interstellar5555 | Fate meant it to be [closed]

Entry tags:

demyx,
roxas

Fate meant it to be [closed]

Who: Demyx and Roxas
What: Two musicians with a past all too familiar meet up at a musical equipment store looking for different things (to buy), but looking for similar things (reason)
When: Mid April
Where: Best band equipment selling store that also has an ice cream shop next to it
Warnings: At best vulgar. Other than that, TBA

With all the memories that have come rushing towards him in his extended period of sleep, Roxas has been left a little off his balance here. There has been way too much that has populated his mind of what was, what would have been, what should have been.. and everything about where he is now disagrees with that, upsetting this supposed balance he thought he had.

So, to cope with it in a way that doesn't involve serious self-destruction, he'll be at the most popular store available that sells band equipment and is closest to an ice cream shop. If anyone asks, he's looking for anything to accentuate the sound that drums have to offer. But really he's just looking for a distraction. All this is too much to take. Where is ---- when Roxas needs him?...

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There was recognition at least, a spark of knowing who he was talking to in his eyes, who he was really talking to. He nodded as Roxas spoke, he remembered that, the missions. Missions he'd never cared for, missions that had been disgraceful and deplorable, only he hadn't been able to feel anything at the time.

Mentioning the missions made him look away, shame burning his eyes. "I remember you. I remember almost everything, I think." He isn't too clear on that, things were still muddled and the time before he was Demyx, he barely remembers at all.

Then again, he was almost certain that had always been the case.

Superimposed were the doctored memories, times he spent with family before they were lost, learning to sing and enjoying it. All of a sudden he let out a slightly hysterical laugh.

"I've never been a great singer."

...really? Self-deprecating humor to close the deal here? No, no no no no. That won't work here. It may have proven an easy escape in the past, but definitely now it just won't work. Shaking his head slightly before responding, "That's a lie.. and you know it."

They've been told many things in their time, from not having anyone to relate to in their past to any effort they would be paying is meaningless but they have to do it OR ELSE, regardless, those things considered, it isn't too difficult to see in that farce.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

"...Demyx?" Please, let this get to him. "I know this sucks.. maybe not as much as what we're used to, but still." Speaking lowly here, as if 'Big Brother' were listening, "We can still make something of it. We've been through the same thing.. this isn't much different. But, there's a few of us who know better. You can help at that. Please, Demyx," Damnit, who would have thought he'd be doing this now to whom he is, "We have to work together at this. It's not fun the way it is, it's not fun the way it was before.. but we can make it better. Can't we?"

It was a bit of a lie. His voice had always been passable, even good, but he'd poured all of his talent into his sitar. Arpeggio was lost to him now, now he knew that and her absence left a searing hole in his heart. She belonged with him.

The amusement and the smile faded when Roxas called him out and he grimaced a little. Damn, humour had always been his defense mechanism, the way he coped with everything.

"Yeah." He breathed. "This sucks."

He looked like he was thinking, because it was too hard to talk when he couldn't talk freely. He rubbed at his forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

"I don't-hn." He whined a little bit. "I am still confused and I don't know how to make it better."

Well.. if these actions weren't foreign to his own experience here, Roxas would be less inclined to help in this particular way. But he knows better, through trial and error- unpleasant as it was - so he's going to put forth everything and then some for Demyx. No matter what.. because they're in this together, right? Whether they realize it or not.

"It's okay. I had the same kind of feeling during my first few times here." Maybe it's something in the air, eh? ..hopefully. That'll be an easy explanation at least. "Well.. maybe, how much do you remember?"

That factor in itself has determined where Roxas needs to go from here on out.

They had to be in it together, and Demyx needed someone familiar to focus on.

"I think I remember a lot, but it's confusing. I remember our missions, but if I was really doing that I couldn't have been singing karaoke all the time to get discovered, huh?" Demyx asked. He could sort it out, with enough time.

"I lost my family- no." His brow was furrowed. "They lost me. That feeling when I dream...I'm heartless?" He asked softly. "I meant that literally."

He let out a shuddering breath. "Arpeggio is gone."

The karaoke thing wasn't off, honestly. When they did have missions together, which wasn't often, it seemed like Demyx was in his own world. Which was fine, an envious trait if anything, but still.. as Saix would have put it, a 'clear indication of defiance towards the Organization and it's goals' blah blah blah, whatever that entailed. Man, what a stiff.

But rigid, boring pillars of concrete aside, here in front of him by some miracle was another person - yes, PERSON - who had been through almost the exact same thing he had been through. Prior to his memories going ka-put, but still. That means a lot.

Ooh.. the mention of that word, Arpeggio, Roxas almost instantly knows what that is about. With sympathy, best he can muster anyway: "I'm sorry.. yeah, it's gone. But, that doesn't mean you can't get it back." Maybe that'll bring some hope?

Edited 2016-04-19 04:21 (UTC)

Demyx had always been that way, his mind wrapped up in scores of music to pass the time, focused more on beautiful notes than anything else. It wasn't meant as defiance, so much as individuality. Saix hated things like that. So had Xemnas, to be perfectly honest.

