What to do with a drunken sailor

[dishonestlyhonest]

Who: Captain Jack Sparrow and YOU - choose your own adventure with prompts!
What: In which a pirate goes about trying to not be a pirate in a big city filled with things he does not understand though he is grateful that there is at least rum
When all day and into the night and maybe the next day 2/19 through 2/21
Where: A pirate themed bar called 'The Drunken Pirate, the open ground floor clubs at both Virgo and Pride, and a rescuer's apartment in which there is a bathtub and a jar of dirt
Warnings: Jack is being Jack which should be a warning in itself


act i
Jack wasn't sure exactly how he became gainfully employed, but it was a fact that if someone needed a person to act as piratey as possible and tell tall tales, then there would be no doubt in his mind that he was the person to talk to. Well, given that the people that could out-pirate him were not even on this planet, let alone in this universe. Jack landed this job by sheer accidentally showing up the original 'Captain Story', who then quit because of how much a lubber like Jack could out tall tale him. Jack had been a little disappointed since pirates usually tell tales until they pass out but it gave him money for rum and free rum so life was good.

Those times when he wasn't telling tales and drinking rum, he could be singing songs. He might not have the inclination to play an instrument, he still had an nice voice and he knew a lot of songs thanks to Teague. He took requests, but only the way Jack took them - by singing what he could remember and making it up as he went along. He traveled between tables or sat in his corner stool or hung out around the musicians. Maybe he decided to bother you in one of his passing circuits of the bar.

act ii
If there was one thing that Jack knew (granted there was a lot that he could fake given the circumstances) not knowing the layout was a sure fire way of completely screwing things up later on. Luckily, the ground floors of both of the enemy camps were open to visitors. All Jack had to do was take a bath, do that mysterious ritual called teeth brushing and wear something that was a little less piratey than normal, though given just how most people dressed, he really wouldn't have stand out as it was.

So there was this guy dressed in a motley of layers that included lace and sashes and a really nice hat (fedora) swaying through the public areas, fingers wiggling, wide grin on his face showing his golden teeth and generally poking at stuff before drifting on. Care to bother him?

act iii
It was a long day and Jack was tired. Because he didn't really do what normal people did and rent a place to stay, he ended up drifting between the places of other rescuers that he knew of. Today there was a distinct lack of space on the couch and floor, so he ended up in the bathtub. So there is a sleeping pirate sans his boots curled up in the bathtub holding a jar of dirt close to his chest. Wanna wake him up?

Comments

ii (virgo)

[thelittlemerman]

Finnick finds himself in the downstairs bars often enough, finding every day a little harder than the last and needing some intoxicating beverages to numb the pain. He's done his best with his band mates, trying to get them to keep their guard up, but with what Blanche and all these other legacy artist can do, he's not sure it's going to do anything anyway.

Anyway, here he is, wandering in for a change of pace. He brushes by Jack at the bar by accident, knocking him gently with his elbow as he passes by. Holding up a hand, he murmurs some apology and then frowns at the sight of those teeth. It's not as outlandish as some things he's seen, but really?

"Excuse me," he says, then motions to the bartender that he'd like a drink. Which is an awkward thing to do because now he has to stand next to this gentleman and wait for it. It's a series of bad decisions for Finnick Odair tonight.

[dishonestlyhonest]

"That's quite alright," Jack replied, touching his hands together and bowing slightly over them. "It's a mite bit crowded in this here place."

Yes, those teeth are a bit outlandish, but at least he was spared looking at the rest of Jack's ornaments like the wire work with the tooth that he lost and found and didn't want to lose again. As it was, he certainly was a colorful person even if one did not count the accent.

"If you be so kind, I'd like some rum."

[thelittlemerman]

Finnick's very good at hiding certain emotions, things like the affront he feels when Jack does what appears to be asking him to get some rum. This is a public bar, so people have to pay, and that's the first thing that jumps to Finnick's mind - 'can't you buy it for yourself?' - but he wisely does not say that. The image, and all that.

