interstellar5555 | (no subject)

(no subject)

Who: Roxas, Shinichi
What: THEY RETURN! But not all is well.
When: After May 20th (yacht party)
Where: The Penthouse in Virgo for Nuclear Parliament
Warnings: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll.. also heavy mention of drugs (overdose)

After a point of time during this yacht party, Roxas had been lucky enough (or unlucky, depending on how one would look at it) to bare witness to the kinds of things the people he knew close to him would be willing to do for a cheap thrill. Himself included. After this event, like several others but with more severity, he had set out to do better by himself and start anew the week following. But, like any person who has been through this sort of thing before, realistically this was a goal that wouldn't see the light of day.

At least at some point he had it on the horizon.

Though what he had in mind for himself didn't mean life or death, perhaps for others it did. This wasn't a thought that came across to him until he felt the need to use the restroom, as all people do at some point of time. A few minutes, ten at most, was understandable, but after several attempts to get in there and do what he needs to do with no response from whoever was within he'll become persistent, banging on the door to the point of breaking it down.

Had the person on the other end been conscious, they would have heard the voice of Roxas yelling things like "Open up!" and "Are you okay?" and "Come on, I really gotta go" and, lastly but not least, "If you're going to snort that you can do it in your room." Sadly, the latter holds true when he does get the door open, finding what and who he does on the floor. His first instinct is to panic. Which he will do as long as the body on the floor doesn't respond to "Shin? You okay?"

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Shin had managed to drag himself into the bathtub at some point, using the rug as a blanket. Shin is fast asleep in the tub, his breathing even. He's in just his swim trunks and there's throw up in the tub next to him. He's on his side, so thankfully he didn't choke on his own vomit, and with his head on the edge of the tub he managed to not get any in his hair at least.

It takes a minute, but eventually Shin groans and half heartedly waves at Roxas to try to get him to go away.

A half assed hand wave isn't going to tell Roxas that Shin is okay. Especially the way he is and where his body is. Getting sick happens, Roxas has been there himself, but there's something very wrong about this situation. Everything about it indicates that this time Shin might be in trouble.

Panicking isn't an option if that's the case, even though that's high on the list of things he wants to do. "Can you get up?" Roxas asks, moving closer and kneeling down to the tub his friend is curled up in. He does not look good. Goddamnit, Shin, what did you do?

Shin groans and whines, "Sleep." His head feels like it's ready to explode. He doesn't want to move either, not when everything felt sore and every sound made his head pound.

He grumbles and lets his hand drop over the edge of the tub.

No, no no no no.. this can't be happening. Oh, shit. Oh shit. Shit!

Those are the things actually going on in his head right now as he bears witness to this. The way he wants to respond is similar in nature. Instead though, he'll compose himself enough to only mutter a "Damnit, Shin" before deciding he has to move him. Now.

"Come on, buddy. You're not gonna like this." At least he prefaced his actions with a warning, whether or not Shin was receptive to it. After a deep breath in and out, Roxas moves to wrap his arms around the body in the tub and, whether Shin is willing or not, pick him up enough to sling him head over his shoulders, finding that the easiest way to carry someone out of anywhere.

No, it wasn't easy, and yes, it was messy, but it had to be done. He needs to get Shin out of there and somewhere comfortable, like the couch, before he can start to assess what needs to be done next. Hopefully a visit to whatever hospital lays closest won't be in his future, but if that's the case, so be it. As difficult as it is, he manages to get Shin to the couch with enough effort, positioning his legs at one end and upper body at another. If they decide to curl back up into that fetal position, so be it. At least Roxas accomplished getting him there.

"Hey.. hey, you okay? Come on, tell me you're alright. Just tell me you're fine, okay?" Before deciding on what to do next he needs to know that Shin is able to respond to him. If not, well, that's going to warrant further more serious action.

Shin groans as Roxas lifts him up, and his eyes are open as he's put on the couch. "The fuck, Roxas? 'm sleeping," he complains, trying to stand back up, but falling against Roxas again. He doesn't heave before throwing up on the fortunately hard-wood floor.

"Whoops," he mutters with a laugh, holding himself up on Roxas. He's holding onto Roxas, but just barely. His legs start to fold underneath him as he seems to be falling asleep.

