interstellar5555 | you should have told me

Entry tags:

you should have told me

Who: Finnick and Dino
What: ~~Finnick's going full band-mom~~ talking about BAD STUFF
When: backdated a million years to after the breakfast log on January 19th
Where: H&C penthouse/Finnick's room
Warnings: Probably talk of the Naomi Rivers Incident^TM, will edit if needed!

Finnick almost regrets saying anything about it. He doesn't want to talk about it and he doesn't want to have to burden his new band mates with anything like this, but if they're going to be able to protect themselves, they need to know. Apparently, starting with Dino.

Throughout the rest of breakfast he remains smooth and charming, and even on the way back he doesn't acknowledge that he's said anything ominous. It's only once they're through the door of the Hue & Cry penthouse that Finnick addresses Dino and nods toward his room. To their band mates it could just be Finnick showing Dino something he's been working on, maybe a song with an spot for Dino to do something interesting with his cello.

Needless to say, it's not that, and once Finnick is closing the door behind Dino he sighs. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so cryptic at breakfast," he says.

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Dino's a strong guy, even if he doesn't look it, or particularly always act like it. There's something deep within him that can handle whatever is thrown at him--he remembers odd things occasionally that remind him that something's weird about him--and he won't let this be any different.

When he's summoned to follow Finnick, he doesn't question it, carefully keeping concern off his face and tossing a smile and a shrug at no one in particular as he follows. Something wasn't right at breakfast, and he's probably about to find out why. A risky thing, it seems. Or, you know, they could be jamming out a song. Goodness knows.

He finds out quickly enough. "It's fine. Weird, but fine. I trust you not to do something stupid."

Finnick huffs a sharp laugh. "I'm not entirely sure you should," he says. It's an off-hand comment, and he switches gears back to serious as he pulls out the chair from his desk and sits down.

"I just didn't think it would be wise to tell you to be careful in front of everyone," he says. "There have been strange things happening around here, even stranger before you started."

"Okay," Dino chuckles lightly, waiting for the other shoe to drop, which it indeed does. The way Finnick shifts to such seriousness so quickly makes him nervous somehow, uncertain. He's supposed to be able to trust the band blindly, so he does. What's with this?

"What kind of things?"

Finnick knew the question was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier to answer once it does. He can't tell Dino about the party, not in detail; he's spent so much time trying to push it out of his mind.

"Let's just say there's something else going on with Blanche and Santiago and everyone who works for them," Finnick says, gesturing toward the door with a deep frown. "It's just wiser not to trust anyone unless you know they're not... under their influence."

That frown disconcerts Dino even more, and he feels a little tremble threatening to run through him. He knows he should walk away from this, maybe not ask, never know, but there's a part central to him that desperately needs to know the truth, and see the heart of everything around him.

"What kind of influence?" He can't imagine... "Playing favorites? Buying people off?"

"It's much bigger than that," Finnick says, and now it's more like he's worn out than paranoid. He just keeps seeing Naomi Rivers in his head over and over again, in that ballroom, and god it's exhausting.

"They have these powers, and I know that sounds crazy. Believe me, I know, but anyone at the company could be under Blanche's control and I just want you to be careful what you say to people in other bands. We just have to be cautious."

"Powers." If Dino sounds disbelieving, well, don't be too surprised. But he hears that worn tone, so unlike what he expected. With those words... they should be much less calmly delivered. Cautious though? Other bands?

"That... that doesn't make any sense. What would I even have to say?" He chuckles uncomfortably, smiling with all the tension and false cheer one would have in this.

"Anything negative at all," he says, his voice almost pleading now. "Don't question what they do, not to anyone but the people you trust. The punishment might be... harsh."

He's already been forced to do such awful things, had his free will essentially taken away, and he's done nothing but try and do his job. And the memories... he still suspects in part that they were sent to torture him, make him question his own morality. Scare him into being compliant.

Anything negative? Who the heck doesn't occasionally disagree with the state of things? "Alright, but then how do I know who to trust?" Dino's eyebrows are up, and he looks concerned. He's trying not to think this is complete insanity. He's trying to believe in Finnick.

Because something is telling him, ever so quietly, that none of them are real. Or who they say they are. Or what they should be.

"Either tell me everything or tell me nothing." There's a cool command in Dino's tone. It's not the Dino who walks around every day, almost always smiling, being perfectly jovial and kind to all. This guy... "You're not talking getting fired."

"I don't know, I haven't even seen everything that's happened, but I..." Finnick looks away, working his jaw as he gathers up the courage to talk about it. This is the first time that he'll actually be telling the story to anyone, and he doesn't trust himself not to get overwhelmed. He surges ahead anyway, after a deep breath.

