interstellar5555 | Fate meant it to be [closed]

Entry tags:

demyx,
roxas

Fate meant it to be [closed]

Who: Demyx and Roxas
What: Two musicians with a past all too familiar meet up at a musical equipment store looking for different things (to buy), but looking for similar things (reason)
When: Mid April
Where: Best band equipment selling store that also has an ice cream shop next to it
Warnings: At best vulgar. Other than that, TBA

With all the memories that have come rushing towards him in his extended period of sleep, Roxas has been left a little off his balance here. There has been way too much that has populated his mind of what was, what would have been, what should have been.. and everything about where he is now disagrees with that, upsetting this supposed balance he thought he had.

So, to cope with it in a way that doesn't involve serious self-destruction, he'll be at the most popular store available that sells band equipment and is closest to an ice cream shop. If anyone asks, he's looking for anything to accentuate the sound that drums have to offer. But really he's just looking for a distraction. All this is too much to take. Where is ---- when Roxas needs him?...

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"Not for...oh that's right. You left." Demyx did know, he was sure he knew most of it, it was just mixed up in his mind, needed sorting out. He had a headache already and he rubbed at his forehead irritably.

"If the subject fails to respond, use aggression to liberate his true disposition. I remember." Demyx repeated softly, staring a little bit into the distance as he did. He blinked a few times and shook his head. "I can worry about that when we're not here."

They were going back, weren't they? He twitched his hand a few times and frowned. Nothing. He held up his palm flat, again nothing.

"...I can't do anything." He admitted, swallowing. "I can't feel the water...I can't sense it, ugh." Did Roxas understand how disconcerting that felt?

"Drowning it out sounds good right about now. It'd be easier than trying to sort through this mess." The block was lifted, but he needed to sort it out himself.

"I'm just figuring it out, yeah." Demyx whined a little. "I don't think I like it. It's...it's painful!"

Sure, it's easy to not think about that thing when you're not in the situation that forces you to be presented to it.. and as easy as it is, the feelings that arise from the situation itself are anything by easy. Roxas wishes he could convey that to Demyx here, but he knows better. It isn't something he can part on as knowledge; Demyx has to come on that himself. Which sucks.

But whatever. That's how life is, apparently. Here, anyway.

Yeah, Roxas understood enough what it was like having and then losing something you were connected with. Not just one thing, but many at that. His journey has been, at least, difficult, but he's here, so clearly not fatal. Still, he understand how uneasy it is to be going through these things.

It makes him want to comfort Demyx best he can, but even if he does, he knows it will have little effect... because it did on him. Damn past experiences. Best he can, though, he'll pat Demyx on any shoulder available to him, "Please don't. It isn't the best, definitely painful, among others, but there's better ways to go about dealing with it."

With a sigh, because maybe if he had these things himself then he wouldn't have done what he has thus far and regret to an extent, "You can find another way. With help," a gentle squeeze here, "especially."

It did suck to be suffering a sudden onslaught of feelings, a sudden surge of emotions that sorted through his memories and made him think of what he should have been feeling then. It was a lot to take and blocking things out was a much better way of doing it.

"I don't know how to deal with it." Demyx responded finally. "Do you know how long it's been since I felt anything? Hn." He whined lightly. It was a lot to take in, a lot to process. He was not meant to be a deep thinker.

"Another way? What do you mean?" Demyx asked, blinking. He let out a pathetic little laugh. "No one is going to help me. With what?" His arms were wrapped around his middle protectively.

That's fair. As Nobody's there wasn't exactly a class on 'what to do once you get your heart back' explaining how to handle the emotions that can be, at best and worst, crippling. If Roxas wasn't at the supposed near-end of his life come time when he realized he had these feelings, he may have reacted the same way.

"I can only imagine. I mean.." Ah, what's the thing he's looking for? Healthy coping mechanisms? He hasn't exactly been the poster boy for that, so he's in no place to lecture, but.. he has to try. "It might be a good idea to sit just down and think it all through.. you know? Sort it out one by one, instead of trying to figure it out all at once. Map it out, draw it out, write it out.. whatever. Just get it out there so it's not inside, eating at you."

There hadn't been a class and even if Xemnas had been interested in actually fulfilling his promise, he likely wouldn't have cared about them when they left his Organization, whole again.

"It's a mess in here, I think. Things are out of order and I'm confused. I don't know what happened when they changed..." His brow furrowed. What had the label done to him?

