interstellar5555 | I hear the angels talking talking talking now I'm a dead man walking walking walking

Entry tags:

ryouta kise,
xanxus

I hear the angels talking talking talking now I'm a dead man walking walking walking

Who: Ryouta Kise and you! Also Xanxus.
What: Ryouta can't keep his head in the sand anymore
When: After "Ankh" posts to his twitter account
Where: Virgo HQ, Vista City Park, the beach (Xanxus only)
Warnings: Heaving emotional turmoil, a breakdown, and in the Xanxus locked thread; Xanxus and all the issues to go with him.

Ryouta hates his home.

He hates it so much. He wants to move. He just doesn’t know how.

Aoba’s gone, Kaworu’s gone, Tsuna’s gone, Nia’s gone. It’s just him, Momo, and Ankh.

Except Ankh isn’t Ankh. He knows it isn’t. He’s too happy, doesn’t twitch as much. Just everything is off. And ever since he learned to copy things by just watching the amount of visual information he’s processing has increased so he knows Ankh has been replaced. He can’t prove it, but he knows.

So he spends all of his free time outside of the suite. In they gym, in the cafe, anywhere but his suite, where he only goes back to sleep at night. He wonders what will happen. Last time it was down to the three of them Nia and Tsuna came, but… He just doesn’t know what’s going to happen to Surviving Friday.

Which means the second album he’s been working on is going to be trashed. And he hates that. He’s been planing on releasing an EP, like Genos and Roy have, he can salvage some of his Generation of Miracles concepts for his EP. He’s has “Dead Man Walking” recorded (Xanxus had helped a lot with that). “Irresistible” has Ankh singing, but he can replace that with his own voice. He has demos of other songs made along. It’s just a matter of piecing it together now.

If he can make his brain work that is.

He’s so scared. Flowers over Bones is gone, which means Luce is gone. And Luce was his go to person for comfort, and the Doctor was pretty cool too. And Ivan. And Sora’s gone. That hurts a lot too. Sora was his best friend. Rarity’s gone too. He didn’t have much interaction with her, but he had wanted to get to know her better.

Why is everyone disappearing? He knew something was weird, with all the weird memories and stuff, but he ignored it, hoping everything would turn out okay.

Obviously, that didn’t happen. He had his head in the sand for too long and now he doesn’t know anything. He’s scared, hurt, and confused that it takes all his well to not cry in the middle of the hall.

Prombts Below

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"You're Kai's aren't you?" Ryouta lifted his hand and rubbed at the dog's ears. He remembered this dog from Kai's work...

But he remembers meeting this dog before. It had peed in Midorimacchi's rickshaw. It had eyes as blue as Kai's...

"Where's your human?" He looked around, trying to see if he could find Kai before Kai snuck up on him.

Success! The dog leans into the touch and his tail wags happily. As if in answer to the question, Nigou turns his head yips in the direction he came from. Sure enough, his owner comes walking around a bend in the path, scanning the area for his pet.

Kuroko's steps pause for just a moment when he sees Kise. They haven't spoken since the Fairy Trial reception, and he's sure that this is going to be awkward. Helpfully, his mind supplies the memory of Kise's lips on his. In case he forgot. But this is no time time to worry about things like that. Eventually he'll have told himself that enough times for it to become true.

So he walks over to the bench and picks up his dog.

"It's been a while. I'm sorry if he was bothering you."

"Hey Kaicchi," Ryouta said brightly. Well, as brightly as he can, considering, but the dog and seeing Kai does make him feel better.

"Nigou was just saying hi," he began and then trailed off. How had he known the dog was called that? He hadn't looked at the collar. "I like dogs. Some have even compared me to be big golden lab puppy before."

He looks up at Kai. He also remembers the kiss, it was a nice kiss. They hadn't really talked about it had they? Would they need to? "How's your day going?"

So Kise remembered Nigou. Interesting. Kuroko makes a show of tilting his head thoughtfully and considering the comparison carefully.