However, if this man knows who he is he hasn't demonstrated that yet and Finnick only feels particularly giving when his fame is being acknowledged. Nevertheless, he motions to the bartender and orders the rum, hoping his generosity doesn't land him stuck in a long conversation.

[dishonestlyhonest]

"Ahh, thankee kindly but I can pay if it's all the same to you."

He wasn't a freeloading type of pirate that would take everything and give nothing back - okay he was, but the point was that he did not know this gentleman and while he had some very lax standards, he wasn't going to force a complete stranger the burden of trying to keep up with his drinking habit.

Besides, he has no idea if this person was one of the captured people or one of the slavers and did not want to make anyone that may hurt him, Jack, upset. Upset people tend to be rather painfully creative in their revenge.

"You have a lovely building here. Do you live ehre?"

iii

[determinate]

To their credit, Frisk stands and watches the sleeping pirate for a little while before eventually concluding that he's not gonna wake up on his own. They kinda have to use the toilet - human food, gross - but they don't want to do it while he's in here. And there's only the one bathroom in this place. It probably wasn't technically meant to house so many people.

It seems a little rude to wake him up...but why's he sleeping in the bathtub anyway? Eventually, they lean over and poke him lightly in the shoulder.

[dishonestlyhonest]

Jack could sleep through a storm if given enough to drink, so there was probably no surprise to anyone that he muttered, wrapped his arms tighter around the jar of dirt, and said something that sounded like 'fishbucsucks'. A gentle tap wasn't going to get him up, not at this moment in time, though he may wrinkle his nose and curl up more.

[determinate]

Well, that's disappointing.

Frisk scrunches up their nose a little, shifting their weight. They can hold on for a little while longer, but chances are he'll still be here then. They're not going outside, either. Reaching out, they tug on his sleeve a little more insistently. Come onnnnnnnn, pirate man.

[dishonestlyhonest]

He snorted, one crusty eye opening and blinking while his nose wrinkles. He had been drinking, true enough. He had been swaying from side to side and he had somehow decided that to protect himself from strange whatsits outside the known universe he needed some dirt. Now he was blinking at some porcelain that was not really what he'd considered porcelain and wondering what happened after the dirt gathering.

Oh. Right. He had gotten tired.

Jack looked up and saw the rather worried face of a young person looking down at him.

"Good morn," he said and then blinked. "It is morning, isn't it?"

what CAN'T you do with a drunken sailor // I?

[sharktrash]

Squalo isn't that into pirate stuff or anything. Sure, he's probably seen some adventure movies, wondered about strapping a sword to his arm stub, you know, the usual stuff, but he never went out of his way for pirate-y stuff.

But he does like to act on a whim, and that 'Drunken Pirate' bar looks exceptionally welcoming today. ...It might be the sign that says there's a 30% discount to all rum and gin.

Either way, he makes his way in, takes his time to appreciate the thematic interior and orders some drinks, and then his attention is inevitably drawn to the actor. Or, well, he thinks it's an actor, though he does look extremely authentic. The clothes, the hair, the stories, the... stench from his breath. Wow this guy must take his role super seriously. He can respect that.

Though that also means he'll be bothering him before he can bother Squalo. He leans out of his seat when the pirate walks by, and grins at him. "Heeey, great clothes."

make him sober? IDEK

[dishonestlyhonest]

someone was not asking for a story or a song and actually commenting on his outfit? Jack stopped in his meandering path and waved his hand vaguely towards the other 'actors' of the bar, who - in his most humblest of opinions - needed to work on their pirate-y swagger a bit more. Especially the women. He knew pirate women and while some did choose to have their cleavage exposed in such manners, the most just went for the same style as the men save with a corset and maybe a few more pearls.

"Thankee kindly, good sir," he said at last, dipping into a abbreviated bow with the palms of his hands touching slightly and the tips of his fingers tapping his chin - a form he learned during his stay in Singapore. "It is one of the more truer signs of a able-bodied man before the mast that he can don grab that speaks of his status."

Most pirates wore their wealth if they can. For one, it was a show of said wealth and a mark of how much of a title that they may think was due to them. For another, it was far easier to just trade a ring for wares then carry around a purse that may be easily flinched by nimble fingers, as he knew most intimately since he did that as a lark as a lad before Teague caught up with him.