This isn't a situation he's been presented with before. But since it's in front of him, and it involves someone he cares about enough, he's going to have to fight that learning curve and figure out what to do now.

"Okay.. I think you need medical attention. This shit isn't normal," he says while looking down at the mess which was the contents of Shin's stomach just earlier. "I don't think you want this in public, so I'm going to have to take you myself.. okay?"

Whether or not Shin is 'okay' with it, Roxas is going to do it. At least, in his mind, he'll be able to sleep a little better knowing he tried to warn him prior to. Though, with all this happening, sleeping well is going to be a thing of the past at this point.

Shin tries to look up at Roxas, having a hard time focusing on him. "I need more vodka, not medicine." He starts to try to walk past Roxas, only to stumble and fall onto the floor. He groans, and tries to pull himself back up.

This shit isn't going to fly on his 'okay' list. A call is going to be made into a clinic now. Phone already pulled out, numbers being dialed after the closest location pinpointed on his GPS-driven map is identified, Roxas is going to try his damn well best to get Shin up on his own. And if he can't, hell, he'll freaking carry his friend to the closest center.

"Okay.. there's more vodka where we're going, alright? You just need to come with me. You'll get all the vodka you want then." Though he has to lie for this portion, he knows it'll mean for the better of his friend. Even if that ends up with his friend hating him.

Like before, it isn't an easy task but he manages to get that semi-limp body up and over his shoulder so he can carry it to the closest center if need be. Which is several blocks away. Damnit. Okay, knowing that won't cut it in time, he orders emergency transfer service courtesy of Virgo Entertainment to be waiting for them outside the building. Hopefully they won't ask too many questions. Protecting his privacy knowing full well of the scrutiny Shin had been under recently was also at the forefront of his mind. But, more than anything, his life took precedence over that.

Whether they do or don't, regardless Roxas will be hauling Shin's body into a vehicle so they can be transported to the clinic he had called recently. Though crabby, the physician on call would be there waiting for them, so it was in the hands of Roxas to make sure Shin reached that destination.

Shin manages to get up with Roxas's help, but complains about being picked up like that. He groans and fights, "Lemme fuggin walk, rock's ass!" He keeps trying to get to his feet so he can stumble, even if it's with Roxas's help.

Yeah, yeah, protest all you have to, Shin. This is happening. Once the service is ordered for them to go to the care center, this shit is happening. Swear all you like and then some.

When they do get to the destination the concierge worker opens the vehicle door to which is Roxas continuing to try his best holding up and getting Shinichi out and on hit feet in any way. As much effort as he's putting into this, once they hit the curb all of that appears to decline into shit. So, with that in mind knowing how urgent it is that Shin gets inside, Roxas picks his ass up and hoists him over his shoulder, carrying him in like a sack of produce collected from a recent harvest.

Once at the front counter, which thankfully he's able to immediately run up to, he states "I called earlier. Roxas. This is Shinichi. He needs attention.. now."

A doctor is coming out immediately with a hospital bed with a transfer sheet so he can be moved easily. He helps Roxas get Shin on the bed.

"What has he taken?"

Shin groans on the bed and leans over to throw up, a bit of blood mixed into the bile. The doctor curses gently and starts taking Shin to the back. "Tell me as we move."

Thank God the bed came out sooner than later. Usually that process takes hours, at best, to happen. So of course when it does, Roxas is going to help. Obviously his friend, the patient here, is in immediate need of attention.

To answer the question, "I don't know honestly, but I know at least a lot of cocaine." That's as honest as he can be at this point. Despite what Shin had or hadn't wanted, and what Roxas had or hadn't wanted, once they reached the point of key card access Roxas was taken aside by security and denied going in.

Despite his protest, which was significant, even with the level of fame he had to back him up the laws that applied towards patient security (or so he had been told) wouldn't allow him back there. Fuck. And despite his protest, fight it he did, he was held back by those laws.

So that left him waiting. Which put a horrible, detrimental pit in the bottom of his stomach that only grew and festered as time went on without response. Who knows how long it had been, minutes or even hours, but any time not knowing what was happening to someone he cared about may as well have been the worst.