"Let it out." He exhaled. "Words were never my thing but..." He wiggled his fingers. "If I had a sitar."

Ah, that musical expression thing. Of all the things, Demyx definitely excelled at that. If only he did have a sitar. Unfortunately, the place they're at - grand as it is - doesn't sell those. He doesn't want to break it to Demyx like that, so instead, "Hey.. you want to get some ice cream? It'll probably make you feel a little better."

It always works with Roxas. Memories and all.

That was a big if. It wasn't surprising that there wasn't a sitar lying around, after all even in his world it was a rare thing. Demyx let out a breathy laugh, his nerves filled to the brim. "Yeah. Yeah let's go eat ice cream."

He didn't have the fond memories but junk food was comfort food.

They may not have had similar 'emotional' ties to ice cream, as much as they're afforded, but Roxas knows it can't do anything to put down a mood. "Okay.. here, it's right around the corner from this place."

Assuming Demyx is going to follow him out, Roxas leads the way through and out of the music store and, like he said, right around the corner to a tiny little ice cream parlor. There aren't many flavors available, but something is better than nothing. Especially at times like this. "They don't have much.. the typical, you know. What are ya thinking?"

He did follow Roxas, being strangely quiet. Demyx was not normally a quiet guy, but he didn't want to go rambling on and on in the street like a lunatic.

He looked at the choices carefully and decided that he couldn't decide.

"A banana split, I think." Demyx said with a nod. "Different kinds of ice cream that way." Maybe it would make him feel better, but he didn't really know.

That sounds like a good option. So, when the vendor is ready, Roxas requests a vanilla (yes, boring vanilla, it's all he wants) and then the closest thing they can come to a banana split. There are two of them working the parlor, and they're effective enough to have the product ready sooner than one would think.

Though it isn't glamorous, Roxas is pretty happy about having this tasty, sugar infused frozen dairy treat in front of him. They should sit, which he indicates by finding a table and claiming a chair, wasting no time once he has on the ice cream in hand. "This.. does feel a lot better already, actually."

Probably the sugar rush.. but hey, it's working.

Demyx could only nod in agreement, although it seemed weird to just focus on something to eat for a little while. He didn't eat a whole lot as a Nobody, it just wasn't important to him. He didn't have the friend connection Roxas did to the cold treat.

However, it gave him something to focus on, something he could ground himself with.

"I don't know about that but...but it's good for a minute. I think it's good for a minute."

Sometimes it's easier to think with that little distraction, especially when it's tasty. That and Roxas does not do well at this kind of thing, the whole confronting your feelings and figuring out what to do next, crossroads, all that not-fun stuff. He's had enough of it for a life time, anyway.

"So.. with everything going on, what's your plan? What are you thinking about doing?" Stay with this music business, leave and try to find reason.. maybe nothing at all, even.

"I don't...I don't know." Demyx murmured and rubbed his forehead. He took another bite of ice cream, turning the spoon on his tongue. He let the silence linger for a second.

"I think if I don't hurry back, I'll probably be hunted down, so." Demyx said, leaving it open ended. That was the problem with it, if he left, he was a traitor. As bad as Roxas, although he didn't really remember the details of that.

He felt like he was trapped, and he was, literally, but between one cage and another, which was worse? At least here he wasn't isolated and had a lot more freedoms than he was used to.

"I thought about staying here, but since the Superior can track me, there'd be no point."

Vanilla ice cream, welcome to being half eaten. There is no such thing as brain freeze in this kid's world. Since he's thought his this himself, it doesn't take long for him to counter the idea. "But if that was the case.. wouldn't I have been tracked by now? I've been here a while. You'd think of all people, the big bad traitorous XIII would've been first on his list?"

Unless Demyx pulled off something way worse.

He hadn't pulled off something worse, but what he had done was fail to bring Roxas back to the Organization. It was pretty awful in Saix's eyes.

"I...well yeah, but he always said if we left, he'd find us." Demyx blinked at Roxas. He'd been spoonfed those lines for years. He believed every one of them.

It's been so long since he's had to deal with any of this, he almost forgot about it except at night when he would inadvertently dream about it. Being stuck in that group was akin to being raised in a cult. It didn't really hit him that maybe Demyx was right. Maybe their former ring leader could find them where they're at.

The last bit of ice cream is going to have to wait, because he feels the need to turn around and survey the area. Just in case. "I don't.. think so? I mean.. it would've happened. It doesn't take long. I know it doesn't, I've been through it before."