"I can?" He asked softly, eyes widening just a little bit. He would need to, after all, it was like a very large part of him was missing.

Part of the problem with pushing the memories to the forefront of his mind was the fact he had a heart in his chest. It was beating, judging his actions, filling him with emotions he would have never felt before and those emotions were clouding his judgment. His eyes seemed to water and he caught his hand across his cheek to catch a sudden stray tear.

"I uh, met someone and all of a sudden I was just..." He waved his free hand. "What am I even doing here, Roxas?"

Heck yes you can, Demyx! Be it buying one or by some form of magic, who knows, it's possible. Roxas nods to confirm, tries to keep the mood light, but then he catches the body's response of a strong feeling coming out from Demyx.

This place sure changes people. Or Nobodies, even. Are they even still considered that anymore? Roxas barely recognizes himself after everything he's done here, even.

"I think a lot of people have that question on their mind. Only recently I've really been wondering it myself." Now he understands more of what those close to him were trying to talk about when they mentioned something off about them being here. It isn't of their own doing, is it?

"It's not.. so bad? I mean, our lives revolve around music here." That's something that Demyx would like? He was always about that music, on or off the mission.

It was so difficult to know. At the moment he had a heart, a heart capable of feeling things and could that be called a Nobody? Probably not.

The feelings were overwhelming all of a sudden because he knew he shouldn't be feeling them and he remembered not feeling. This business with hearts was so complicated and was giving him a headache.

"Yeah. I guess, but I don't know how long I've been under their spell?" He asked, puzzled. "Why hasn't the Superior come for me? Wait..." His brow furrowed. "Wasn't I looking for you?"

At least the few dreams he had suddenly made sense, if he wanted a silver lining.

"I love music." Demyx agreed with a nod. "But it's different from playing my sitar. I mean...I'm not the kind of guy who dances and sings except now I am."

He exhaled. "Rox. Somehow I have a heart. It's not helping. Mostly I feel panic." He whispered under his breath.

The mention of 'Superior' has Roxas on alert; he knows exactly what Demyx was talking about. Not difficult to remember that character. "Uh, yeah, you were. But not for fun. It was on orders. You know."

Of course he knows. They've been on those missions before. On Orders, meaning get the objective done one way or another. And, like all other members of the Organization, Demyx was charged with bringing back Roxas (and probably destroying him if that didn't work, who knows).

But like all other members of the Organization with that task, it didn't work. Demyx must not remember what happened. It might be best to.. leave that part out right now.

"Well, whatever you do don't try to distract yourself by drowning it out. It might work at first, but it really just makes for more problems." Speaking from personal experience here. Recent personal experience.

"I really don't know how to feel about the situation here.. at least I got a chance to get used to the heart thing before, but you're just figuring it out?" That has to be rough. "Man.. I'm sorry they did that to you."

"Not for...oh that's right. You left." Demyx did know, he was sure he knew most of it, it was just mixed up in his mind, needed sorting out. He had a headache already and he rubbed at his forehead irritably.

"If the subject fails to respond, use aggression to liberate his true disposition. I remember." Demyx repeated softly, staring a little bit into the distance as he did. He blinked a few times and shook his head. "I can worry about that when we're not here."

They were going back, weren't they? He twitched his hand a few times and frowned. Nothing. He held up his palm flat, again nothing.

"...I can't do anything." He admitted, swallowing. "I can't feel the water...I can't sense it, ugh." Did Roxas understand how disconcerting that felt?

"Drowning it out sounds good right about now. It'd be easier than trying to sort through this mess." The block was lifted, but he needed to sort it out himself.

"I'm just figuring it out, yeah." Demyx whined a little. "I don't think I like it. It's...it's painful!"

Sure, it's easy to not think about that thing when you're not in the situation that forces you to be presented to it.. and as easy as it is, the feelings that arise from the situation itself are anything by easy. Roxas wishes he could convey that to Demyx here, but he knows better. It isn't something he can part on as knowledge; Demyx has to come on that himself. Which sucks.

But whatever. That's how life is, apparently. Here, anyway.

Yeah, Roxas understood enough what it was like having and then losing something you were connected with. Not just one thing, but many at that. His journey has been, at least, difficult, but he's here, so clearly not fatal. Still, he understand how uneasy it is to be going through these things.

It makes him want to comfort Demyx best he can, but even if he does, he knows it will have little effect... because it did on him. Damn past experiences. Best he can, though, he'll pat Demyx on any shoulder available to him, "Please don't. It isn't the best, definitely painful, among others, but there's better ways to go about dealing with it."

With a sigh, because maybe if he had these things himself then he wouldn't have done what he has thus far and regret to an extent, "You can find another way. With help," a gentle squeeze here, "especially."

It did suck to be suffering a sudden onslaught of feelings, a sudden surge of emotions that sorted through his memories and made him think of what he should have been feeling then. It was a lot to take and blocking things out was a much better way of doing it.

"I don't know how to deal with it." Demyx responded finally. "Do you know how long it's been since I felt anything? Hn." He whined lightly. It was a lot to take in, a lot to process. He was not meant to be a deep thinker.