"And what brings you to this fine establishment on this day? I do not recall you among the regulars."

Idle talk meant time to take a seat and see if he can charm some drink from the barkeeper. Unfortunately for him, they had put a limit onto how much of it free he could have and instead started up a tab that was deducted from his wages.

tru tru

[sharktrash]

...he understands maybe half of what the pirate's saying. Well, he supposes it's part of being ~authentic~. He arches a brow at the bow - okay, it must be an Eastern pirate, then? - but doesn't really do anything to reciprocate. Hey, he's the crowd here and he's entitled to entertainment without being nice.

Except he still orders two drinks instead of one as Jack takes a seat, and pushes one toward him with a grin.

"Drinks and a twist of fate," he says, and it's... pretty much true all over. He's also eyeing the other's hair pieces, though. Especially that big one with beads and feathers and... "Is that a bone?"

[dishonestlyhonest]

Jack was probably the only real pirate in this place, though he hadn't much against the people trying to pretend to be pirates. They just hadn't gotten the right cadence down pat and the clothing they wore needed a bit more salt to them, but that was fine. Jack bore them no ill will since they had ever so kindly gave him a spot to make money and drink rum.

He grinned at the appearance of the second drink, and spent a few moments of toasting his host and taking a nice deep pull from it before setting it down and doing his job, which was to be entertaining. Though this guy had asked about something specific, namely his decorations.

"Aye. The fingerbone 'tis something found but the tooth is me own." And to prove it, he grinned and yes, there is a space where a tooth should be.

pirate bar? All for it

[variaboss]

Xanxus only found this bar by accident. Mostly because he heard about the rum here. He really isn't too fond of pirates in general. Too much "R. Be Ye a Lubber" and crap like that. But he can't argue that this place has the best alcohol.

So there he is. At the bar. And he's putting a sizable dent into the bar's collection of fine imported rums. Who drunk all the rum? The answer is Xanxus if no one stops him. Or hey, drinking contest is always good.

Besides, that pirate captain guy is pretty amusing. "So what about that gold?"

drink up me hearties?

[dishonestlyhonest]

"And what gold would that be?"

For this employment, Jack was usually playing up his rather unique accent and slurring his words most purposely. But he didn't keep it up all the time, so there was a chance that the people he stopped to have just an idle chitchat with may get a more natural, though still eccentric, speech with him. Luckily Xanxus has gotten Jack on one of his more natural cadence of speech, so he wasn't going to get all that 'R U Lubber' talk.

Not that Jack's way with words was always that understandable.

"I know many such tales of treasure, from the cursed Inca treasure, the lost gold of Cortes, or perhaps you may be speaking of the lost island of Kerma and the gold hidden under her shores. There is as much gold in the seas are there are lands, and even then, they are not always found by just knowing where to go."

He grinned, gold teeth showing as he leans in close while keeping an eye on his own tankard of rum. "Which do you want to hear about?"

[variaboss]

Xanxus appreciates that. He really does. Still, nothing better than a good yarn when you're trying to drink an establishment dry of the rum. He's on another shot and trying to be adult and not make booty jokes. Mostly because this guy probably hears those sort of things all day.

"Islands sound cool. Always wanted to buy an island." ...maybe he does have an island already. Named it after someone's ass cause it was shaped like a butt. But that's not the point. Point is, islands sound like a good story.

"How about a story about gold you had but lost? Or just tell me about that lost island."

[dishonestlyhonest]

The booty jokes were a bit old hat by this point. Jack didn't understand them at first, but after a couple weeks, he got the idea and tried his best to dissuade people from making them in the first place. Usually a puff of breath did that, he had found.

"Islands are very nice, so long as you have a way off of them." He liked the small islands that no one really claimed. He likes the places where one can swim or hunt or gather fruit. Many a good crew had several of those islands on their charts, mainly so they could resupply without needing a by your leave from someone else.