"Back in December, there was a party, for the solstice. It was hosted by Naomi Rivers, who is - was - a very successful performer with Virgo. She invited the bands from Pride as a show of good faith, or.. or something, but as it turned out they were actually there so we could..."

His voice catches, wringing his hands together. He's afraid that Dino's going to think he's a monster.

"At some point during the party, everyone from Virgo became compelled to kill the musicians from Pride. We knew what we were doing and it felt like we wanted it, and it was... well, I don't know how all of them survived. I almost..." Finnnick trails off again, shaking his head. Terry forgave him, but he still can't forgive himself, or at least he can't shake the feeling that it's going to happen again and he'll actually follow through with it this time. He swallows, waving that off. If Dino wants to hear about it, it can be after this.

"Anyway, once the damage had been done, Santiago and Blanche showed up. Naomi was the one that made all of us do it, so Santiago... it looked like she had claws, and she... she ripped out Naomi's heart. Blanche didn't bat an eyelash, and then Santiago took everyone from Pride and left, and we came back here and no one's talked about it since."

Dino looks very pale as this continues, his eyes widening as he listens, drops his hands to his sides, and tries to parse this. Because it can't be real. It can't. Nobody just says this sort of thing, though, and part of him... part of him says he's seen destruction and death personally and intimately enough to not be shocked.

He steps in, concerned, trying not to follow that half-controlled urge to vomit at the mere thought. The other half of him is cold and calm, ready to defend against this should it ever happen again, and that's when something goes off in his mind. Something that didn't happen to him in more ways than it did, something about people who were practically monsters, people fighting with unnatural abilities, something about himself.

"Nobody talks about it? Do people actually remember it?" His expression blanks, and he moves to sit down wherever the hell he can.

"I think so, I don't see why they wouldn't, unless they were making too much noise and Blanche decided to shut them up," Finnick says, sounding completely defeated. He wants to curl up, fall asleep and not wake up for years to come, but that's not exactly an option right now.

"I told you about this so you would know how dangerous it can be here, and that's why we have to stick together. Naomi did that to everyone at once, and Blanche is even more powerful than her. I'm sure other strange things have gone on, but that... if they can just make you want to do anything, make you want to kill a person who hasn't done anything wrong..." Finnick looks up at Dino now, praying that he understands.

"Holy--" Dino stops himself, shaking his head, because it really is unfathomable that they could be forced into anything like that. He takes a breath, ducks his head, runs a hand through his hair, and the odd sensation of remembering a... dream, maybe? It eats away at the edges of his mind for a moment.

He "understands" even if it doesn't make sense. This isn't right. Whatever this is, it isn't right, it doesn't feel logical, but if it is what it is and how it is...

"Why, though? I mean, why can they do that? Or how?" Because Dino has only killed by choice. He's killed?

"There's something really wrong. Seriously. I'm having weird dreams or... I don't know."

When Dino mentions the strange dreams, Finnick's eyes go wide.

"What kind of dreams?" he asks, too eager for the answer. Finnick's dreams have ranged from peaceful to horrific, but they're too consistent to be brushed off as dreams and he knows that. He's just been too scared to deal with them.

Dino looks at the ceiling, then the wall, anywhere but Finnick. "You're going to think I'm some kind of a psycho or something if I tell you about this." A breath. This makes no sense, it's completely insane, but Dino feels like a little revelatory switch has been flipped.

"I had two that were really weird, but they felt real, okay? One of them..." Can he sit down? He needs to sit down. On the floor is even fine. "A turtle eating a boat. Me with a gun. Some baby with a lizard. And then I killed a bunch of people." He waves his hands. "I don't know how to tell you how real it felt, but it was more like... a flashback, not a dream? That's impossible, right? Me killing people!"

Finnick frowns down at the floor, chewing his lip and trying to figure out if he should talk. Dino's told him this much and Finnick should at least validate him if he can.

"I've seen myself killing people as well," he says after a long silence. "I don't know what it means, but you're right. It doesn't feel like a dream."

"There's actually a lot of things that I don't remember, or I remember them differently at different times. I don't know how to explain that part. I keep thinking I should go to a doctor, but if this is something else weird going on... You're saying to watch what I say, and I've got no intention of telling anyone that I have dreams where I shot some guy in the heart..."

It's vivid. Right now, as he says it, casually, even. The Dino that was and should be, not the Dino that is, is standing there.

"This is really strange, and we're caught in the middle of it. We're having dreams about murdering people. That's not just stress."

"No it's not," Finnick says, tired. He doesn't like talking about this; it's so much easier to just pretend it doesn't happen and move on with his life. This is important, though, and he wants to make sure he's not just wasting his breath.

"I just need to know that if you go looking for answers about this, you won't put yourself at risk. None of us can afford to lose too many friends here."

Dino stands there, feels his knees going weak, and just kind of sits on the floor.

