What to do with a drunken sailor

[dishonestlyhonest]

Who: Captain Jack Sparrow and YOU - choose your own adventure with prompts!
What: In which a pirate goes about trying to not be a pirate in a big city filled with things he does not understand though he is grateful that there is at least rum
When all day and into the night and maybe the next day 2/19 through 2/21
Where: A pirate themed bar called 'The Drunken Pirate, the open ground floor clubs at both Virgo and Pride, and a rescuer's apartment in which there is a bathtub and a jar of dirt
Warnings: Jack is being Jack which should be a warning in itself


act i
Jack wasn't sure exactly how he became gainfully employed, but it was a fact that if someone needed a person to act as piratey as possible and tell tall tales, then there would be no doubt in his mind that he was the person to talk to. Well, given that the people that could out-pirate him were not even on this planet, let alone in this universe. Jack landed this job by sheer accidentally showing up the original 'Captain Story', who then quit because of how much a lubber like Jack could out tall tale him. Jack had been a little disappointed since pirates usually tell tales until they pass out but it gave him money for rum and free rum so life was good.

Those times when he wasn't telling tales and drinking rum, he could be singing songs. He might not have the inclination to play an instrument, he still had an nice voice and he knew a lot of songs thanks to Teague. He took requests, but only the way Jack took them - by singing what he could remember and making it up as he went along. He traveled between tables or sat in his corner stool or hung out around the musicians. Maybe he decided to bother you in one of his passing circuits of the bar.

act ii
If there was one thing that Jack knew (granted there was a lot that he could fake given the circumstances) not knowing the layout was a sure fire way of completely screwing things up later on. Luckily, the ground floors of both of the enemy camps were open to visitors. All Jack had to do was take a bath, do that mysterious ritual called teeth brushing and wear something that was a little less piratey than normal, though given just how most people dressed, he really wouldn't have stand out as it was.

So there was this guy dressed in a motley of layers that included lace and sashes and a really nice hat (fedora) swaying through the public areas, fingers wiggling, wide grin on his face showing his golden teeth and generally poking at stuff before drifting on. Care to bother him?

act iii
It was a long day and Jack was tired. Because he didn't really do what normal people did and rent a place to stay, he ended up drifting between the places of other rescuers that he knew of. Today there was a distinct lack of space on the couch and floor, so he ended up in the bathtub. So there is a sleeping pirate sans his boots curled up in the bathtub holding a jar of dirt close to his chest. Wanna wake him up?

Comments

III

[eversohungry]

Vastra rips the curtain aside and grimaces at the display in her bathtub. Honestly-- how was this better than the floor, which she had so graciously offered him when he'd come stumbling in earlier that morning? The silurian curls her lip at the sight of the jar.

"Where on Earth did you find that-- and where were you even keeping it..." Vastra sighs and pats at Jack's shoulder.

"Up, up Captain Sparrow, the real estate agent is showing the house, we must be scarce."

[dishonestlyhonest]

He just found it. Some where. Just not exactly sure where he found it or how, but he did. And tubs were nice, they offer a little bit of protection because how many crawling things from other worlds check a tub first thing first? (No, don't let him know about the horror shows that have bathing people getting eaten all the time otherwise he would never take a shower again.)

Regardless, Jack grips his jar of dirt tighter and attempts to curl up against the idea of waking up. There was even a suggestion of a snore.

[eversohungry]

Vastra huffs in annoyance, rolls her eyes, and darts her long, prehensile tongue into Jack's ear. She's not trying to find another ugly-as-sin house that no agent can sell, and she's certainly not being arrested this morning.

[dishonestlyhonest]

"Blithering snakes!"

Yes, he suddenly shouts and sits upright even as he presents his jar of dirt in the direction of the odd attack. Then he blinked and looked up, frowning somewhat at the presence of Vastra and not a crawling creature from the blackest pits of the ocean.

"My apologies, Miss. Did I hurt you?"

[eversohungry]

Ah, that got him up and alert-- at least his reflexes were still in tact, drunk appearance aside.

"Hardly, Captain. There is movement in the house, we must hide or risk discovery. And while you have the appearance of a drunk vagrant, I have a more urgent problem."

[dishonestlyhonest]

He frowned for a moment, his mind still a little - okay maybe a lot - sleepy but a few thoughts fired themselves off that got him on the move. He wobbled to his feet, set his jar down, went over the side of the tub like a person trying to figure out where his feet was, picked his jar up and, on third thought, got his boots and shoved their tops through his sash since he needed his hands sort of free.

"Where to shall we depart?"

[eversohungry]

Vastra watches, curious at the very disorganized and random way Jack seems to be gathering things up, but she's patient enough. The real estate agent is still given her overview of the house on the front lawn, from what Vastra can hear.

"Attic. This house has a 'rat problem' that I'm encouraging," she says with a smirk as she leads Jack out into the hallway and pulls down on a cord hanging down, deploying the stairs. "Care to play a rat today, Captain?"

[dishonestlyhonest]

"Nothing wrong with rats; they can always be a food source if the fish aren't biting."

Not that he expected very many people to understand that, but the limited food supplies on board a ship often meant that if they had to, a sailor would catch and eat a rat if there were some to catch. More often, they tried to get rid of them as fast as possible since rats carried all sorts of biting bugs that made some trips far more dangerous then they should be.

But once he got the idea, he nodded, scampering up the ladder with ease and looking around for a place where he could lay low and wait. The jar of dirt went into a corner with other sundry and he settled down next to a beam that should cover him enough from direct view.

[eversohungry]

"Too many bones, not enough meat," Vastra smiles cheekily as she lets Jack up the ladder first, then follows quickly, sword and small bag in hand. She nodded to Jack as he took up his post behind the beam and picked up a marble. After showing it to him, she rolls it across the floor to him.