"A golden labrador... Yes, I can definitely see the resemblance."

He joins Kise on the bench, keeping the dog on his lap.

"So far I can't complain. We usually come to the park when I have a day off."

Both to give Nigou a chance to run around and in the hopes of maybe joining a pickup game. Something in Kise's tone, or maybe it's the look in his eyes, or maybe he's just known him too long... Whatever it is, something tells Kuroko that things are not as well on his end.

"Are you alright? You seem... troubled."

He does. More memories about the puppy now. Playing with basketballs, Kagamicchi being scared of it.

"Just... a lot of stuff going on. Half my band has been fired, and I don't know what's going on with Momo or..."

He paused, looking at Kai. "I think a pod person replaced Ankhcchi."

Now that he's learned what to look for, Kuroko can actually see the flash of memory in Kise's eyes. He wonders which memories they were.

"A... pod person? That sounds complicated."

Kuroko actually has some guesses about that one. The rescuers aren't in constant contact, but rumors do get around. Honestly he feels really bad for Kise. Piecing all of this together when you're missing so many memories is probably an exercise in frustration.

"Would you like to talk about it? I don't know if there's anything I can do to help, but... at least I can listen."

No. The guilt surges up again. There is something else he can do. But... is now the right time? Will it help or make things worse?

"I guess."

Kise sighs. "I'm not sure what else there is to say about it. I just can tell he's different. It's my eyes... I can just take in so much more now."

He touches the skin under his right eye. "Ever since these turned yellow... I just don't know what's going on any more."

Kuroko falls silent and his gaze drops to the ground in front of them. Well.... this might be his best chance. When he finally speaks, his voice is hesitant and unsure.

"Do you think... it would be easier if you did understand? Or... would you rather everything go back to what you were used to?"

He keeps his gaze on the ground, not wanting to meet Kise's eyes at the moment.

"What are you saying?" Ryouta doesn't like this. On one hand he's tired of burying his head in the sand but on the other hand...

On the other he knows knowing more would be dangerous.

"Kaiichi," he begins, voice shaky. "Kaiichi, you know something. You... lied to me when we first met, didn't you?"

Kuroko sighs. There's no denying it now.

"Yes..."

He pauses, then adds quietly...

"I'm sorry...."

It's only now that his gaze finally sweeps back up to look at Kise again.

"Would you like to know the truth?"

Honestly he needs to know. But... Kuroko doesn't want to force it on him either.

"Why?" Kise stands and paces in front of the bench. "Why have you been lying?" It hurts, being lied to. He hates it. He hates it so much. It's why he's so picky about his friends...

He clutches at his head. Takes a breath.

"Fine," he said after a moment, voice clipped. "Tell me the truth and why you lied."

Well, Kise didn't leave. That's a good sign. Now Kuroko just has to figure out where to start in all this. Maybe the direct approach is best.

"The truth is that you don't belong here. In simplest terms, you were kidnapped and your memories were altered. I came here to rescue you. You aren't the only victim here, and I'm not the only person who came to save a friend."

He pauses then, but that last question does deserve an answer.

"I lied because we weren't sure how closely you and the other musicians were being watched. If it had been just my own safety, I would have preferred to tell you the truth a while ago. But I had to think of the others too."

"That's insane," Ryouta protested. "You know that sounds crazy right?"

He continued to pace, waving his arms about, not caring that he looked like a crazy person.

"Like, okay, I just..." he trailed off, not really sure how to respond.

What Kai said made sense. It made too much sense. And it was terrifying. He was tired of not knowing what was going on, and was obvious that keeping his head down wasn't going to do him much good, but accepting what Kai was saying was too much.

He stopped and looked at Kai. "Your name's not Kai is it?" he asked, but he knew the answer.

The name rolled off his tongue with ease, like something he had kept treasured. "Kuroko Tetsuya." He paused. "You are Kurokocchi. My... my..."