"I don't even know what I would do. I want to know now. I don't want to not know. But what would I say or look for or..." He feels like a stranger in his own body. Something. Isn't. Right.

"I want to figure this out, but you're telling me not to?"

"I'm telling you it might be dangerous if you push too hard. I want to figure it out too but I want to stay safe - I want all of you to stay safe. People keep getting fired and strange things keep happening; who's to say it's not all in an effort to keep us from looking?"

Finnick's sincere, eyes wide and scared. "Just, please stay safe. That's all I'm asking."

"Obviously!"

Panic. There's a little panic. Everything feels surreal and he's not sure what's the truth and what's fiction. Why doesn't anyone talk about it? Maybe they can't do anything, but he thought people liked him well enough to tell him things that are important. At least Finnick is. At least he cares.

It turns his stomach, the whole thing, and he looks a little pale.

"There's... there's no way we're going to be okay, if people are killing people, and just disappearing."

"If we play along, we'll be fine," Finnick says, trying to sound confident in the assertion. He's not, he knows that some people who did nothing wrong have been fired or had bad things happen to him, but he has to believe that something will keep him safe.

"...I can't..." Play along, he thinks, but he can and will if that's how he stays safe and under the radar. All it's conjuring up is a world he thinks he remembers and being kicked and punched and bullied in every conceivable way. Certainly not this.

Not. This.

"I'm freaking out."

"Dino, please," Finnick says, trying to be firm but there's still some pleading in his voice. This looks like it's on its way to backfiring, but Finnick can't let it it get that far. "You can't lose your head over this. We have to lay low."

"Right." He takes a deep breath, actually a few, and clasps his hands together on his lap. This won't do. He really can't freak out. He has people to protect and who rely on him, right?

"Right. I'll... just sit on this, I guess."

Finnick frowns down at the floor and shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He's not good at offering support, but...

"If you need someone to talk to," he starts, awkwardly. He's not really sure he's capable of providing emotional support right now but he can at least listen right? Listen and nod along. Yeah, he can do that.

"Yeah." Breathing is hard, but he's doing it. He has to stay calm. He'll be okay. This is... either a fucked-up dream or a reality he has to deal with now. Listening and nodding will probably help.

"I mean, thanks for telling me. I don't need to be in the dark. I don't want to be."

"I didn't want to scare you, but at least this way we can be prepared," Finnick says, still trying to express the weight of this and how terrified he is without actually having to say it. He's not much in the way of prideful, but he doesn't like showing weakness, and telling someone you're scared of them certainly counts as weakness.

"Are you kidding me? I've never been so scared in my life." He laughs uncomfortably. "I want to trust you, and the others, and the label, and the fans. Now I can't trust anyone but myself."

Dino just shakes his head shortly, and stops thinking. Just... stops thinking.

"It'll be okay, right?"

Finnick takes a deep breath, like he's thinking it over. It's hard to think about, but he has to hold out hope. He has to believe that there's some light at the end of the tunnel.

"It'll be fine."

He's supposed to be stronger than this. Dino has a great, grand, sudden sense that he's not supposed to be afraid. It hurts his head and heart to think about that, though.

"I trust you, because you told me this, but who else?"

Finnick shrugs and shakes his head. He hates talking about any of it, so it's not like he's spilled his feelings to that many people. "Everyone who was at the party knows what happened, and I met with the boy from Pride afterward... There are strange things going on there as well. I try not to talk about the dreams too much."

The dreams. So faint and fake and weird, so Dino has tried not to put any stock in them, favoring just rolling out of bed and washing his face before trying to drift back to sleep.

"It'll all come out, I bet. Someday, I mean. We can't... just be part of whatever this is."

"Maybe," Finnick says wistfully. "But if we try to force it, we'll get burned. I just don't want to see that happen to you or to anyone."

"I don't want to lose this, or anyone, or anything." But most of all, himself.

"If I see anything or hear anything or... whatever's weird, do you want me to tell you? Will it help?"

"Maybe," Finnick says again. He doesn't want to commit to anything or be caught up in some conspiracy that will ultimately tear him down. "Maybe if you find people you can trust, talk to them, find out what they know... Maybe something can happen. But I don't know what that is yet."

"Alright." Dino shakes his head and stands. It's going to process eventually, but today is not that day. Until then, paranoia. All the time.

"I think I need to go do something. I don't... probably practice. That'll help."

Finnick doesn't want to keep him, and he feels bad for dumping all of this on him like this. Maybe he only did it so he'd feel less like he was carrying the entire burden. That sounds like him - selfish. He can't go any farther down that rabbit hold, so he just nods and says, "okay."

And Dino won't take a single person down this road, not for a very long time. He nods and reaches out to pat Finnick shakily on the arm, a show of solidarity that's as much as he can manage.

Without anything else, he leaves, off to practice until his hands hurt.

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