"Another way? What do you mean?" Demyx asked, blinking. He let out a pathetic little laugh. "No one is going to help me. With what?" His arms were wrapped around his middle protectively.

That's fair. As Nobody's there wasn't exactly a class on 'what to do once you get your heart back' explaining how to handle the emotions that can be, at best and worst, crippling. If Roxas wasn't at the supposed near-end of his life come time when he realized he had these feelings, he may have reacted the same way.

"I can only imagine. I mean.." Ah, what's the thing he's looking for? Healthy coping mechanisms? He hasn't exactly been the poster boy for that, so he's in no place to lecture, but.. he has to try. "It might be a good idea to sit just down and think it all through.. you know? Sort it out one by one, instead of trying to figure it out all at once. Map it out, draw it out, write it out.. whatever. Just get it out there so it's not inside, eating at you."

There hadn't been a class and even if Xemnas had been interested in actually fulfilling his promise, he likely wouldn't have cared about them when they left his Organization, whole again.

"It's a mess in here, I think. Things are out of order and I'm confused. I don't know what happened when they changed..." His brow furrowed. What had the label done to him?

"Let it out." He exhaled. "Words were never my thing but..." He wiggled his fingers. "If I had a sitar."

Ah, that musical expression thing. Of all the things, Demyx definitely excelled at that. If only he did have a sitar. Unfortunately, the place they're at - grand as it is - doesn't sell those. He doesn't want to break it to Demyx like that, so instead, "Hey.. you want to get some ice cream? It'll probably make you feel a little better."

It always works with Roxas. Memories and all.

That was a big if. It wasn't surprising that there wasn't a sitar lying around, after all even in his world it was a rare thing. Demyx let out a breathy laugh, his nerves filled to the brim. "Yeah. Yeah let's go eat ice cream."

He didn't have the fond memories but junk food was comfort food.

They may not have had similar 'emotional' ties to ice cream, as much as they're afforded, but Roxas knows it can't do anything to put down a mood. "Okay.. here, it's right around the corner from this place."

Assuming Demyx is going to follow him out, Roxas leads the way through and out of the music store and, like he said, right around the corner to a tiny little ice cream parlor. There aren't many flavors available, but something is better than nothing. Especially at times like this. "They don't have much.. the typical, you know. What are ya thinking?"

He did follow Roxas, being strangely quiet. Demyx was not normally a quiet guy, but he didn't want to go rambling on and on in the street like a lunatic.

He looked at the choices carefully and decided that he couldn't decide.

"A banana split, I think." Demyx said with a nod. "Different kinds of ice cream that way." Maybe it would make him feel better, but he didn't really know.

That sounds like a good option. So, when the vendor is ready, Roxas requests a vanilla (yes, boring vanilla, it's all he wants) and then the closest thing they can come to a banana split. There are two of them working the parlor, and they're effective enough to have the product ready sooner than one would think.

Though it isn't glamorous, Roxas is pretty happy about having this tasty, sugar infused frozen dairy treat in front of him. They should sit, which he indicates by finding a table and claiming a chair, wasting no time once he has on the ice cream in hand. "This.. does feel a lot better already, actually."

Probably the sugar rush.. but hey, it's working.

Demyx could only nod in agreement, although it seemed weird to just focus on something to eat for a little while. He didn't eat a whole lot as a Nobody, it just wasn't important to him. He didn't have the friend connection Roxas did to the cold treat.

However, it gave him something to focus on, something he could ground himself with.

"I don't know about that but...but it's good for a minute. I think it's good for a minute."

Sometimes it's easier to think with that little distraction, especially when it's tasty. That and Roxas does not do well at this kind of thing, the whole confronting your feelings and figuring out what to do next, crossroads, all that not-fun stuff. He's had enough of it for a life time, anyway.

"So.. with everything going on, what's your plan? What are you thinking about doing?" Stay with this music business, leave and try to find reason.. maybe nothing at all, even.

"I don't...I don't know." Demyx murmured and rubbed his forehead. He took another bite of ice cream, turning the spoon on his tongue. He let the silence linger for a second.

"I think if I don't hurry back, I'll probably be hunted down, so." Demyx said, leaving it open ended. That was the problem with it, if he left, he was a traitor. As bad as Roxas, although he didn't really remember the details of that.

He felt like he was trapped, and he was, literally, but between one cage and another, which was worse? At least here he wasn't isolated and had a lot more freedoms than he was used to.

"I thought about staying here, but since the Superior can track me, there'd be no point."

Vanilla ice cream, welcome to being half eaten. There is no such thing as brain freeze in this kid's world. Since he's thought his this himself, it doesn't take long for him to counter the idea. "But if that was the case.. wouldn't I have been tracked by now? I've been here a while. You'd think of all people, the big bad traitorous XIII would've been first on his list?"

Unless Demyx pulled off something way worse.

He hadn't pulled off something worse, but what he had done was fail to bring Roxas back to the Organization. It was pretty awful in Saix's eyes.

"I...well yeah, but he always said if we left, he'd find us." Demyx blinked at Roxas. He'd been spoonfed those lines for years. He believed every one of them.

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