He didn't want to say "My muse" because suddenly all those songs he wrote about Kuroko were embarrassing. All those emotions, positive and negative, he poured into those lyrics about Kuroko. His pain of having hurt the other boy, the pain of thinking that Kuroko had just turned his back on the rest of the Miracles, of the...

Of the giant ass crush he had on him. That he never told but was now fucking obvious in those lyrics.

"Oh God."

"Yes."

It sounds very crazy. Kuroko doesn't hesitate to agree with that. He watches Kise pace around, waiting to see how he deals with this revelation. There may be a very tiny bit of relief in his eyes when Kise finally calls him by his name. At least he's not denying the truth. He nods, and his tone is faintly apologetic.

"Yes, I am."

He's about to add to that, but then he hesitates. This is a lot for anyone to process, and he can only guess at what must be going through Kise's mind. How much does he remember? How much is still out of his reach? And now that this was out in the open, where did they go from here? Kuroko honestly has no idea.

"I am sorry I couldn't tell you sooner, Kise-kun. Are you... alright?"

Kise's mind is still a mess, but things are piecing together, and he's remembering things.

"Oh, god," he repeated. "Oh, god, you know."

Because of all the things he can be focusing on he's focusing on that. Teenage logic at it's finest.

"And we kissed!" He pauses. Okay, that part, he's kinda okay with. But is Kuroko?

And then there's the whole Xanxus thing. And Aomine, and just... everything. He might need to be reminded there's more important things at stake here.

"Know?

At first he doesn't quite realize what Kise is getting at. But then understanding dawns. And with it the faintest bit of pink colors his cheeks.

"Ah. That."

That particular can of worms is one he knew they'd have to discuss eventually. But not yet. Even if he was ready, they don't have the time.

"I was hoping we could discuss that after I rescue you."

"Yes that!"

He looked away, his own cheeks turning pink as well. "It's... probably going to be a short talk, huh? I mean..." He made a vague hand gesture. "I, we, what happened at Teikou, and that one guy... What's his name? Tiger?"

He remembers the face, the loud personality.

"Kagamicchi, that's his name."

So Kise wasn't going to be deterred so easily. Kuroko sighs and looks away. He should just let Kise vent, and then bring the focus back to escaping the evil clutches of alien masterminds. That's the important thing right now.

But somehow, he can't.

"I suppose it can be as short as you want it to. But personally.... I actually had quite a bit to say."

There is the slightest hint in his voice of something like... frustration? Honestly Kuroko doesn't even know what he's feeling right now. Or why it bothers him that Kise immediately brought up Kagami.

Kise let out a sigh, noting the frustration in Kuroko's voice.

"I... guess it would be longer," he admitted. "There's... a lot I need to say too."

He sits down again. "Where should we start?"

Well... fine. They're doing this now. Kuroko briefly considers trying to steer things back to the obviously more important things they have to worry about. That would be sensible.

But he's finding that he really doesn't want to be sensible right now. So after a moment of silence, he finally brings his gaze back up to Kise. When the words do come, they're fast, as if he's afraid that he'll lose his nerve if he stops.

"I suppose I should start. I don't know how much of middle school you remember, but.... back then I had... feelings for Aomine-kun. But... by the time I understood what those feelings were it was already... too late."

It still hurts to think about that day on the river bank. That rejected fist bump. Even though it was years ago. Even though he's long since made up with Aomine. It's not fair how much memories can sting.

"Things in middle school... ended badly. Not just with Aomine-kun, but... in general."

That feels like a huge understatement. He won't go into the details now though.

"For a long time after that, I'll admit I wasn't terribly interested in... relationships."

But is it any wonder considering how his first crush ended?

"I remember some," Kise admitted. "I'm... Well, not proud of them." He's not sure if having distance from them due to brainwashing is good or bad. "I'm... The... When I got here, I was different. I was friendlier I guess? I acted like I did with you and Aomine and the others with everyone. They made me think I was desperate for friends when before..."

