interstellar5555 | I hear the angels talking talking talking now I'm a dead man walking walking walking

Who: Ryouta Kise and you! Also Xanxus.
What: Ryouta can't keep his head in the sand anymore
When: After "Ankh" posts to his twitter account
Where: Virgo HQ, Vista City Park, the beach (Xanxus only)
Warnings: Heaving emotional turmoil, a breakdown, and in the Xanxus locked thread; Xanxus and all the issues to go with him.

Ryouta hates his home.

He hates it so much. He wants to move. He just doesn’t know how.

Aoba’s gone, Kaworu’s gone, Tsuna’s gone, Nia’s gone. It’s just him, Momo, and Ankh.

Except Ankh isn’t Ankh. He knows it isn’t. He’s too happy, doesn’t twitch as much. Just everything is off. And ever since he learned to copy things by just watching the amount of visual information he’s processing has increased so he knows Ankh has been replaced. He can’t prove it, but he knows.

So he spends all of his free time outside of the suite. In they gym, in the cafe, anywhere but his suite, where he only goes back to sleep at night. He wonders what will happen. Last time it was down to the three of them Nia and Tsuna came, but… He just doesn’t know what’s going to happen to Surviving Friday.

Which means the second album he’s been working on is going to be trashed. And he hates that. He’s been planing on releasing an EP, like Genos and Roy have, he can salvage some of his Generation of Miracles concepts for his EP. He’s has “Dead Man Walking” recorded (Xanxus had helped a lot with that). “Irresistible” has Ankh singing, but he can replace that with his own voice. He has demos of other songs made along. It’s just a matter of piecing it together now.

If he can make his brain work that is.

He’s so scared. Flowers over Bones is gone, which means Luce is gone. And Luce was his go to person for comfort, and the Doctor was pretty cool too. And Ivan. And Sora’s gone. That hurts a lot too. Sora was his best friend. Rarity’s gone too. He didn’t have much interaction with her, but he had wanted to get to know her better.

Why is everyone disappearing? He knew something was weird, with all the weird memories and stuff, but he ignored it, hoping everything would turn out okay.

Obviously, that didn’t happen. He had his head in the sand for too long and now he doesn’t know anything. He’s scared, hurt, and confused that it takes all his well to not cry in the middle of the hall.

Prombts Below

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He had been putting this off for a while. But he figured it was time. He and Xanxus had been together for a while now, just not officially. And that’s okay, everyone has different paces, but the way Xanxus keeps talking to him… he makes Ryouta feel special. He knows he’s not the only person Xanxus is sleeping with, just like Xanxus isn’t the only person he’s slept with, though that number is a lot lower.

So he’s decided it’s time to take their relationship and move forward with it. Be boyfriends, lovers, partners, or whatever the best term is.

It’s been four months since he told Sora and Luce he was polyamorous. He’s more then okay with Xanxus being with others. But he wants to make it official with Xan. He doesn’t care if Xanxus continues see others, or even if Xanxus makes them official too, he just wants acknowledgment that there is something wonderful between them, and respect that he might do the same with others.

So he had called Xanxus, asked him to meet him here, said he wanted to spend sometime with him before the world tour.

Xanxus hadn't know what the calls was actually for. He has assumptions of course. It might be a bit of a booty call and he's all for that. As much as he's sleeping with a laundry list of people, he also enjoys Ryouta still. Despite what the tabloids said, he wasn't going to get bored of such a great lay.

He waits on the beach, standing and looking out towards the ocean. He's frowning. He's got memories of beaches just like this, only there was a lot more screaming and burning.

He doesn't turn when he hears steps on the sand. "The sea is calm today. It's almost perfect for a swim."

"I didn't think to bring a swim suit," Ryouta said. "Not that could really stop us."

He walked to stand beside the older man, and smiled at him. "Hey, thanks for coming." He looked out at the sea and made a content sound. This was good. He could do this.

He was nervous, of course he was, anyone would be.

"I... I've been thinking a lot lately, about the future, about our works." His smile becomes a bit shy. "About us. Only good things, and that's because everything's been good."