Fuck this shit.. he's about to get up and demand entry for whatever reason, but fortunately a practitioner comes forth calling out his name. After confirming his identity Roxas is able to go past those secured doors, following the practitioner, whoever he is, to the room that Shinichi is placed in this intensive care unit until he can be deemed at a stable enough condition to move into a lower level of care.

Those things don't matter to Roxas though, because once he sees Shin, his friend, in a hospital bed the way he is with tubes and wires and whatnot hooked up on his body he can't help but break down inside. Sure, until the practitioner that led him here leaves he's able to keep himself cool, but as soon as they're alone he crumbles into a folded mess into a chair close to the bed Shin is housed in, arms and even head on the body before him.

"Why.. why did this happen? Was it something I didn't do?" As much as this event probably isn't his fault, because he cares of course he thinks it is. And laments towards it. And feels all the effects of someone who would have genuinely felt responsible for any part of this.

Shin is still out of it for a while longer, having been put under by the doctors so he doesn't hurt himself as he comes down. Fortunately they didn't find the need to give him a feeding tube, but they kept an oxygen mask on him.

He eventually slowly opens his eyes, looking at the ceiling for the moment, trying to figure out what is going on.

When that moment of coming to finally happens for Shin, Roxas will have his head planted at the edge of the hospital bed, hair all kinds of messed up and rest of his body slumped over as it tries to get some rest from all this.

At least when his friend does wake up, which he will, he'll know Roxas is right there. And only unconscious for a little while; it's hard to stay asleep for a long period of time with something this serious happening.

Shin falls back to sleep, and then back up a while later. He looks around the room with a groan. Finally his eyes settle on Roxas passed out on the edge of the bed. He notices the IV and becomes more aware of where he actually is. A hospital.

"Roxas? Wha' happened?" He is still rather groggy and confused. The inccessant beeping of the heart monitor seemed to be slamming against his hearing, making him moan with annoyance. At some point throughout their sleep Shin had begun to shake, but all the monitors are registering as normal.

The beep, beep in the background wasn't difficult to sleep through. Since the noise was reliably consistent, thank God, it was easy to relax to the tune of it enough to drift off. Hospitals are noisy, especially the unit they're on, but they had a closed off room and no one else was sharing it with them, so when the sound of something different, a question voiced, is added into the atmosphere Roxas wakes the hell up.

At this point, he looks like shit. But not as bad as someone who has tubes and needles sticking out of various places of his body to seemingly keep him alive. "Shin.. you're awake." When he speaks, Roxas sounds completely drained, like he had been screaming all night at a concert.

"I think you went a little overboard this time."

Shin blinks and looks to Roxas, "What h-happened?" He takes a deep breath of oxygen and blinks, realising his situation. "Is this a hospital?" He still seems really out of it, and his own voice is raw. He had been shouting with Luci for a while.

Give him a moment to sigh heavily, breathing in much needed oxygen before explaining the details here. "You did a lot of coke. In the bathroom you were out of it, so now you're in the hospital."

With a frown, "I thought you were in real trouble this time. According to the doctors here, you kind of were."

"Hospital...?" His eyes widen and he starts to try to sit up, distressed. "Fuck. They're going to be all over this.

"I fucked everything up again." He starts trying to take off the mask. He goes pale and his heart rate rises a little bit, but not enough to set the machine's warning off.

No warning goes off, but the beeping noises do come closer from one to another in frequency. Once he sees Shin trying to remove equipment from himself, Roxas is up to stop this from happening. Why? "Hey, if you put up a fuss like this, the doctors will be in right away and there will be even more trouble. Don't worry, just chill."

Once Shin calms down he sits back down, another heavy sigh in tow. "We came here privately. Names haven't been shared yet, at least in regards to our ties to the label. Everything is as under the wraps as it can be. I think the most important thing right now is that you're okay."

That's probably not an easy concept to grasp right now for Shin.

Shin leans back against the bed, sighing in defeat. "I fucked up. Why am I even here, man? I should have let Luci throw me over." He covers his eyes with a gentle sob. It doesn't even occur to Shin how much it sounds like he was trying to die.

If the physicians hear any of this talk, they might start to speculate that's the case. That would mean longer time here, away from home, away from where he's comfortable. It might be selfish, but Roxas isn't sure he wants that.

