"Quando l'amico chiede, non v'è domani."

[sharktrash]

Who: Dino & Squalo. And possibly you!
What: IT'S A DATE!! meeting between fellow countrymen to appreciate traditional food. Move along, no risotto for you.
When: early noon, January 25th-ish? (after song rewrite, before ghost hauntings)
Where: some nice park within Vista City roughly halfway between Pride and Virgo HQs
Warnings: language? Squalo? should be relatively safe, will update if necessary

(( prompts in comments! ))

Comments

[avidita]

[It probably looks like Squalo is fucking high on something, frankly, but what else is new.]

[Either way, Fantasma just squints back at him.]

[Wassup, Squalo.]

[sharktrash]

[ Probably. To anyone who's still around, anyway. ]

[ Slowly, he gestures to his eyes, and then the frog. ]

I'm watching you, amphibian.

[alleato]

[Dino tips his head a bit, looking at the apparently suspicious as fuck frog.]

Is that-- You're talking to a frog...

[avidita]

[A croak.]

[Yeah, Squalo, you're talking to a frog, what's up with that]

[sharktrash]

Yeah, well, that frog is stalking me! Just look at those arrogant eyes. It's up to something.

[ Congratulations Squalo, you definitely sound like a reasonable adult. ]

[alleato]

How can you tell a frog is being arrogant?

[Good lord, man.]

Seriously, it's just a frog. Look...

[He's going to get up to go poke it, if he's not stopped.]

[avidita]

[The arrogant frog in question certainly won't move if she's approached, although she is squinting up at Dino now in blatant suspicion.]

[Go on. Touch her. She dares you.]

[sharktrash]

[ Watching them both, slowly putting risotto into his mouth in a manner similar to how one would popcorn at something they think is gonna end messy. ]

Yeah? Look yourself. She's giving you the stinkeye.

[ ...he's not even sure why he suddenly decided it's a "she". ]

[alleato]

[Maybe it kinda looks like it's... doing a thing? Sort of?

No way. Poking that frog now.]

See? Totally harmless!

[avidita]

[It's right as he says that....]

[]

[The frog suddenly propels herself around, snapping her large mouth right down on the offending finger with enough force to certainly be felt. Fortunately, frogs don't have the kind of teeth to be worried about, so.... no blood shed. Yet.]

[But she's hanging on, the night is still young, etc, etc.]

OH MY GOD

[sharktrash]

[ ... ]

[ .................. ]

[ SORRY DINO as much as he's weirded out by the frog he's gonna break out laughing now. ]

[alleato]

[OKAY WELL HE IS JUST FLINGING HIS HAND NOW AND YELLING AND CURSING A LOT.]

What the hell is wrong with this frog???

[avidita]

[Well, she's not letting go, for one thing. That's problem #1 right there.]

[sharktrash]

I think it's defending its honor?

[ LITERAL TEARS IN HIS EYES sorry Dino he doesn't seem particularly concerned about your potential injuries ]

[alleato]

[FUUUUUUU]

HELP ME!!!

[avidita]

[Y'all are rude motherfuckers, treating a lady like this.]

[She's still not letting go, either.]

[sharktrash]

The fuck do you want me to do?

[ Okay fine he'll just. Try to take the frog and pull it off Dino? ]

[ ...with his fake ass hand. Sorry if you're getting squished, Fantasma. It's probably not on purpose. ]

[alleato]

Smack it or something!

[This won't go poorly. Not at all.]

But it's chewing on my hand so don't piss it off!!!

[avidita]

[Do not smack the frog!! She's already making the angriest squeaking from how she's being squeezed, which sure isn't making her let go. In fact, she seems to be holding on tighter.]

[Somewhere, hidden by illusions, Mammon is probably choking on their own laughter.]

[sharktrash]

I'm pretty sure smacking WOULD piss it off!

[ Holy shit how hard is she holding on. It should probably be noted as unnatural that two grown men can't pull a frog off a finger, but hey, brainwashing etc. ]

[ Squalo is getting rather pissed off, though. And when that happens? Well, something less nice resurfaces. ]

[ He stares at it flatly for about a second, then squishes her into a fist. Hopefully Fantasma has some trick up her imaginary sleeve that will prevent her from becoming frog juice, because otherwise, RIP. ]

[avidita]

[Well, to be fair, the Cavallone is a huge weiner in multiple ways, so that's at least half an explanation.]

[That aside, unfortunately Fantasma currently doesn't have anything up her sleeves. Fortunately, Mammon does. It's a very minor trick to let Squalo think he's squishing the frog while keeping her safe, even as Fantasma does genuinely let go of Dino's finger.]

[Which was still his fault to begin with, as far as she's concerned.]

[There's a deflated sounding croak.]

[alleato]

[Oh. Oh god. Why.]

YOU KILLED IT????

[sharktrash]

[ Oh yeah that's true. :0 ]

[ With the flat look of a seasoned (frog) murderer, he shakes his hand to get what he believes to be frog squish out on the grass, then wipes his palm on Dino's pants just in case. ]

Yeah, why?

[alleato]

[Internal chaos and screaming and a hideous sense that this is just like Squalo to do. Like... totally normal.]

Why'd you get it on my pants?

[sharktrash]

[ ISN'T IT THOUGH. Somehow this hilarious trainwreck of a situation feels very much normal. What is happening. ]

'Cause you're right there? Why would I get it on mine?

[ CASUAL SHRUG this is the exact behavior of the guy who takes your lunch money isn't it ]