003 ┼ SO LONG LIVE THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Who: Luci & Pride CR
What: What happens when Lucifer has a minor identity crisis? Shockingly, she's only quietly destructive.
When: Backdated to Jan 12th-14thish
Where: Pride HQ / Carnie Suite
Warnings: Carnies with feelings.

[Maybe that's why she calls herself Lucifer-- because no matter what she says or does, she'll never get the benefit of the doubt. She wears the name like everything she's ever done wrong in her life is a particularly comfortable coat, and nothing underneath would ever be seen. The devil did it... The devil always does it.]

[Squalo had a damned good point though-- anyone she was close to could become a target for Santiago whenever this favor is called up. That she didn't blame him for. Hell, she shouldn't blame him for anything she's feeling because it's messed up. She shouldn't care about getting rebuffed for trying to help, what skin was it off her nose? Who gave a shit if he held her at bay with the reminder of her deal with Santiago like it was a crucifix? The fact that he seemed not to care about her murdering two people shouldn't make her hope that people would understand she'd just been trying to defend herself.]

[No. She shouldn't feel any of those things because no one would ever reciprocate. No one ever had sympathy for the devil. This feels like a lesson she's forgotten, a reason why she can't remember any friends aside from before she joined Pride. No matter what she did, no one would think she wasn't completely evil or ready to lie to them or stab them in the back. No doubt that was why 'Lucifer'. She isn't anything like a spirit of rebellion and inspiration-- she's evil incarnate. She's ruthless and merciless. She'd kill you for a Klondike bar.]

[It would be so much easier if she didn't want to make connections with people, if she looked at the people she saw often and felt nothing. But no, she's risking her life to save Xanxus, she's teaching Jamie intimacy, she's comforting Terry after Naomi's party... What the fuck, why does it suddenly feel so wrong for her to feel positively about those memories? Why does it feel so foreign?]


[Carnie Suite]

[Luci stays in bed after she gets back from her confrontation with Squalo. She doesn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone, but given she's right where she usually is when she's upset it's not terribly hard to find her. Especially when she doesn't come out to eat and has shut off her phone.]


[Pride HQ - 14th]

[After being convinced to exit the suite if only to stretch her legs, Luci goes through the motions of procuring a cup of soup from the cafe downstairs to bring back up to the suite. No makeup, her hair product-free, she's only looked like this after Naomi's party. Something is clearly wrong with her.]

Comments

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Oh yeah? [Luci put her hands in her pockets and smiles.] What're you working on?

[scalpedsociety]

"One is a song for a special person and the others are surprise I have to show to someone when recording begins." Nope, not telling.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Ah, damned by vague description. [She laughs faintly.] Hey, unrelated, have you seen Squalo recording anything lately?

[scalpedsociety]

He hasn't been recording much, I'm afraid. He's been practicing though, like the stubborn beast he is.

[Or course she's been helping him in that.]

Something happened to his left hand, his playing hand. [Tamara knows it's been taken off and replaced with an artificial hand, but Squalo most likely doesn't want most people to know that. Luci knows, but her son didn't tell her that she knows too.]

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Good. Good I'm glad to hear he's practicing. [Because even if he never speaks to her again, she would be depressed as all get out if Squalo actually carried through with his vow that he wasn't going to play again.]

Yeah he uh, mentioned that. I tried to tell him that he couldn't just give up, that he was too talented for that, but he didn't seem to want to listen right then. I'm glad you got through to him.

[scalpedsociety]

He's stubborn. I'm thankful that he is.

[He told her that if he quit, he'd die. Until she gets married, Squalo's the only family she allows. the rest she cut ties with a long time ago. If he goes, she goes. She doesn't completely know why, but she would. Tamara will not allow that, can't allow that to happen. Let alone her fears if Lesedi discovers this. That woman is merciless and would destroy others if they don't meet her expectations, Tamara is convinced of this. And she doesn't even know about the other awful things.]

It was a hard day, but I'm glad he was willing to listen to me. My boy can be... hard-headed.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

That serves him well in this business, honestly. Sometimes you just can't take 'no' for an answer. [In the end, Luci had known somewhere that Squalo wouldn't give up. She was just afraid he'd fall into a pit he couldn't get himself out of no matter how hard-headed he was.]

And he shouldn't. He's talented. Giving up now is insane.

[scalpedsociety]

It was a hard day though. Music is his everything and for a while it was put into doubt.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

You push through. You leave it for a day and come back ready to kick its ass. Otherwise... days go by and it beats you every morning before you even try.

[scalpedsociety]

I convinced him to fight. My boy didn't even want to take a break. He wanted to attack the problem head on.

[She wmiles fondly.]

I'm so proud of him.

[Not many people can take a loss that devastating and insist to find the problem immediately.]