But maybe that's better for him. Freaking conflictions..

"Look, you're only human. Everybody messes up. And everybody has a different limit." Though he isn't sure of what he's talking about getting thrown over by Luci, Roxas can only assume it is something bad.

"I'm glad you didn't get thrown over." If that means anything.

Shin offers a brief and weak smile to Roxas. "Last thing I remember was I was fighting with Lucifer. She was chewing me out for..." He looks away, "I g-guess she was right."

Whatever the story is that has yet to be told, "It's okay. That stuff is in the past. Let's focus on right now, alright?"

There's some things he wants to say, but knows better. Now isn't the time. Instead, he'll go the route that's easier. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm dying," he says while keeping his eyes closed. He looks at his shaking hand, "I want a cigarette." He scoffs, "I want a bit of something else too," he looks knowingly to Roxas, hoping his friend might enable him.

Not this time. Shaking his head, "No, not now. That's the last thing you need. Come on, you know where you're at, right?"

He figures it was worth a shot. He sighs and nods, "yeah. I am." He keeps looking at his shaking hand, "And I bet they're gonna want to send me to some fucking detox rehab centre."

The reality behind the situation was that "It's a possibility." They could play it off from here though, say that this was a first time deal, it was by accident, Shin doesn't usually do this sort of thing, and so on.

But Roxas has a feeling if they take that route and Shin comes home after being stabilized, this is going to keep happening. Or worse, he won't make it by the time they get him to a hospital.

He can't live with that thought. "That's not the worst thing though. Come on, even if others knew, tons of famous people have been to rehab. And those bastards are still walking around, making movies and music, revered as idols."

"But the tour.... I can't leave you on that alone." Shin does look remorseful for it. He really hadn't meant to do anywhere near that much. He had gotten lost on it after binge drinking the moment he got home. He lost track of how much he was drinking and blacked out completely long before he started snorting entirely too much coke, having repeatedly forgetting that he had already taken some.

"I'll run away so I can back you up in that if I have to," he promises, looking Roxas in the eye. "I'll go the fuck back if I have to after, but we both know something big is coming up."

It's funny, the tour wasn't even something he had been thinking about. While all this was going on, all his focus went towards Shin. The tour was a big deal, probably one of the biggest deals their record labels will see for a while, but it passed him regardless.

These things would not make their managers happy. And though he'd rather have it that Shin does whatever he needs to do so he gets better, he knows that even if that were to happen, if they miss out on this tour those managers of theirs are probably going to make whatever other ramifications of not getting help are ten times worse.

Goddamn this business.

All he can do to hide the conflicting emotions etching his face now are bring a hand up to it, covering everything but both eyes which look back at Shin. "We'll figure it out." Whatever happens, they'll figure it out.

"We'll have to go on tour. So you'll need to get out of here sooner than later." This isn't the route he would have personally chose, but it's all he can do now. "It's just a few weeks. But," he warns, "You're going to have to be okay with me being on you the entire time. I'm going to need to know what you're doing, where you're doing it, everything. And I won't let up."

Not exactly a fun message to have to deliver, but Shin needs to know he's serious about it this time. He can't take another loss. "You're just going to have to deal with that. Then, afterwards, you're going back. Okay?"

Shin stares down at his shaking hands. "N-not like I g-got another choice." He sighs and sinks into the bed and rolls his head to look at Roxas. "I'm not going to make it through clean though. I... I physically can't."

He holds up his already shaking hands. There's no way he could play the guitar like this, even if he wanted to. Tears start to well up in his eyes as he looks at Roxas, and then looks down and closes his eyes. "It was a bad night, Roxas. It only happened because I drank too much. I know, it's not a good excuse. But, I know what went wrong. I know how to avoid it."

There really wasn't another way around it? Roxas had never been so deep in any kind of substance where he physically couldn't get away, but maybe it was like being stuck in a gang. Or the Organization, from back in his time. Even when he wanted out, he couldn't leave very easily.

When he did, it almost killed him a few times. As much as he wants to be empathetic towards his friend here, he also doesn't want to willfully let him hurt himself like this. That's all this behavior is going to lead to again. "..how? I mean, how are you going to avoid it?"