"The lost island of Kerma?" He took a long drink of his rum and sighed, remembering the princess and the room of treasure where laid the Heart of the island and its powers. "Ah, that is a juicy tale, though it ends on a mysterious note, so they say. It's the home of those people who took to word the dreams of their king and abandoned their homeland in Africa right before it was swept under the heel of a warring neighbor that wanted their greatest treasure - the Heart of Zerzura."

And he was off, telling the tale with usual gusto and a lot of conviction, especially when he came upon the many layers of traps and guardians of the labyrinth built to protect the stone. As he spoke, he waved his hands when he came upon a juicy tidbit that needed some deeper explaining, or when he got to the part where the pirates were fighting and wanted to demonstrate a move or two. The Heart he especially seemed to know much about, even shaping its size and weight in the air.

Way hey and up she rises (III)

[eba02]

It had been a long day for J too. There were days when coffee shop work was invigorating and energetic, and there were days when it was frenetic and exhausting; today had definitely been the latter. All he wants to wash the smell of coffee out of his hair and collapse in bed (to get up and open tomorrow, because someone scheduled him back to back and nobody wanted to switch. He really hadn't missed this part of the job).

He can hear the swaying tune all the way from the hall, and it only gets louder as he heads into the apartment. What he hadn't been expecting - and what he finds - is Jack dead asleep in his tub.

Um.

He needs that.

"Long day, huh?"

[dishonestlyhonest]

So about the sleeping pirate in the tub, he doesn't seem to be moving at all. In fact, he just wrinkles his nose and curls a little bit more over his jar of dirt, muttering something that might be in another language but was probably just Jack sleep talking with his accent really showing.

[eba02]

And he's still asleep. Sheesh. J reaches over and jostles Jack's shoulder. "C'mom, man, wake up."

III

[eversohungry]

Vastra rips the curtain aside and grimaces at the display in her bathtub. Honestly-- how was this better than the floor, which she had so graciously offered him when he'd come stumbling in earlier that morning? The silurian curls her lip at the sight of the jar.

"Where on Earth did you find that-- and where were you even keeping it..." Vastra sighs and pats at Jack's shoulder.

"Up, up Captain Sparrow, the real estate agent is showing the house, we must be scarce."

[dishonestlyhonest]

He just found it. Some where. Just not exactly sure where he found it or how, but he did. And tubs were nice, they offer a little bit of protection because how many crawling things from other worlds check a tub first thing first? (No, don't let him know about the horror shows that have bathing people getting eaten all the time otherwise he would never take a shower again.)

Regardless, Jack grips his jar of dirt tighter and attempts to curl up against the idea of waking up. There was even a suggestion of a snore.

[eversohungry]

Vastra huffs in annoyance, rolls her eyes, and darts her long, prehensile tongue into Jack's ear. She's not trying to find another ugly-as-sin house that no agent can sell, and she's certainly not being arrested this morning.

II

[hanginginthere]

Waitaminute, Shen knows that guy.

He's immediately on alert, camera once more in hand, and following that unmistakable...swagger? Sashay? Something. The camera is, however, secured by the strap around his neck, and not about to fall out of his hands like before, but...Shen's fingers drum on it thoughtfully before he finally thinks he has a good spot, the man seated at the bar. It's decent composition, and with Shen perched on one of the spiral stairs leading up to the second floor of the club, he can get a decent shot...

Click.

There goes the flash.

[dishonestlyhonest]

And Jack doesn't pay it any mind. He was a little - okay, a lot - of clueless when it came to such things as cameras and flashing lights and other sundry, so he completely ignores the camera flash in favor of talking with the bartender and waving his glass around when he talks.

[hanginginthere]

All this really means is that Shen can get a little bit closer. Far be it from him to be satisfied with just one, anyway. He flips though what he got, then decides to try working for a closer shot. This one may expose him a little bit more, but...

Oh, there's a good one. It's Nyla, coming in for a drink. His manager seems as though she's doing it only for the sake of appearances, and considering he rarely sees her in the bar in the first place - Shen can't quite resist. As the woman settles at the bar, giving Jack a brief glance, Shen quickly moves forwards for a new position at the far end.