants that seem to be abandoned a few feet from Terry.]

Shut the door. I have a feeling you want an answer, and it involves that thing I told you about. The one you can't talk to Yuffie about.

the 14th

[mildwildchild]

[Jamie's making his way hurriedly through HQ toward one of the cafes, in search of something alcoholic or caffeinated or maybe both. He's got things on his mind, like the fact that he may or may not be able to do the mind-control music thing like certain Virgos who are now dead - but that doesn't stop him from noticing Luci. She looks different, certainly, and it takes him a moment or two to recognize that it is, in fact, her, but once he does he wastes no time in approaching.]

...Luci? [He tilts his head a little, trying to catch her eye. He's never seen her not made-up, which is unusual enough, but on top of that she looks upset. Visibly so. That's cause for alarm.] Hey, what's up?

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[She's just running into everybody she's ever hugged, isn't she?]

[She sees Jamie coming her way as she's focusing on not spilling her soup while walking back to her suite, and part of her hopes he'll make like Maxxie and just not recognize her. No such luck.]

Vegetable soup. [She holds the container up a little bit.] Looks pretty good today.

[mildwildchild]

[LOOKS THAT WAY LUCI SORRY. Jamie falls into step beside her, frowning a little; he obviously wasn't inquiring about her lunch and he's pretty sure she realizes that. Prying probably won't really work, though, plus he'd sort of promised her he wouldn't do that. He tucks his hands into his pockets, going silent for a bit.]

Never seen you without your makeup and stuff before. I almost didn't recognize you.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Sorry Jamie, the magic has officially be spoiled. [Luci smiles faintly and ruffles his hair.] I even shower like everybody else. The shocking truth: film at 11.

[She knows he was asking about something else. She's trying to figure out how to tell him. Would he take offense if she said she thought she cared too much about people...?]

[variaboss]

[ He let her be the first but then she misses meals. Lunch. Dinner. Breakfast. And he isn't having that. Fuck no. So Luci is about to get her door kicked in by a shirtless Italian in a "fuck the cook" apron and a steaming plate of French Toast. ]

Hey you. You missed breakfast.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[Motherfucker--]

[Luci jerks in bed, pushing herself up onto her elbows in an apparent move to bolt. Once she sees it's Xanxus, she groans and flops back down.]

Are you trying to kill me this time? Fuck, my heart stopped.

[variaboss]

[ She looks like a startled animal and for a moment, he's almost certain he needs to be ducking but then she flops back down again and he feels the concern all over again. He walks over to her with his plate of French Toast and sits on the side of her bed. ] No. But you didn't come to lunch. Or dinner. Or breakfast. I... [ It's so hard to say it. It gets harder and harder all the time, to admit things like this. ] I'm worried about you. Whatever it is, you know you can count on us to help, right?

14th

[scalpedsociety]

[Tamara has gone into the cafe to perhaps get a bite to eat after a recording session for Crown of Thorns. And it actually takes her a while to recognize Luci without her trademark makeup and hairstyle. (She honestly thought it was just a another Pride Employee.)

Whatever this drastic change is, it's not good, Tamara knows it.]

Luci?

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Guilty. [She smiles weakly, hands in her hoodie pockets as she waits in line to get her soup. Luci knows she's put zero effort into looking like she usually does, and she's waiting for some awful photo of her to be leaked, but she can't bring herself to give a shit. Not today.]

[scalpedsociety]

[She wouldn't take pictures, if that helps.]

How has my Favorite Liar been doing?

14th

[sailorlaughter]

[Pinkie's never seen Lucifer without makeup before, but she doesn't know her quite well enough to decide if that's a big deal or not. She's always been really nice to her, though, so either way she doesn't hesitate to approach when she sees her in the cafe.]

Hey, Luci! You want a cookie with your soup? They're good today!

[stylistic_disloyalty]

...a cookie?

[Alongside soup? Hrk. That's enough to keep her off cookies for a while.]

[Well, maybe for later... if they wrapped it up...]

What kind?

[Important facts to know before making a decision.]

[sailorlaughter]

Oatmeal raisin?

Iiiii mean, there's totally different kinds! Like, five.