Good-bye, frozen treat. It's gone. "If they try to take us anyway, they'll have to deal with the managers and whatever power they have." There's a curious portion of him that would like to see that fight play out. "Those guys are connected to something powerful. I can't even explain it."

He wasn't the only one. Roxas' paranoia triggered Demyx's, and he looked around like Saix might be right there, breathing down his neck. He shuddered lightly and focused on his ice cream instead.

"Yeah. Yeah he'd come for us. Unless he can't..."

Demyx frowned and shook his head. "No the Superior is stronger. He's always been strongest!" He didn't know much about the executives, but Xemnas was no slouch and if he wanted to get them back, he would.

"There's nowhere to run." He murmured, partly under his breath, glancing around again as if that mutinous statement was going to be overheard.

Even if all that is true, even if the Organization finds and comes for them in full force, "You know.. I'm ready. If they want to come and get me, fine, I'm not going without a fight though. They've already taken away everything before," them and some others at that, "So what's another chapter of history repeating itself?"

Basically, "Screw it."

It was because of the feelings that his laugh sounded slightly hysterical. Roxas wasn't going without a fight? He had the luxury. While Demyx was not the slouch he pretended to be, there were several members of the Organization who could destroy him, three times over.

"That's good for you." It was kind of strange, talking to someone who was a traitor. At least, that's what Saix told him. What Roxas had actually done, he had no idea.

"Tick, tock, I'm just waiting to die if I don't go back." He'd only had half his ice cream and he pushed it away from him with a disgusted grunt.

There's a look of confusion that hits Roxas when Demyx mentions that. It doesn't occur to him that maybe Demyx thinks they're playing on different teams here. "But.. there's two of us here. We'd have an infinitely better chance that way, right?"

And why refuse the rest of the ice cream?

The thought of his demise, the thought of being branded a traitor was enough to turn his stomach. A lot of things in that conversation had the potential for that but that was the tipping point. Ultimately he just did not want to die.

He did think they were on different teams, he did think Roxas wasn't going to help him, why would he? He was the Organization screw up, what did Roxas get out of keeping him alive?

The question made his jaw drop.

"I...uh, I guess that would be true, but why would you help me?"

Why was never even a question. Why not? It isn't like Demyx is a bad.. person, now? If it was Saix, he wouldn't think about it. If it was Larxene, he definitely wouldn't think about it. But Demyx wasn't horrible.

They come from the same place after all. And after all the other losses going on around here, it's nice to have someone to stick up for.. and who might do the same?

With a shrug, as if he doesn't understand the question, because he kind of doesn't, "Just because? I don't have a reason not to. We're both kind of stuck here, so it makes sense." Doesn't it? Maybe Roxas is, once again, falling prey to naivety.

They did come from the same place, that same place that led him not to trust others around him, a place where the other members would not hesitate to stab him in the back. Roxas maybe didn't know it was that cutthroat, why the help was a surprise.

"I...you're sure you want to be paired with me?" He looked a little sheepish. "I mean, I'm not really good at fighting and I can't right now anyway. I don't have any skills or any powers or anything right now."

Demyx felt weak, vulnerable and a little lost without those things, but he would persevere. It wasn't that he wouldn't want someone to stick with, he'd just never had that.

Fortunately in the environment they're currently in, "Fighting isn't the only thing that matters. We don't always have to fight. There's other ways to figure things out." Though Demyx had Roxas on a little scare, he's still pretty sure that none of the others are going to hunt them down. Not here, of all places.

"I think it'll be okay." The biggest thing that Demyx should be worried about, if anything, is getting his instrument back. And dealing with those feelings. Not having those for a long time then suddenly getting hit by them is like getting smacked in the face with a tidal wave. "Maybe instead of worrying about that, figure out the other thing first? Might be easier to sort through anything else when you're used to that. It kind of takes a while, too."

"We don't always have to fight." He murmured in wonder. Demyx didn't particularly care for fighting, he never had. It was just the default of what they had to do. It had always been expected of him.

A reminder that was not entirely welcome. Demyx began to play with his spoon, turning it over in his hands.

"How do I do this?" He asked Roxas. "Do you know? I, uh, since it happened, I've been feeling..." He didn't even know how to finish that sentence anymore.

"It's too much. Everything is too much. I think my chest hurts." Yet, he knew that he'd been guarding his heart close. "I don't want it to hurt. I'm trying to remember what it was like, before I knew I shouldn't be feeling things."

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