He laughs a little at the comment. That's indeed true. They've had sex in a basketball stadium bathroom a little skinny dipping is nothing. He is about to reach out and loop an arm over Ryouta when the younger man continues.

His thoughtful look turns a little darker as the blond talks. It turns darker because he's been doing some thinking to, but it's not about anything good. And not at all about Ryouta, other than a stronger urge to be more and more possessive.

"Of course everything's been good. I take care of what's mine."

"Yeah, I know," Ryouta said, smiling softly. "And so, I was thinking that maybe..."

He reached out and took Xanxus' hand in his. "That maybe we could be official?"

He turned his head to look at Xanxus. "Like, be open still, because I know you like a lot of people, and I'm like that too, poly, you know."

He was babbling, he knows, but he can't help it. He's nervous and this is a big step.

Xanxus just stares at the blond. Not just stares, it's almost like a hard glare. His eyes flick down to the hand holding his. There's a urge to shove Ryouta away. To call him stupid and tell him that he shouldn't think. Pretty boys weren't supposed to do anything but be pretty and available. There was also a little surge of possession. He didn't want to share. What was his was his. Even if he slept around, he wanted to keep Ryouta all to himself. He knows it's not fair and that such thoughts were dangerous.

"Official? Like fucking dating? You've got to be joking. Second we say we're dating all sorts of shit will happen." Like he's certain that the rest of his regular partners would quit sleeping with him because they wouldn't want to be with some cheater. "We're fine like this. We don't have to put a goddamn label on it."

"Not if we're honest."

This isn't going how he thought it would be going. Ryouta's not sure if he should let go of Xanxus' hand or hold on tighter, so he just doesn't move. "I mean, I don't care if you sleep with others, that's why I'm suggesting an open relationship."

He knows he should shut up. But Ryouta's never been a slave to good judgement. And he knows that things are worth standing his ground. Nothing worth anything at all should be fought for.

He just doesn't know what to say.

"I... just really like you Xan. I think I might even be in love with you."

Honest? Honest?! Like they could even be honest. This entire life was a lie. All of it. Xanxus knew that now. He knows the truth. He was in the Mafia. He was going to be the strongest Godfather there ever was. Even if he stayed in music, he could never ever be honest, not to Ryouta or anyone else.

He sort of growls a little and his hand tightens. He's a lot stronger than he used to be. Something's happened recently. Those weird guys had given him back some of his strength. "Don't. Don't say that. We're just fucking. Even if we were boyfriends or whatever, I'm not someone you should love."

"Ow! Xanxus! You're hurting me!" Ryouta stared at their hands, starting to panic. He looked up at Xanxus, eyes wide with fear.

"I just..." he's beginning to tear up. Hurt from the rejection, hurting from the pain in his hand. "But you..."

Xanxus had always been so sweet to him. Had taken him out for that date to the basketball game, he had held his hand while he got his tattoo.

"You've... been so nice to me," he knows he's rambling now, but he doesn't know what else to do.

He stops slouching a little. He's just as tall as Ryouta, but he still goes to loom, putting on his strongest, most intimidating look. His eyes are sharp almost angry. "That's right. I am. Because that's who I am. I hurt people, Ryouta. And I'll hurt you." He's held back a lot of that, kept his violent tendencies to himself, but here, alone with Ryouta, he's slipping.

"I've been nice to you because you're a good lay. Because I like having you in my bed. But more than that..." He had to be honest here with Ryouta. For both their own good. "More than that and I really will start hurting you. I won't be able to hold my temper in check and if we're together, you'll be my closest target. Is that what you want? Do you really want to date someone that will probably end up killing you some day."

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. "You were more than nice to me!" he said. "Because I sleep around too, but I never went on fucking dates with them like we did." He pulls at his hand. "Let go," he ordered. "You don't want to be with me fine, just don't make up some bullshit about killing me!"

He believes that Xanxus could, and would, hurt him, if only because he's hurting him now.

I hear the angels talking talking talking now I'm a dead man walking walking walking

III - The Beach Near Virgo Headquarters - Xanxus (CW: Xanxus, violence, and abuse)

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