Shin sighs, "Not drink, for one." He shakes his head, and then woefully looks Roxas in the eyes, "I'm going to cut back.... I'll let you hold onto my shit, only give me a certain amount a day.

"When Luci and I fought and she stopped me, I realised I didn't want to die. I tried to forget about how bad I've been fucking up, and just fucked up worse." His voice cracks and he looks away, trying to save some face.

Not drink? That'll be a struggle for both of them. Maybe it's possible two people abstaining from something can successfully do so. The drive to do so is strong enough, considering the stakes.

"Your shit?" Does he mean the powder? Oh, hell, what is Roxas going to do with that. "I.. I don't know if that's a good idea-" ..but it is better than Shin holding onto it, Roxas won't be tempted to use it the same way. "I mean.. if it's the best, and it'll keep you level enough so we can make it through tour."

Why does this feel so wrong?

"Maybe instead of thinking about how we messed up, we can look to what we're going to do so we can make it better. Right? Everyone messes up." Hasn't he said this before? "It's okay, we'll figure it out. I wish this tour wasn't happening, but we'll probably end up in worse shape if we try to skip it out for any reason." Even potential overdose. "So let's just make it through this. It's only a few weeks. How bad can that be?"

"I need to perform, Roxas, I need this tour," he sighs deeply, choking back a sob. "I swear it was a mistake, a dumb night. I'd told myself that I was going to start cutting back after that night." He is almost pleading, not even sure what exactly he is pleading for.

He looks to Roxas again, putting his hand out to take Roxas'. "I won't lie, I don't want to give it up. I can't imagine being clean, but I don't want to be in and out of the hospital from this kind of thing. I... I should have just gone home and slept after the fight with Luci. Fuck, she's going to be so pissed too."

This kind of stuff is easy to dismiss. But when you actually care about someone, not so much. Yeah, they need to be on the tour, or else the consequences would probably end up being worse than the emergency room. But.. the long term effects? How can he be okay with himself knowing he's doing this to someone he cares about?

Maybe he'll have to up the ante on his own unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to deal. Make it a big unhappy circle of friends and co-workers doing stupid things to get by.

As much of a hard time as he has processing this, there's certain things told to him that are easier to respond to than others. "No, she won't. She can go through me first. Don't worry about it."

Whatever that means is whatever that means. Just take it, Shin, because he's not willing to go into detail any further what he'll do if it comes to. A person can only be pissed off for so long, after all. "I don't blame you about the giving it up thing. I really don't want to give up some of the things I'm doing either. But.. there has to be a line, you know? I think ending up in the emergency room might be one of those things that counts as a line."

With a frown, now that he actually puts thought into it, "If you're not going to do it for people who care about you, at least do it for yourself, or people you care about. You won't be able to see them or do anything with them if this keeps up. Just.. let's figure out a way to moderate it until after this world tour bullshit. Then we can really dig deep and do whatever we need to make it better."

"I'm telling you, it was the alcohol," he pleads. He doesn't want to stop. He doesn't want to die, but he really doesn't want to stop either.

"Roxas, you and Luci are basically the only people I actually care about here. You'd be better off without me," he shakes his head, "I'm not about to end it, but it is what I believe." He sighs, "I don't want to hurt either of you. Not really. I'm sure I do it plenty, and sometimes out of spite, but I'm just a fucking idiot like that."

This isn't even getting sugar coated for Shin's sake. Though he's tired, to the point where he could put his head back down on the hospital bed and nap bending forward like that, the drive to make sure his friend is okay and, now, get that stupid idea out of his head keeps him awake.

"That's not true. I don't care how many times you say that, it's not true. Let's just work on this and getting through this tour then take care of what we need to. We just have to make it through the shows, then we can deal." Since slowly he's succumbing to the tired factor, he'll lower his head onto the edge of the bed anyway, resting it on an arm that keeps him propped up. For now. "We'll figure it out.. okay?"

Shin sighs again and reaches for Roxas's hand. "I said we'd stick through this together. I have no plan on wrecking that."

He'll take it, smiling as he says, "We will."

Holy yawn. "Would it be awful if I rested here for a bit? ..don't draw on my face if I do." Of course there's nothing around to draw on it with, but why not throw in a little mood lightener?

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