interstellar5555 | The Fish

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The Fish

Who: Anyone around Pride HQ
What: A weird fish has popped up in the lobby
When: After the South Vista Music Festival
Where: Pride HQ
Warnings: Carnies and MÄNTICORE

[It popped up one day without warning-- a little fish asking for money in order to live.

What are the folks in Pride HQ going to do?]

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[Well, just for that, he's going to sling his arms around Tooru's shoulders and do a half assed dip off of him.]

I will talk asshole to you all night, if you really want me to.

[And cue the snigger.]

[Tooru fake swoons and let's out an orgasmic sounding gasp, flinging one arm wide and the other over his forehead]

Talk asshole to me, Double A, please.

[And then he snorts out a laugh]

[It says something about the nature of Pride that only a few people glance over to see their ridiculous ass bullshit.]

You are ruder than all the people who have ever fucked and burned down that Swedish goat. Ruder than the time Hamilton told Jefferson that Julius Caesar was better than all his faves. Ruder than all the assholes who faked faerie pictures and made people believe they were real.

So rude I'm not inviting you to my birthday party even though there'll be moonshine soaked cherries.

[Tooru cackles and continues in his over sugary voice]

Oh! Double A! You're making me so wet! Take me now!

Wait, what?

[False hurt crosses his faces and he dramatically pulls away, covering his face as if he's crying] Not invited to your birthday? The one I set up for you? With the balloons filled with glitter!?

I'm hurt! I don't think I'll ever forgive you! You'll have to quit the band!

But Tooru! I can't quit the band!

[Apparently, they are doing a Shakespeare play with how dramatically he kneels on the ground.]

You'd have to hire another percussionist! You might have to hire that chick from FoB!

Ewww no! Not her! No hipsters allowed!

[Everyday is a drama with Tooru, Double A, every fucking day.]

Invite me back to your birthday and I'll forgive you. [He adds a sniff for good measure]

I can never say no when you make that kind of face, man.

[And now cue the shameless personal space invasion, his arms wrapped around Tooru lazily as he grins.]

Of course you're invited back to my birthday party~.

[Tooru wraps his own arms around Artolo, still sniffing]

Thank you, Double A, all's forgiven then and safe from hipsters.

And that last bit is the most important bit.

[He pats Tooru's head and sniggers.]

It really is.

[Tooru snickers as well and pulls back]

Anyways. Hopefully this will be enough to help out the crazies in our label.

[He shakes his head] Honestly. I don't know what some of these people are on.

We're in Pride. It could be any number of things.

...Probably not weed, at least. That shit is supposed to keep you chill. Trust me, I know.

Oh, I know about weed. That's the only drug I've tried. [One didn't go to a music school and not get stoned at least once]

No, these assholes are probably on coke or something. Maybe we should give them weed for Christmas and that'll calm their asses down.

...Solstice weed?

[Oh dear, he's grinning.]

Wrapped in ribbons and all that junk?

[In a breathless voice] Yes.

Let's make it happen Double A!

You get the ribbons and glitter, I know a store that sells it, meet back in an hour?

[He is so delighted by this sudden plan.]

[He flashes a V for victory sign]

I'm on it!

See you later!

[And he goes running off.]

[...And then comes running back right past Tooru, swearing under his breath and going for the penthouse? Yeah, asshole forgot he stuffed his whole wallet in with Nemo.]

Forget something, Double A?

[He's oh so helpfully pointing at Nemo]

I knew it was bad idea.

Listen, Nemo needs to not die, okay!? That'll come in handy some day!

[Despite the horrendously bad idea that it is, he twists on his feet to walk backwards so he can point at Tooru.]

I have a spare wallet back in the penthouse so I'll be fine!

Yeah, come in handy for Xanxus.

[Let's be real, Xanxus will be arrested before any of them]

Don't they have their own bail jar?

We both know that's going to go fast. Don't start giving people the benefit of the doubt now.

Clearly Nemo needs a bodyguard.

...Or Solstice Weed will hopefully calm all the fuckers down.

One can hope. It'll probably only be partially successful.

Nemo needs a fucking infrared laser system protecting him.

Don't think I'm that rich yet, man.

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worthlesspride - 2016-01-04 04:56 (UTC) - Expand

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