He paused. "I don't remember if I ever told you or the others, but my oldest sister is also a model, and she got me involved in the fashion industry too. But she got a stalker while I was still in elementary. And it got really bad at one point." The memory is flowing at this point. He can't really explain it. "Really, really bad. And because of it, we just drew in closer. Kinda had to cut out the rest of the world for a bit. And that's when I learned I had to be careful who I let in. It's why I'm distant with people unless I see that they prove themselves to me. You saw that. That one girl claiming to be my girlfriend and then 'dumping' me for what's his name? Yamazaki? Ryuzaki?" He put his fingers to his hair and wiggled them. "I remember he had cornrows at one point. So I learned very early on that there are people who are just leeches, who would want to ride my coattails, use me as a status symbol because I was a model or because I was pretty, or because of my sister. That's why I clung to you, Aominecchi, and the others because I trusted you."

He looked down and played with the bottom hem of his shorts, smiling a little. "You weren't the only one in love with Aominecchi. I was too." He looked up to the sky. "It was love at first sight for me. Right out of a shoujo manga. He was amazing. I stayed in love with him for awhile, even after he changed. Up to our match against each other in Interhigh, I had to give up on the idea of him and me ever happening because it was holding me back."

He took a breath and looked ahead. This was the hard part. "But there was you too." He continued to fidget with his shorts. "I've only told two other people this. It's always been true; I just didn't want to name it before, and this place is a lot more progressive than back home, so it was easier to come to terms with." He's rambling, he knows. "I'm polyamorous. You know, I can be in love with more one person at once?" He doesn't look at Kuroko, keeps looking at the basketball court. "And um, Aominecchi was love at first sight, but I fell for you gradually. Because, well, you know I didn't respect you right away, but then I came to, and... well, you were really important to me. Are really important to me. You're the first memory I got back."

Kise stands, unable to keep still. "That's why I went to Seirin; that's why I was the only one to seek you out after you disappeared on us. Because I wanted to keep playing with you and thought you deserved better." And then shame floods his face. "And you did, and you found it with Seirin."

Kuroko stays quiet, listening to Kise's story. He can understand how something like that would make anyone wary. Once bitten, twice shy. He does offer Haizaki's name when Kise is trying to remember it, but let's face it. Nobody wants to talk about that jerk. Certainly not now.

When Aomine comes up again, Kuroko echoes that smile softly.

"Aomine-kun was amazing. Still is, I think. But... too much has happened for me to see him the same way I did back then."

Aomine's insults and rejections had been a little too cruel for the later apology to erase. Kuroko knows a lot of that stemmed from Aomine's own depression, but that doesn't mean it hurt any less. He shoves those memories aside again when he realizes the conversation has come back to him.

Somehow Kise being polyamorous isn't as surprising as he would have expected. Somehow, that makes a lot of sense for Kise. No, despite all logic, the thing that comes as somehow surprising is Kise's confession of love. Even though it had already been implied by this entire conversation, a fair number of popular songs, and quite a few of his actions back home, it still feels like a revelation to Kuroko. The feeling flutters in his chest and he can feel the heat rising again in his cheeks. But then Kise stands, and Kuroko can hear the shame in his voice.

"That's true. Seirin has done more for me than I thought possible. Kagami-kun especially."

He can't deny that. Kuroko stands as well before he continues.

"But Kise-kun, I still wanted to play with you, too. And, actually.... in this case I think you probably deserve better than me."

Haizaki is the biggest jerk, which is saying something because all the Miracles have had their moments.

"Aominecchi will... Well," Kise remembered some of the other player's depression and casual cruelty that came from his depression. But Kise's always been a little bit of a masochist and didn't mind as much as most people would. He gives a helpless shrug, unable to find words that don't sound like he's defending Aomine's immaturity.

Instead, he turns to look at Kise, eyes wide in surprise.

"What do you mean by that?"

Because it was Kuroko that got hurt by the rest of them.

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I hear the angels talking talking talking now I'm a dead man walking walking walking

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wow, teenagers

Priorities.

What are those? can you eat them?

I bet they're delicious

Murasakibaracchi eats them for breakfast